Antepartum — The Bump
Postpartum Depression

Antepartum

Does anyone suffer from this? I really feel like I am going crazy. My DH and I were trying for a baby for over a year. He was told he was infertile, but we kept trying. Finally we just gave up and excepted it wasn't going to happen. Well a month later we got pregnant. I was happy, for the first week or two. Now that I am almost 9 weeks along, I am dreading everything. I can't pretend to even be happy. I feel like a terrible, selfish parent. I keep thinking of how my life is going to change, my body is going to change, the pain of labor, how I just want to responsible for myself. My DH is a great man, but he doesn't know how to help me. All I do is try and sleep, but I can't sleep, some days I eat too much other days not enough. I feel lost and out of control, some days I even want to hurt myself (but I don't). I was diagnosed manic depressive as a teen, but with medication and therapy I recovered within a year. But this feels similiar, and I know I need help. I have an apt on tuesday with the dr to discuss this all. But please someone tell me I'm not crazy. That I'm not the only mother who doesn't feel they want thier child. =...( I want to love my baby.

Re: Antepartum

  • It's good to keep n mind that you never "recover" from bipolar. It doesn't go away like a blister. Your hormones are raging right now and that definitely adds to the mess. Talk to someone, or st least your OB and let her be what you're going through. 

    Meds aren't unheard of to help one of the guilt and anxiety that are surfing. Take lots of time to feel everything you are feeling an don't judge yourself too harshly.

    Good luck! 

  • I have suffered from major depressive disorder for a number of years.  Due to a recent move, I was dealing with a new psychiatrist when I got pregnant.  She weaned me off all medications, which was a major mistake.  I spiraled downward pretty badly.  Ultimately, I went back on antidepressants both for my sanity and the health of the baby.  Depressed moms are more likely to go into preterm labor and are less likely to take care of themselves the way they need to during pregnancy.  Please do not feel guilty if you need to take antidepressants.  You are not alone.  And your baby is not going to have two heads.  Antidepressants have proven to be very safe, with little risk to baby.  There is greater risk in you continuing to feel the way you do.
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