Girlfriends

Athena0809

I have this group of friends who are a little older than me so they all have older kids most of them teenagers, so I feel like they have forgotten what is like to have young babies. My relationship with them has changed. They expect me to go out like when I didn't have DS. And they want me to go on a long weekend possibly a week long trip and I won't leave DS for one night let alone a week. And it's not about what it's OK or what's not, it's a matter of choice. I still go out with them sometimes because I don't want to alienate them and I know I need to invest in my relationship with my girlfriends, even when 90% of the time I rather go to bed than get dolled up go out and nurse a coke all night. But how to deal with this situation. Has your relationship with childless friends or with older kids changed? 

jcameron2010

Friends? What are those?

No, seriously though, I have only just recently (like the past month) finally started hanging out with someone other than my mom. I have done nothing with friends for basically DS first year. But that's just my situation. Hopefully someone else has had better luck.

jg_girl1

I really don't spend time with or talk to any of my girlfriends from before DD was born. However I was lucky enough to meet another May momma on this board. The two of us are pretty much inseparable now. I really don't know what I would do without her. Even DH has lost contact with many of his friends.  It is amazing how no one wants to hang out with us now that we have a kid. 

fancynewbeesly

My best friend lives in St. Louis (and I am in NJ) so she usually is able to fly to visit once a year--so when she comes to visit, it is usually a baby free weekend.

Besides that, I am lucky in the fact that most of my friends have kids around Reese's age or slightly older (2 or 3) so they get it.

Also last year at my job, there were 6 babies born from March to September, so now that are kids are slightly older, we have been trying to get them together more and more.  

oooCarrieB

I rarely go out to bars with girlfriends. It is not very fun for me anymore and difficult because of my DH's work schedule. If I'm going out, I'd rather be going out with my husband.

You can figure out other ways to spend time with friends. I like to do brunch and bring along baby, or lunch during the work week, happy hour (I leave work a little early and just get home an hour later than usual), or do drinks/dessert at my house after baby has gone to bed.

Of course it's nice to meet new friends who have babies the same age too! 

urbanflowerpot

Oh, for sure! Though I'm getting a few of them back now that they're pg - mwhahaha

Athena0809

oooCarrieB:

I rarely go out to bars with girlfriends. It is not very fun for me anymore and difficult because of my DH's work schedule. If I'm going out, I'd rather be going out with my husband.

You can figure out other ways to spend time with friends. I like to do brunch and bring along baby, or lunch during the work week, happy hour (I leave work a little early and just get home an hour later than usual), or do drinks/dessert at my house after baby has gone to bed.

Of course it's nice to meet new friends who have babies the same age too! 

That's the weird thing, whenever I suggest a daytime activity the excuse is their kids!

I have met a couple other moms with babies the same age, and I have a blast, we do play dates and just a conversation with them about what we are going through is sanity right now!

flutepharm87

The only friends I see on a somewhat regular basis are the ones with babies/toddlers. My single friends are under the impression that I've died. I never even get invited to do things with them, even though DH is great about watching them so I can get some time with friends in (which happens about once in a blue moon).

Usually my interaction with other people involves playdates. The kids are entertained and mommy can socialize with someone that talks back with something other than babble. This is the one thing that truly sucks about being the only person in your group of friends doing the family thing.