Family pushing disposables

awolchko

My husband and I are TTC and a few nights ago at a family BBQ I mentioned that I would like to cloth diaper. I thought my mother-in-law would be supportive of the idea because she used cloth diapers for her children even when disposables became available. Once I mentioned that I had been reading up on how bad disposables were for the environment she started telling me that they blow that information out of proportion and that my baby is more likely to have diaper rash in cloth diapers( I have read the opposite is true.) She was actually quite rude about it and kept shaking her head and rolling her eyes whenever I would offer a statistic etc. I never realized she had such strong opinions about this and had I known I would've kept it to myself until baby was here. Now that the cat's out of the bag how do I handle these rude remarks?

Froggy76

Honestly, who cares what she thinks?  Just do what you want.  I'm lucky that my family knows better than to question my decisions (because they'll get an earful), but I just don't see why her opinion matters here.

Don't talk about it with her and if she brings it up again, tell her you've made your decision and move on.  When she babysits, she can use disposables.

My mom also thinks CDs cause diaper rash because she tried them on my brother and had issues.  However, my DD has not had a single diaper rash in 6 months.

erniebufflo

Welcome to parenthood! For every single choice you make, there will be people in your life who disagree and question it. How you feed your baby, how your baby sleeps, how you diaper your baby, how you handle your baby's healthcare...you just have to learn when to argue and when you just need to smile and say, "Thanks for your concern, but this is what we think is best for our child." Lots of people have questioned my cloth diaper decision. But, at the end of the day, I'm the one changing all the diapers, and it's my choice.

robinbirdaz

Just don't discuss it with her/others.  It's your decision, you'll be changing and washing the diapers so their opinion really does not matter.  My mom is supportive of me using cloth, however when DD goes to her house for a sleepover I send disposables.  My mom just doesn't want to deal with the cloth, and I can respect that.  She cloth diapered me 30 years ago, and doesn't really want to deal with them now.  It works out, because I am picky about how the diapers are used/stored/washed etc   Plus, I appreciate her taking DD every now and then so I get a break, the least I can do is make it easier on her by buying a pack of disposable diapers! Cheapest babysitter in town LOL.

awolchko

I should clarify. I don't mind that she disagrees with me. I expect unsolicited advice and opinions. My inquiry is how to respond in a way that gets the point(my baby, my decisions) across without seeming rude. 

erniebufflo

awolchko:

I should clarify. I don't mind that she disagrees with me. I expect unsolicited advice and opinions. My inquiry is how to respond in a way that gets the point(my baby, my decisions) across without seeming rude. 

You could say something like, "I hear you, and you may be right, but this is something we really want to try. We will see if it works out, but we hope it does."

kacelle

erniebufflo:

awolchko:

I should clarify. I don't mind that she disagrees with me. I expect unsolicited advice and opinions. My inquiry is how to respond in a way that gets the point(my baby, my decisions) across without seeming rude. 

You could say something like, "I hear you, and you may be right, but this is something we really want to try. We will see if it works out, but we hope it does."

I wouldn't say this, because she absolutely will not be right.  The research isn't blown out of proportion and cloth diapers do not cause more diaper rashes than disposables.

OP, my mom laughed and told me I'd be over CDing in 3 weeks.  Now that it's been over a year and I'm still raving about them, she doesn't like to talk about it.   

dairygirl19

Ignore, Ignore, Ignore. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Again.

Somethings just aren't worth the arguement or justification. Your kid. Your rules end of story. Esp. when it's something harmless that comes down to personal preference (like CDing or formula feeding).

If you feel she needs a response just say, "Thanks for the info. I'll keep it in the back of my mind for future consideration." Some people just like to feel validated and listened to and that response makes them feel loved and at the end of the day you don't have to give it a second thought!

cmhicklin

One of my aunts thinks I am crazy because I am getting into CDing (a little late in the game!). My goal is to 100% CD our future kids.  I think that a lot of people HAD to CD, and don't understand how modern CDing is.  I plan to take some and show her next time I visit.  Right now I only have some BG 4.0s.  It goes on as easy as a disposable, the only difference is that I have to stuff it and wash it instead of throw it away. 

pixy_stix

I once said to MIL (on another subject), "You have the right to your opinion, but until you can back it up with statistically accurate information I will keep on telling you that you are wrong and *why* you are wrong." ::shrug:: She still loves me, we just don't get into debates very often. :oD

Listen, either you have to be a b!tch about it and people shut up, or you have to ignore and just keep on listening to it without a peep. It's up to you to decide what to do, but you are going to get some very stupid comments from people. I can tell you right now that 99.9% of what people are going to tell you against cloth diapering is wrong.

punkrockabye

I've been really surprised with how our families have taken it. DH's aunt is 70 and she just said she used cloth without a problem on her kids and only suggested that we not feel bad about using an occasional disposable if we need to. My stepmom never even batted an eye, she just asked why the covers on my registry were "so expensive" because she thought they were a one time use thing! haha.

If anyone actually gets snotty about it, I'll let them know that if they want to pay for us to use disposables, we'll gladly use disposables, but other than that we want to spend our money on cloth. I mean, I'd probably consider sposies if someone offered to pay for every single one of them!

TeamM678

I'd just ask if they are going to pay the hundreds of dollars you will spend over two years every few months on disposable. I found no one argues or criticizes my I'm going with cloth this time to save money stance. Maybe if you present it as less of an environment issue & more a smart savings issue. But when it comes down to it ignore their rude comments & know your doing whats best for you. Once you are pregnant you will deal with plenty of unwanted advice & opinions best to grow a thick skin now. Good luck.

TeamM678

erniebufflo:

Welcome to parenthood! For every single choice you make, there will be people in your life who disagree and question it. How you feed your baby, how your baby sleeps, how you diaper your baby, how you handle your baby's healthcare...you just have to learn when to argue and when you just need to smile and say, "Thanks for your concern, but this is what we think is best for our child." Lots of people have questioned my cloth diaper decision. But, at the end of the day, I'm the one changing all the diapers, and it's my choice.

So very well put! 

loyaboya

What everyone else said.

Unfortunately, before the baby gets here, people for some reason seem to think they get to make rude comments about your decisions.  You think this is bad, just wait till you're pregnant and she asks what LO's name will be But It gets better once the baby is here. People use their manners more and just make the rude comments behind your back

But as far as the diapering, I remember just telling people that cding was something I was interested in trying and if it didn't work then that was fine.  Now we've been going strong for... almost 8 months I guess.  Easy peasy. Plus my husband thinks I'm brilliant. So don't stress it.Good luck!

L0L0

I just rolled my eyes and moved on to a new topic, both about cd and natural childbirth. Now that I've conquered both, I have some street cred and people don't get on my case constantly. It's very annoying to have people you care about actively rooting for your failure to parent the way you want to.