Feeling a little sad and discouraged... — The Bump

Feeling a little sad and discouraged...

I've been organizing all of my pics for baby books for my twins' first b-day in August. I just feel so down. We are soooo lucky that our babies are okay and home and happy, but I get so discouraged when the first thing everyone asks is "what are they doing" and then I can tell that they are surprised that my kids are so behind. My kids are almost 10mo old they don't sit independently, they don't crawl, my daughter is still all G tube feeds with very very small gains. She's also deaf due to auditory nueropathy. I know I should feel happy that they are both here with me, but I can't help but mourn for what's been lost. I know most of it will come in time. I just wish my daughter would swallow a bite of her birthday cake when the time comes :-(
Lilypie Premature Baby tickers

Re: Feeling a little sad and discouraged...

  • I'm so sorry to hear that you are feeling down - I think its perfectly normal - I dont doubt for an instant that you are happy they are here with you.... too many of us here know what its like to have to tell yourself "it could be worse - they could be gone" but that doesnt diminish the feelings any parent would have if their children have health issues - preemie or termie - I've been working on the picture book of DD's NICU stay for an entire year - sometimes the feelings are overwhelming and I cant go on - I still cannot read my journals from those months.... I am willing to bet that doing this is good for you - as hard as it is - it's theraputic - When people ask you what they are doing.... tell them they are alive and amazing and stronger than both you and I..... that is sooooooo much more than sitting up or eating cake! chin up mommy..... I tell my girl all the time that she had all her struggles and hardships very early in life so that she can grow up and have an INCREDIBLE life and do incredible things!
    image image image Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
  • I can understand where you are coming from. My DD is primarily G-Tube fed at 15 months. We are going to attempt a feeding clinic this summer now that she has had her Cleft Palate repaired.

    At her first birthday she barely licked her cake, but that didn't stop me from letting her have her smash cake. She still made a heck of a mess. Even her twin (DS) who was eating pureed well didn't "eat" his cake, he just made a mess.

    I have had days where I have literally cried so hard about trying to feed her orally.  Even though she has made great strides I still struggle with what is left to do. 

     You are not alone with your feelings.  

    Mom to preemie b/g twins born 14 weeks early after 3 years of IF, 8 clomid cycles and 1 IVF. Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
  • I know who you feel.  My DD is 17months/21 months adjusted and cannot sit unassissted.  She's been army crawling for months and rolling over to get around. She will be 2 in August and I still haven't finshed her baby book....I'll get to it eventually.

    She was recently diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy and while we saw it coming for months, I really haven't had a chance to mourn.  I know what it's like to try and keep it together while you just wan to breakdown and cry.  I think it's okay to let it out, God knows I've had many episodes and believe it or not...it helps.

     My DD was also diagnosed with Auditory Nueropathy, she's been wearing hearing aids for about 5 months and we've seen great improvement.  Will your DD get hearing aids? 

    Please feel free to PM if you want to just vent/talk/whatever. 

    [url=http://isabellamiraclebaby.blogspot.com/]Life with Isabella [/url]

    Our miracle was born at 24 weeks, weighing 1lb 7oz.
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