***Warning Rainbow Pregnancy Related***

Auki13

I was sitting here debating whether I should post here or on Pgal and just felt it was better suited over here.  If not, please let me know and I can move it.

I am going to be 12 weeks pregnant with my rainbow tomorrow and I have been in pregnancy clothes for a few weeks now (with this being my 4th full term pregnancy and the last being less than a year ago I popped very early).  I have been wearing my cousin's clothes and just got back my own from my SIL.  Today I put on one of my own tops and I completely forgot it was the shirt I wore to the funeral home 2 days after having Annabelle to make arrangements.  Talk about a vivid and unexpected flashback.  So I pretty much sat down and just cried remember my precious little Annabelle and just how difficult it was having to say goodbye.  And then I freaked out because we have a high level ultrasound on Monday that will show if this baby has any abnormalities and I am terrified.  I just cannot imagine having to say goodbye again and I am a bit of a mess.  

I just really needed to write and get this off my chest and ask all of you for any prayers/good vibes you can send this way.  

I am so sorry for any new loss mommas and I hope this post doesn't bother you.  Thank you for reading... I know I haven't been posting on here a ton, but have been trying to focus positively with this pregnancy and am trying to take it day by day.  Love you all.

johnnys june

*hugs*

This happened to me.  I was around 9-10 weeks around Christmas time.  We were visiting my family in NC so it was cold.  I put on one of my long sleeve maternity shirts from my last pg.  A few minutes later I had a flash back to the last time I wore it....the day Logan died in my arms.  That shirt was stained with invisible tears and was the last shirt to be near my baby boy's body.  I had a HUGE meltdown, took it off, and it is now stored in the back of my closet.  I can't throw it out.  But I will NEVER wear it again.

One day at a time....and trying to stay positive is all you can do.  Keep us posted about your ultrasound.  Sending many T & P that everything is normal and that you find some relief.  PM anytime! 

Mrs Nice

Big Hugs! I know how you feel. I felt the same way when I had to pull out my maternity clothes. Each time I put something on for the first time again, it was like, "the last time I wore this....." It was especially hard that first time because I couldnt help but think how small I looked in them since the last time I wore them. The one dress that I wore to Ian's funeral I never could bring myself to wear again. 

Good luck on Monday! I will be thinking of you! 

Heatherhah

I did the same thing I was in maternity clothes at about 5 wks this time since this is my 6th pregnancy. Just last week I found a stack of maternity shirts and one was the shirt I wore to the hospital the day we foiund out Sydney died. I showed DH and I said remember this shirt and he surprised me and said yes you wore it to the hosptial the day Sydney died. I was floored he remembered. It is so sad that clothes make us think of sad moments when every day is sad for us.

HUGE HUGS!!!

Heather

cherrycobbler

I know how you feel, mostly (since I am not pregnant yet).  I recently had a moment about last years bikini bathing suit.  I did not wear a maternity suit last year, and I spent a lot of time swimming.  Since my hips got a little bigger, and my stomach never really went back to flat, I wore the same one this year, but it felt "wrong".  I was wearing it a few days before I had Robin.  It was my "pregnancy suit".  I told my dh I needed a new one, but I don't think he understood.  Weird how we can have such strong connections to clothing.

You can definitely have all of my extra good vibes for Monday's ultrasound.  Good luck!

tubbsy32

I will be praying for you. Please let us know how your ultrasound goes. I will also pray that you have peace until Monday and throughout your pregnancy. Try to get some good sleep. ((HUGS))

Auki13

Thanks everyone.  I didn't think I would get so emotional about my pregnancy clothes, but obviously I did.  My husband doesn't get it, but he obviously doesn't have the same attachment to the clothes that I did.  I will update about the u/s on Monday and hope that the next couple of days go quickly.  

whiteroses05

I can't imagine what it is like to put back on maternity clothes that had so much meaning to you!! I really hope you appointment goes well on Monday!! Let us know how it goes!! T&P along with good vibes coming your way!!

littlepenguin2012

Auki,  I am glad that you posted this here- sometimes I feel I am not sure which board to post to either.  I know how you feel about the maternity clothes.  We are actually only a day or two apart (I'll be 12 weeks this Sunday) and I am just pulling out my maternity stuff now.  The shirt on top was the one that I wore to Lucian's funeral.  It is so hard.   Huge, big ((hugs)) to you and hope your ultasound goes well!  I'll be thinking of you.  

krysiahamaty

Huge hugs. PGAL is so hard. I unexpectedly got pregnant so soon after losing Jack and I'm wearing all the same clothes I wore when I was pregnant with him plus we have all the same stuff we got for him from the shower, etc. It's so hard. He should be enjoying those toys and things.

Big hugs and sending you all the good vibes and thoughts I have.

Carolee

I can relate.  I don't think I'll ever be able to wear the skirt/blouse again that I wore when we went to the funeral home to make the arrangements for Eliott.  I'll be thinking of yoiu tomorrow.  (((HUGS)))

weddedwife

I had to dig through my box of maternity clothes this week, looking for my Bella band. I packed them up so hastily after Nathaniel died, it brought back a lot of pain looking through there. Of course the Bella band was on the bottom. I ripped through there with such determination to not look at anything else but I couldn't help it. I saw the outfit I wore to the hospital the night I went into labor and Nathaniel was born/died. I had put on that outfit so innocently that morning. I don't know if I can ever wear it again, but it's in there. I don't know what I'm going to do about the bra- it's one of 2 I wore both my entire pregnancies. It's my best one, I don't see how I can not wear it

 I also saw the tiny "I'm a Big Sister" shirt we bought for DD. I remember packing it away -fast- but not where. Well there it was. It is already way too small for her now