Toys?

butterflygrooves

I *think* we are getting the clinic day for FD this week and hopefully a dx sometime soon, maybe?

Anyway, FD (2 yrs) has been in our home for 6 months and we haven't found a toy that she will "play" with.  She holds stuffed animals in her lap, not hugging them but holding them possessively, never playing with or exploring them.  She doesn't like toys that make sounds or speak.  She doesn't use riding or rocking toys, i.e. we have a zebra riding/rolling toy with a removable rocking base that she will sit on but not rock or push.  We have a few Melissa & Doug toys (lacing beads, wooden blocks, puzzles, and a simple bear dress-up puzzle), she will dump the puzzles and beads out of the boxes but not do anything else with them.  If I put the wooden blocks near her she will grab them one by one and hoard them between her legs, once all of the blocks are between her legs she will either move them back to their original location one by one or leave them between her legs while she fidgets with her fingers or looks around the room.  She hasn't shown an interest in outdoor toys, balls, or any other kind of toy really.  I've made her some sensory bins but she shows no interest in them. 

She will not make a choice to play on her own but when told to play in her room she will take everything out of the toy box and then stand there waiting for me to tell her to pick it all up.  Outdoor play includes her walking to the middle of the yard and standing there, doing nothing.  If I throw a ball and ask her to get it, she will go pick it up and wait for me to ask her to bring it back.  We play with her all the time, showing her how to play with toys or how to chase after the other kids but she doesn't seem to absorb what is being said.

Help me to find something that might stimulate her, I have no idea anymore.

houndbaby

Have you tried simple physical/social games with her like tickling, peek a boo, flipping her upside down, swinging her around, etc. If you can get her laughing and playing and engaged in a simple activity like that and can get her to want to play you may have more success getting her to play with other toys in the future.  My ds is ASD and he used to not play with toys appropriately, the only play he really enjoyed and became engaged in was the physical play or simple silly games like peek a boo.

butterflygrooves

-auntie-:

Does this child have an ASD dx or is it suspected? Is she the one you call Little Owl?

Right now it's suspected, we are still waiting on a clinic day with the neuropsychologist.  Also, our referral for RC will be sent out on Thursday after I meet with our pedi to try and get a referral to neuro for brain scans, etc.

Yes, this is for Owl. 

butterflygrooves

houndbaby - She doesn't respond to physical or social games with me and will seldom respond with a laugh or shake from excitement with my wife.  My SIL plays really rough with her (play fighting, encouraging her to hit/shove/be aggressive - not something I want to encourage) which she enjoys.  SIL also gets her to dance (in front of IL's and us) which she normally won't do in front DW or I but will do when she thinks we aren't watching.

butterflygrooves

-auntie-:

Assuming you are going to get the ASD dx, there could be a number of reasons why her play is dysfunctional for her age.

1. The first one that comes to mind is that she doesn't "know" how to play. This could be because she lacks the theory of mind to play in the make believe manner typical of her peers. Many toys like stuffies, dolls and trucks run on imagination which she just doesn't have at this point.

2. Or it could be because she is socially and emotionally delayed. Kids on spectrum bring the social and emotional tools of children much younger than their chronological age to the party. For a bright kid with Aspergers the skills are more like someone 2/3 their real age. For someone with a more classic form of autism, it could be closer to 1/3 her chronological age. You guys have a lot of experience with kids, does her "play" look more like what an infant does- mouthing, passing hand to hand, examining, emptying? This is what babies do, emotionally and cognitively it may be where she is right now.

3. Or she could be she is misreading your overatures to engage and play. It's interesting that your SIL can engage her with more aggressive/in-your-face play. This is often a trait of kids with autism who struggle to read social cues in others and who often only respond to over-the-top behavior. Watch this, because sometimes these kids are so poor at sensing attention that they'll misbehave to get a reaction big enough to register with them.

Floortime could be a good option. I'd start with engaging her in something she does like- reading together, music, mock battles, or even joining her in her dysfunctional play. This will teach her it's good to "play" with someone else. Then you can. over time, teacher her how to play by deliberate sabotage. When we did Floortime, we did an hour 1:1 with just DS and no distractions- not DH, the cats or other children- for at least an hour. It was challenging.

It may be years- or perhaps never- before you can command her to "go play" and have her be successful without someone else providing a scaffold on which she can organize her play.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!   Having it laid out like that helps me understand much better.

KelliO924

Does she communicate at all?  What really helped us was a floortime type approach (it was actually a group speech class, but it seemed to be the thing that got the ball rolling) where the kids were taught to point and make choices for preferred foods. We have tons of toys around here, and most he just wasn't interested in.  He did like rolling balls back and forth, so we would engage him with that.  Bubbles also were a game changer because we could get that joint attention and from there begin teaching sign/words.  We still use bubbles if he is spacing out and we want him to play with us.  He liked things that light up and he loved the etch a sketch (this is how we taught him letters and numbers).

 I would suggest really watching her and what how she plays.  Even if she just jumps or flaps her hands, try to get into her world.  You want to teach her how much fun it is to play with you.  I don't know that any certain toy will make the change, but I think it's more about finding different ways to manipulate different things in order to get her attention.

 We had a great experience with the Hanen program...the book title is "More Than Words."

butterflygrooves

KelliO924:

Does she communicate at all?  What really helped us was a floortime type approach (it was actually a group speech class, but it seemed to be the thing that got the ball rolling) where the kids were taught to point and make choices for preferred foods. We have tons of toys around here, and most he just wasn't interested in.  He did like rolling balls back and forth, so we would engage him with that.  Bubbles also were a game changer because we could get that joint attention and from there begin teaching sign/words.  We still use bubbles if he is spacing out and we want him to play with us.  He liked things that light up and he loved the etch a sketch (this is how we taught him letters and numbers).

 I would suggest really watching her and what how she plays.  Even if she just jumps or flaps her hands, try to get into her world.  You want to teach her how much fun it is to play with you.  I don't know that any certain toy will make the change, but I think it's more about finding different ways to manipulate different things in order to get her attention.

 We had a great experience with the Hanen program...the book title is "More Than Words."

No communication at all.

april262011

I don't have any experience with ASD, but what about a shallow plastic tub filled with water and a floating toy for her to splash her hands in outside?  It sure sounds like you have tried everything; I hope you find that special toy.