Getting really frustrated...

peachmuffins

with all the phone calls and texts. I really understand that people care about me and want to know what's going on but it's making me feel really crowded and just making me fret more about when/if I'll go into labor. I turned off my phone for most of today, which will probably hurt more than help because now i'm sure people will be convinced i'm in labor or something... but it was a nice vacation from being bothered. 

Another thing that's bothering me is my SIL keeps updating her facebook page about my pregnancy. I've brought it up to her before but she's young (19) and kind of in her own lala land and does it anyways. I don't ever really talk about my pregnancy on facebook because... well I don't have anything to say about it and I feel like posting stuff in a public place like FB is inviting the world to be involved and invitations like that can backfire. I'm naturally just a very private person and understand people who want to share things on FB... i'm just not one of them.

 Well SIL posted to all one million trillion of her friends the hospital I'll be delivering at, which bothered me because I REALLY don't want people to just show up if they know where I am, which will go hand in hand with... I am going to have to have a serious talk about her about not posting ANYTHING AT ALL on facebook when I do go into labor and deliver because 1) that is my news to tell and 2) people probably will invite themselves. I know she's not being malicious, I know she's excited but I'm going to have to put my foot down or she's not going to be called until after the baby is born, which sucks because she still lives with MIL and FIL, and if one isn't invited they all won't be and I'm very close to MIL. Her telling what hospital I will be at just bugs the crap out of me. All the important people in my life know where I'll be, there's no need to tell the rest of the world.

 The third thing that's bothering me is that one of my MIL's friends threw me one of my baby showers and she's acting like that gets her a ringside seat to my vagina when my son comes out. I feel like throwing a baby shower for someone is a gift you give them because you care, not leverage for being at the birth of the baby. The only people that I am ok with being there (and not even for the pushing and delivery, that's for me and SO only) are my in-laws and my parents. When I told my MIL's friend that she was like "you'll change your mind!" and calls me 3x a day to see how i'm doing and i feel like a witch but I let her go to voicemail, she also comes to visit me at work (I work for MIL) at least 2x a day and always says she feels like it's her grandbaby too (not just MIL's i guess?)

Anyways I have my OB appt. tomorrow so we'll see if i've progressed at all and probably set an induction date for a week after my EDD.

Thanks for letting me vent. I know in the grand scheme of things I am lucky to have people who care and a healthy pregnancy, I'm just really close to hitting my limit.  

 

 

thatoneredhead

Ugh Im sorry. I have a very close-knit, (literally) all female family and feel encroached upon as well and its so irritating.

I would stand my ground on visitors. Your nurses can help. I work in a hospital and a simple "No Visitors Please" on the door does wonders. I see it constantly. There is no rest for the weary in the hospital and I wouldnt put up with it for a second.

And that lady has big cajones to even ask if she can be there. Im sorry!

With facebook, I was really worried about my 16yo cousin so I just went ahead and appointed her facebook updater, but on my account and nothing too personal. It lets me not worry about the first pic of my kid being on her page, lets me totally ignore facebook, and yet have everyone updated too. I love it.

Meery82

Yeah, I would totally lay down the law on these people. If possible, try to give as little amount of info to Facebook Girl as possible. And definitely notify the front desk of the maternity ward that you do not want any visitors. They will respect your wishes. I'm not sure it's an option at the hospital you will be delivering at, but the hospital that I work in has an option where you make yourself what is called an opt out. That is where if anyone calls to ask about you or your room number, they tell them that they have no record of you being there and give away no information. The only people who will know you are there are the ones you tell personally. And the MIL friend sounds totally insane. I would ignore her and quit answering her calls. Also, make sure your MIL does not call her when you go into labor. That is a task you can pass off on your husband if you are uncomfortable with it, since it's his mother. Good luck with all the crazies!!

KrissyMiss

peachmuffins:

she's acting like that gets her a ringside seat to my vagina when my son comes out.

LMAO! Thanks for that. My policy is: If you weren't there when LO was concieved, you won't be there when LO comes out (unless of course you're the doc or nurse). I'd be annoyed by this woman too.

khill86

I feel smothered, too. Especially by my mother. We have never been close and talked less than once each week. As soon as I finished work and went to the cottage she started texting daily: let me know when you get there, how are you feeling, let me know when you're home. Well we came home 2 days early because I developed some serious back pain a couple days after getting there and chose to downplay it to everyone except DH. After a week, I decided I needed to go home. I figured it was "normal" back pain but started hoping it was a kidney infection because at least then I could do something about it! After sobbing in bed, DH decided we should go to the hospital to get it checked out and just as I feared - normal. I let my sister in on the situation because I'm MOH in her wedding in two weeks and am seriously considering leaving after the ceremony and wanted her to have fair warning. Well, since my sister knows about my relationship with our mom, I assumed she wouldn't. Say anything - she did. Now my mom is on me about my back pain: where is the pain, is it my spine, is it my kidneys, what did they say at the hospital, is the baby coming early, what did the OB say, how is it today, etc etc etc. But somehow, she still insists that I be at her house at 7am the day of my sister's wedding so she can make breakfast. Ughhhh. I've been ignoring her all day.

Also, about facebook - I don't even have FB but  BIL's girlfriend (that I hate) does and she has posted pictures with me in them without my permission. I plan on being upfront with her the first time she meets the baby. She is not to post pictured of him on FB and in fact, I don't want her taking any pictures of him at all. I doubt she'll listen and think I'm just being a *** as usual, but that is one thing I will not tolerate.

AND how dare your MIL's friend assume she even gets a phone call let alone a close up view of your baby's birth? I'd be clear about that real quick. We aren't having any visitors at the hospital and won't be making phone calls until we're home with the baby, assuming everything goes well. We told our families our plan and let them know it was non-negotiable, so they could save any protests they had. This was after DH's grandmother told his 10 year old sister she could watch the baby being born. Yeah right! No one was there when the baby was conceived, no one needs to be there when he's born. End of story!

beck8008

you should try to set an auto reply and voicemail that says something like "no updates yet, but we'll be sure to let everyone know when labor starts"

thatoneredhead

beck8008:

you should try to set an auto reply and voicemail that says something like "no updates yet, but we'll be sure to let everyone know when labor starts"

Nice  ::thumbs up::