Yes, I did DD

lynn0926

I would not want any potential donors to change their minds. I am sorry for upsetting anyone.

AmCheri

Thanks sweets. I think it was the right thing to do. If you didn't see my reply before you DD, let me just reiterate that I'm behind you 100%. We all are!  I'm very excited for you and keeping my fingers crossed that you have a smooth DE cycle.

SweetDahlia

I didn't get to respond, I would have done the same thing. I see why it is bad though. Lots of luck with your cycle.

Edwina.McDunnough

I know where you are coming from and I really don't think what you did was with any malice. Maybe the fact that so many people would do the same without any hesitation or second thought is just the reality.

My sincerest apologies Lynn and everyone. I guess the question is, now that the topic has been brought up, how would a person react in a similar situation?

I hope you know that I'm totally behind you.

lynn0926

Edwina.McDunnough:

I know where you are coming from and I really don't think what you did was with any malice. Maybe the fact that so many people would do the same without any hesitation or second thought is just the reality.

My sincerest apologies Lynn and everyone. I guess the question is, now that the topic has been brought up, how would a person react in a similar situation?

I hope you know that I'm totally behind you.

No need to apologize.  You brought up a good point. I would feel aweful if a potential donor read it and chose to not donate because of my post. What they are doing for us is truly a gift and I hope anyone donating understands what a gift they are to us. I never intended to misuse the info, but I can see why a potential donor would be worried about that. 

AmCheri

Edwina.McDunnough:

I guess the question is, now that the topic has been brought up, how would a person react in a similar situation?

For me, the importance of anonymity cannot be stressed enough because I think it's key to a workable system. Maybe we're working toward semi or total transparency. Maybe that will be the norm someday, but it isn't now. The concept of DE and DS is still in the earliest stages of understanding and acceptance. Also, some couples simply may not want to know.  The same may be true for certain donors. I think anonymity where desired is important to preserve because it ultimately protects the integrity of the system. 

lynn0926

AmCheri:

Edwina.McDunnough:

I guess the question is, now that the topic has been brought up, how would a person react in a similar situation?

For me, the importance of anonymity cannot be stressed enough because I think it's key to a workable system. Maybe we're working toward semi or total transparency. Maybe that will be the norm someday, but it isn't now. The concept of DE and DS is still in the earliest stages of understanding and acceptance. Also, some couples simply may not want to know.  The same may be true for certain donors. I think anonymity where desired is important to preserve because it ultimately protects the integrity of the system. 

The semi transparent issue is a good one to bring up. It is obvious that my clinic is semi transparent with all the info they share with you. I guess this is something to take into consideration when choosing a clinic. I know some clinics even only show baby pics. I guess with my clinic showing the actual DOB plus what schools they attended makes the donor semi transparent.  

mtlaurel

I think I missed some additional posts - just wanted to add that I don't think you did anything wrong and I can understand why you did it. I think your clinic might be misleading all involved if selling an anonymous program, but regularly disclosing identifying information, and I have a problem with that.

Wishing you luck in your cycle.

vanessagorc

I have no dog in this race...but I feel like its information u can't ever unknow.  Which is why I responded before. It seems risky to know it.  What happens in 15 yrs, when ur kid asks about the donor, if u are open.  And u actually know WHO they are. How do u not say. 

And what if for some reason, u can't hold it in...and tell ur kid.  And then someday a kid shows up wanting to meet the donor.  It ruins the whole program, really.  That's why I said I would leave well enoug alone.  Bc now u know, and u will never not know.    

vanessagorc

Btw, I don't mean "u" in reference to ur situation.  I mean as the collective u.  No judgement passed.  Just why I would not have done it.