Late Term and Child Loss

I'm making a big step next week

I made a lunch date for next week with my friend who was pg when I was. Our babies were due about a month apart. I have only seen her once since my loss, back in Jan. when she was still pg. She will obviously be bringing her baby, a boy. She is coming over to my house.

I am nervous but I know this is something I have to do. I have only held 1 baby 1 time since my loss- a one year old. So this will be my first "newbie"- he is about 7 weeks old. I am going to hold him. I don't know how I will feel but I'm going to do it.
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Re: I'm making a big step next week

  • I came to find it's actually harder before you go, then it is when you are actually there. I had two friends who had baby boys with in weeks of when I had Gavin. (Thank God they weren't friends) It was the one dad's birthday party and he was Gavin's godfather so I knew we had to go. I dreaded it so bad before hand. I cried and begged my SO to please let's just stay home. Gavin's godfather was there for us through everything though ( He used to come up and sit with me while Gavin as in the NICU. He would hold his hand, rub his head and talk to him. Then when Gavin was dying. HE was right there at the hospital gave us the space we needed but kept close to protect us) opting out was not an option.

    When I got there it wasn't as bad as I feared. I actually went up to his wife and took the baby. I thought for sure I would be a blubbering mess but I was o.k.

    I hope everything goes well for you and that you are able to hold her baby without feeling like a knife is in your heart. It's strange I find that often times the build up to things is worse then the actual day/event. Sending you love, hugs and lots of support.

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  • I agree with StephK86- the build up to actually holding a baby is much harder than holding the baby. I held DH's cousins baby he was 5 weeks and he weighed 10 pds so close to what Sydney weuighed and I found myself wanting to hold him so I was okay at that point. Good luck I hope you have a great time with your friend or as great as you can.


    DS- Brenden born 11/13/93 Missed miscarriage on March 6, 2007 @ 9 weeks D&C on March 8th 2007. Riley Annalise born 2/25/08 ( 3 weeks early weighing 8 lbs 12.8 oz.) Chemical pregnancy 3/2010. Sydney Adriana born sleeping on 9/30/11 weighing 10lbs 3 oz at 38wks 4 days. Trinity Alivia born via c section at 36 wks 4 days weighing 9 lbs. 5.7 oz. She is our amazing rainbow baby!!! Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers PGAL buddy drvst8
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  • Good luck! I will also be interested to hear how it goes. I am still at the point that I walk (ok, run) the other way when I see or hear little babies, especially girls.

    BFP #1 12.24.07 - DD born @ 39w1d on 08.26.08
    BFP #2 08.04.11 - DD born still @ 37w3d on 03.25.12

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    TTC #3 since May 2012

    BFP #3 12.29.12 - CP @ 4w2d on 01.02.13
    BFP #4 10.17.13 - CP @ 4w2d on 10.23.13

    BFP #5 04.06.14 - MMC 05.07.14

    No longer trying to conceive.

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  •  I also agree the anticipation of doing any social activity for me is actually worse. Good Luck.
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  • I think it's great that you are taking that step! I haven't yet.  Good luck! Let us know how it goes. ((HUGS))
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  • That is a big step! I understand the feeling that it is something you have to do. I held a friend's baby in Feb. That was the only baby I have held, and it was comfortable and easy because my friendship with the mommy is that way. I guess I felt supported whatever my reaction was, and I felt safe. I don't have any desire to see or hold anyone else's babies at this point. Hope everything goes well, and that you feel similarly safe and supported!
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  • I may be ok being the lady who can't hold babies....I have held maybe one since Grace passed away....and it was one who was born a month after she should have been.  It was hard and I haven't since.  My niece is due in August, I will hold her obviously, but I don't have a burning desire to be able to hold babies really.  Now, my 2.5 year old niece, I will hold all day (if she would let me :)


    Good luck and I hope it goes well! 

    We are so thankful that our second daughter, Lillian Elizabeth "Lily", was born healthy and happy on February 11, 2013.  We love her to pieces.  

    We lost our first daughter, Hannah Grace on May 4, 2011.  She was buried on May 14 during a beautiful service at my home church. We are grateful that if she could not be here with us, that she is healed and whole with the Lord. We look forward to the day when we will get to meet her. We love her so much.

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