Dartboard approach to choosing a protocol? Fair or a cop out?

AmCheri

Do you think that's there's such little predictability in response that you might as well throw a dart and see where it lands on a dartboard? My RE has used this analogy with us. Is it fair, or is it passing the buck?

After three attempts and only making it to ER once, where do we turn? Do we stick with what worked once (note the same protocol failed miserably most recently), or do we shake it up?  

I'm starting to think that trying with my OE again is a waste of time.  Or is something different, perhaps MDLF, worth considering?

I honestly don't know how to have a conversation with my RE given his dartboard approach.  If we're that I'll informed and have that little control, why bother with a fourth try? 

 

Edwina.McDunnough

After 6 attemtps and a lot of discussion with a lot of REs, I'd say the actual protocol doesn't matter so much as long as it's appropriately aggressive and the RE is stimming you to your best advantage. All protocols can be handled many different ways, so the actual meds used is less important than HOW they are used, and how your RE reacts to your own response. Which can vary a lot on it's own. It's a combination of how well you will respond on that specific cycle and how well your RE can make the most of what you're bringing to the table. Moving targets suck. I got the impression from some REs that they mix up the protocol to make the patient feel better about the cycle as much as anything else.

We bother with more tries because for many it's just a matter of attempts and because moving on to DE is expensive and requires a lot of letting go.

Re Dartboard, I would be unhappy about that as being the mode of selection. You have options, some better than others, and it shouldn't be a completely random decision. Some bad cycles have clearer weakpoints.

AmCheri

Edwina.McDunnough:

We bother with more tries because for many it's just a matter of attempts and because moving on to DE is expensive and requires a lot of letting go.

 

It's the letting go part that I'm struggling with. Just when I think I'm ok with it, something triggers me and I'm not ok with it in a pretty profound way. 

He's not going to use a protocol that's not indicated for a crappy responder -- I know that much.  Aside from that, he really doesn't seem to care which protocol we go with.  I hear what you're saying Edwina, and it makes sense and seems consistent with my RE's thoughts.  I guess his apathy shouldn't be seen as a problem because of the realities of the situation.  

Edwina.McDunnough

We researched DE programs for a year before we had our Sucktastic Cycles and it was STILL hard to let go. It's a process and you just need to know that you're not alone with this struggle and many people continue to have conflicted feelings even while they are cycling with DE. And I'm assured, not after that BFP.

Is his apathy just a personality flaw or because he's flummoxed? C.ornell as far as I experienced, would cycle me forever and had more approaches than we were able or willing to do emotionally or financially, and other clinics had even more options. But none seemed particularly better, just different, and most conversations ended with, we never really know if a successful cycle was a result of luck over anything else. They don't know crack.

Regardless, your RE should feel up for the challenge. If they just want easy patients they aren't helping you out.

AmCheri

Edwina.McDunnough:

We researched DE programs for a year before we had our Sucktastic Cycles and it was STILL hard to let go. It's a process and you just need to know that you're not alone with this struggle and many people continue to have conflicted feelings even while they are cycling with DE. And I'm assured, not after that BFP.

Is his apathy just a personality flaw or because he's flummoxed? C.ornell as far as I experienced, would cycle me forever and had more approaches than we were able or willing to do emotionally or financially, and other clinics had even more options. But none seemed particularly better, just different, and most conversations ended with, we never really know if a successful cycle was a result of luck over anything else. They don't know crack.

Regardless, your RE should feel up for the challenge. If they just want easy patients they aren't helping you out.

Thanks Edwina.  You've been very helpful. It sure does feel lonely though, doesn't it?

Our WTF is scheduled.  I'll let you know what he says. He's definitely not shy about dealing with hard cases.  Locally, other REs send their challenging patients to him, so I'm confident he's not flummoxed.  Your observation about a flawed personality trait is right on.  I know he'll let us go as long as we like -- or so I've been told by my primary nurse.

 I think we're being called in because he owes us the DE speech.  After all, the goal is building a family.  He wants that for us and DE would definitely be the quickest way. I really think the WTF (that he called) is for nothing more than the purpose of informed consent moving forward. Least, I hope that's all it is. 

Edwina.McDunnough

It sort of slipped my mind where you were cycling at, but it all went "a-HA" right now. I'll take creative and thoughtful thinking over bedside manner, but it still sort of stinks. Good luck with your meeting. I really wish this was easier.

It's even lonelier with a failed DE cycle. But that's a whole other story. Sort of like Highlander.

 

vanessagorc

I agree w edwina.  I did 3 diff protocols, but had about the same response each time.  

lynn0926

As you know, there is no way of predicting how your body will respond until you try. All you can do is give it a go, but keep yourself mentally prepared for anything. If you are struggling with the emotions of DE, give your OE another try. DE will always be here and ready for you should you choose to go the DE route. Your feelings are completely normal too. Even now that I am about to begin, I have a wide range of emotions and thoughts.