Single Parents

Emergency Custody and all that junk.. (Ohio)

DS's father and I are not together. DS is going to be a week old tomorrow.. We are getting along and being civil.. We do not have a court set visitation schedule at this point but I allow BD to visit DS whenever he wants.. BD is not listed on DS's birth certificate  but he said he is going to go to child support and request DNA so that he can be put on there.. (They require the DNA to add).. I'm a little lost with everything.. I know if the state orders something I can't really go against it (correct me if I'm wrong.. I'm new to this and struggling for advice.) but it kind of worries me..


Anyways.. BD wants to take DS for the 4th of July for the day because his family is having a cook out.. And I know that DS needs some bonding time with BD.. But I'm scared to death that BD is going to get DS and then call and say that I abandoned him and make up a horrendous lie to get emergency custody.. I want to be fair but I don't want to chance anything especially having the baby taken.. I know that I was told that Ohio is a maternal state and that no court will award a father sole custody unless the mom is way bad off.. And I'm not. I'm kind of spinning in a circle right now and need some advice from some of you ladies who have been through this.. Where do I start? What can I do? Is there anything I can do to prevent the chance of having the baby taken like that? I'm just completely worried and upset at the whole idea of having my son ripped away from me. Words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated.

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Re: Emergency Custody and all that junk.. (Ohio)

  • I don't think I would let my child go to BD unsupervised if I had a fear that he would pull a stunt like that.  I'd tell him that until a custody/visitation order is in place that it wouldn't happen, period.
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  • Even if he did try to keep the baby, he couldn't.  He is not on the birth certificate and therefore is no legal relation to the child.  It would be kidnapping and you could file criminal charges against him. 

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  • You need to consult with a family law attorney to find out what your rights are in your state.  Guessing and hearsay will only make you more frightened.
  • Who told you Ohio is a maternal state? I would only go with advice of an attorney--and even then I'd prefer the advice of a magistrate or judge because even every court has its own opinions and informal rules. Honestly, I am all for dads rights but I would wait to exchange your child until you can be absolutely guaranteed he is coming back at a time the court decides

    My dh had a child with a woman when he was 20 and she put him on the birth cert with no DNA he asked for one but she told him no and he didn't press. To this day there hasn't been a DNA and he did eventually get sole custody of his child. They now share custody but we live in Ohio. Just throwing that out there

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  • The only thing that matters at this point is that legally, he has no rights. He can't take the baby away from you. You're the sole legal and physical custodian. It would be like a baby sitter kidnapping the child. 

    As far as the 4th, I would offer to meet him there for a few hours. I would not allow him the entire day without you there. That is just me, but my guy won't be alone with his father until I have a custody agreement in place.

    You need to talk to a family lawyer. Every state is different, but the general assumption in unmarried couples is that the mom's right supersede the dads. He wouldn't get sole custody. But, it's joint custody where things change. Again, most states won't change the life style of an infant. They need to be with their primary care giver, and that is almost ALWAYS mom.  I'm all for Dad's rights, but the dad needs to be involved. Donating a little genetic material doesn't make you a parent. 

  • So your son will be about 6 weeks old?  Are you breastfeeding?  My convo would go something like "sorry.....DS eats every 2 hours so he needs to be w/ me so he can eat."  Suggest bringing him yourself and staying for a little while so his family can meet the baby.  BD probably just wants to show him off. 
    Sorry I don't have any legal advice and don't know custody laws but that's just my thought for that day anyway.

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  • imageDaringMiss:
    You need to consult with a family law attorney to find out what your rights are in your state.  Guessing and hearsay will only make you more frightened.


    THIS!!! And if you don't think you can afford an attorney, check with your local legal aid group or a women's support group (shelter, etc).

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