Any dads or dads to be over 45?

TEXASRATGIRL

I was wondering if there are any dads or dads to be over 45 here?

If so, what are your thoughts of being a older father? 

Are you worried you won't be around in a couple years?

 Would love some feed back.

Thanks,

Wife of worried husband

vnstacie

Worried they won't be around in a couple years????

A couple.. Means 2, a few means 3.. So on a so forth.

Why wouldn't they be around in a couple years?

Do you know the life expectancy of a man....? 75.7 years. 

iWesleyd08

faupanda:

I wouldn't have a baby with a 45 year old. They might die within your baby's first year. I would divorce him and start a new life with a younger man.

 

yep. this is what everyone should do. 

TEXASRATGIRL

This question was not meant as a joke. I am really looking for insight from the guys on the board.

 We are both over 40, no kids. Both always wanted a family. Got married late in life. 

 Now due to medical issues on my part, IUI is suggested  by the doctor.

 Husband was on board just a couple months ago. Now is worried about his age and the fact that he has diabetes and I have mild AR.

Please no jokes. I am very upset that he is changing his mind.

 Thanks,

wife of worried husband

alieb82

I'm sorry that some people are choosing to poke fun at what seems to be a genuine concern of yours.  I can't respond from experience of my own, but I do know 2 men very well who did not have a child until they were in their late 40s.  One of them actually had two children - he's 58 now and has a 10 year old boy and 12 year old girl.  I just saw him earlier this week, and he seems like such a happy father.  I bet if we asked him his thoughts on the subject, he would say it was the best thing he ever did.  Your husband's concerns are probably very common, but I think it's worth any "risk" to have a family.  Good luck!

LesleyT

Just happened to jump on this board since I heard about it on my mom board...My husband is 54. We just had a baby- I'm a FTM, and he's a GRANDFATHER...and now a father. The whole family is cool with it...."Modern Family"  

He is worried about being around- so it helps to make him eat healthier, be healthier, etc. The one concern is that I want another baby and he's worried about prolonging baby stages and would like to "move on" to the next stage. But- after having this one- now 5 wks- he's more open to another one...but we'd do it pretty quick and not dilly dally.

BTW- I'm 42- so I don't think 45 is so bad. And I have friends that are 45/50 having kids too....

 If it works for yu, don't worry about everyone else  

Ximena M

My husband is 49 and I am 41 we just had a baby, my first his third.  Like pp said, his age helps me to get him to eat right and take care of himself.  My dad and stepmother had their last when they were in their mid 40's.  My little sister just graduated high school and dad and stepmom are still healthy and going strong. 

I would say that if having children is important to you don't let age stop you!  People die when their young, as well as when they are old. 

Is there a possibility that he is scared of the challenges that you face getting pregnant?  It is emotionally difficult and can be heart wrenching when it doesn't happen on your own time line.  By the way, I highly recommend "Take Charge of Your Fertility".   

TEXASRATGIRL

Thank you to those that spoke from the heart.

He is back on board with us trying IUI.  

We had a long talk this afternoon and got a lot of stuff aired out. 

 The important thing is we are going to go for it!!!! 

We are going to take a little trip in the next couple weeks and then schedule the IUI . 

With any luck (and I need lots of it and prayers) we will be prego by the niddle of July.

Thanks again for the feed back. Congratulations to all you new parents, hope I get to join the group soon.

Sincerely,

Wife of still worried husband...but going for it

iWesleyd08

TEXASRATGIRL:

This question was not meant as a joke. I am really looking for insight from the guys on the board.

 We are both over 40, no kids. Both always wanted a family. Got married late in life. 

 Now due to medical issues on my part, IUI is suggested  by the doctor.

 Husband was on board just a couple months ago. Now is worried about his age and the fact that he has diabetes and I have mild AR.

Please no jokes. I am very upset that he is changing his mind.

 Thanks,

wife of worried husband

 

i read this right after reading a post that someone was trying to cause drama so thats just how i interpreted it. woops...i work in retail and there are a lot of "older" parents that come in with their young ones. i dont see any reason why not. i did read your thoughts on why not, but if you let the the world stop you from having a child or doing anything then we would all be cooped up in our house with the door locked.  

dmndsr4eva

I personally don't think 45 is too old.  I think it is fairly common for men that age to have kids especially men who are remarried.

My BF is 45 and he is helping me raise my 2.5 year old.  We have plans to try to have a baby in the next year or two.  He loves children and being a family but unfortunately his marriage of twenty years failed.  He has two teenage children from his first marriage.

Nothing in life is guaranteed.  If you two love each other and want to have a baby then do it.  Worrying about dying at age 45 doesn't make a lot of sense to me.  Anyone can die tomorrow, it doesn't matter if you are 19 or 45.  You can't base your life on that fear.

laoch101

My bf is 45 and I love him. He's amazing. He's super excited to be a dad. He feels so much more mentally ready and prepared. He's talked about how in his 20's having a kid scared him. He was truly not ready. He would have stepped up and been a great dad but he had the choice and choose to wait. It helps that I'm 29 and he is in amazing shape. He's like a guy in his 30's.

Waiting till we were both ready is the best choice we have ever made. Especially with the difficulties of trying to maintain a pregnancy. Having him on board and supportive was a must.

Im so glad he's back on board for iui.  With your health issues, it simply means you need to be more proactive about your health.

amanda5093

Just wanted to share, thought my insight could help. My husband just turned 49 in the beginning of June and age has always been a concern of ours when starting a family, but we always knew we wanted one so it never seemed to be a deterrent. Our little bundle is almost here and although it troubles us sometimes that he may not be here in the later years of our sons life, we are both determined to enjoy the time he has with us. And we have both decided to take life one step at a time. I know it sounds cliche. Our son I believe as an adult when his father is in fact gone will understand how important having him was to us and hopefully will respect that.

KateLouise

My parents were 40 when they had me. They have always been highly active and involved parents.

They have always said that that they liked having kids at an older age because it made them feel more connected to the youth and younger generations.

My parents are now int heir 70s and still very active. It's not unusual to find my mum on the roof pruning a tree or clearing gutters. Obviously some of their good health is down to good luck but that is true of us all. Anyone, at any age could step under a bus or be struck with a terrible illness. 

It's best not live life with the "what ifs"

Good luck TTC, and have a great trip. 

Weasel King

My dad was 40 when I arrived and I had always figured I'd have any children earlier than that, but that's not the way it worked out.  I'm 46 and thrilled to be a dad.  It just means that I have even more reason to stay active and healthy now! 

While being an older parent does mean that some plans and choices will be different than if I had become a parent at age 30, lots of choices we make will be impacted by age.  As long as you think about where you might need to adjust your plans, everything should be fine.  For example, you may need to consider how you want to plan college funding differently if you planned on retiring early, but this isn't a barrier to having a child, it's just part of the planning.

Good luck and for all the late nights, early mornings and... fascinating smells, it's so amazingly worth it.