TTC after 35

OT- Hosting a bridal shower question

Totally OT, but trying to keep distracted from what I'm pretty sure will be a bfn and obsessing over saving more money for potential ivf cycle this summer.

My best friend is getting married at the end of Sept, she has an extremely small family and one sister who lives a 5hr plane ride away. I've known her since we were kids and shes like a sister to me. I was planning on throwing a shower for her since there really isn't anyone in her family to do it, I spoke to her fiancee last weekend to mention it, he said he thought it was a good idea however they aren't planning on registering anywhere. I kind of pushed him on the topic and he said there's no way my friend would agree to registering (and I totally agree she prob wouldn't).

Have any of you gone to a bridal shower sans gift giving? Isn't the gift part kind of the whole point? I'm also stressed that I'd be paying solo for this and can't really afford it right now. I'm wondering if I should scrap the shower and throw a bachelorette instead? What do you all think?

 

nate and teddy
Me 41 DH 46  Not actively ttc, surprise BFP on 1/6/11! 4/1/11 m/c our sunshine at 16wks after complications from CVS test. TTC #2 **5th cycle 12/6/11 BFP! Missed m/c at 9 weeks 1/21/12, trisomy 14. Two Chemical PG 3/12&7/12
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Re: OT- Hosting a bridal shower question

  • I didn't want to register and my mom made me.

    I would go to a bridal shower without gifts-- or small gifts, like a spa day gift certificate or a coupon for free help with wedding gift assembly or something like that. And I would have no problem with a potluck shower either. It's about being a friend to the bride, so paying for/making food would be just as easy/less expensive than buying a set of dishes...

    Just my thoughts...

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  • A bridal party sans gifts plus the expense being all on you....ehh, I would def vote for the Bachelorette Party. She still gets gifts (fun ones) and the expense is not on you.

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  • Since she has such a small family, I'm taking it you would be inviting her friends to this shower? Are they your friends, too? If I had a friend getting married and she didn't have a bridal party to plan these events, I'm certain my friends & I would at least have a pot luck shower for her. 

    I'm in the camp where people are going to be getting you a gift anyway, so why not pick something you need/want....not registering is silly.

      


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  • It will be all friends, but I was kind of counting on the ladies to pull together the bachlorette and i'd do the shower. One friend has agreed to host it because she has a nice backyard, a rarity in NYC. I was thinking potluck or byob would be the way to go. I've given her the lecture that people are going to buy her a gift one way or the other even if she doesn't register but she's an odd bird when it comes to that stuff.

    Her sister is getting married this weekend and only had a bachlorette. My friend didn't mention anything about the absence of a shower ect, so I'm kind of guessing she might not care. I might just ask her if she even wants to have one, or just the bachelorette.

    nate and teddy
    Me 41 DH 46  Not actively ttc, surprise BFP on 1/6/11! 4/1/11 m/c our sunshine at 16wks after complications from CVS test. TTC #2 **5th cycle 12/6/11 BFP! Missed m/c at 9 weeks 1/21/12, trisomy 14. Two Chemical PG 3/12&7/12
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  • I vote bachelorette party.  If it is a pub crawl or something like that, people will expect to pay their own way and there isn't the pressure of brining a gift.  However, she may really want a bridal shower.  In that case, you would need to do something creative so that it did not cost too much money.
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  • BabyVDMBabyVDM member

    I just got married last summer for the first time.  I did not have a bridal shower and I was sooooo relieved.  I didn't want to have to deal with all that.

    To be honest I only registered because someone kept pestering me about where I had registered so she could get us a gift.  But, DH and I both had established households, completely furnished and with all the things we needed, and wanted (in duplicate), so I was reluctant to recieve any household gifts.  To satisfy people we registered a few things, but then said gift cards to home depot or cash towards honeymoon were ideal.  It worked out for us. 

    I had a fantastic Bachelorette party though, and that was great, maybe you could pool your resources and funds for one big freaking night out, and cut loose.

     P

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  • AbeilleAbeille member

    When I got married, I had a bachelorette party/lingerie shower.  We didn't have a registry, but we made good use of the lingerie. 

    It's great you have a location available if you go the traditional route...that saves money right there.

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  • TisharpTisharp member
    imageAbeille:

    When I got married, I had a bachelorette party/lingerie shower.  We didn't have a registry, but we made good use of the lingerie. 

    It's great you have a location available if you go the traditional route...that saves money right there.

    That's what I was going to suggest.  Around here, they call it a "Personal Shower" and it's fun.


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  • When I got married, I had a bachelorette party/lingerie shower.  We didn't have a registry, but we made good use of the lingerie. 

    I like this idea ALOT! I think my friend would actually appreciate this more and we can schedule it closer to her wedding date which gives me alot more time to plan! 

     

    nate and teddy
    Me 41 DH 46  Not actively ttc, surprise BFP on 1/6/11! 4/1/11 m/c our sunshine at 16wks after complications from CVS test. TTC #2 **5th cycle 12/6/11 BFP! Missed m/c at 9 weeks 1/21/12, trisomy 14. Two Chemical PG 3/12&7/12
    ** BFP 8/16/12 beta #1 148! beta#2 407 beta #3 4000 u/s 9.10 1 lovely hb 126, Baby Boy is due 04/28/13!!
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  • How about a Honeymoon Shower..My bf and went to one last year and it was lots of fun.  We had games, food and a good time.  You can invite the friends and family and they would just bring a card with money and help pay for their honeymoon. If you look online you might be able to find more info on Honeymoon Shower.  

    :o)  Good Luck 

  • MrsTRAVMrsTRAV member
    I can't say that i've ever been to a shower without gifts.  You might want to try an afternoon tea or batchelorette party, just so she can have a little get together with friends before the big day. 

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  • imageyounmebabe12:

    How about a Honeymoon Shower..My bf and went to one last year and it was lots of fun.  We had games, food and a good time.  You can invite the friends and family and they would just bring a card with money and help pay for their honeymoon. If you look online you might be able to find more info on Honeymoon Shower.  

    :o)  Good Luck 

     I think this is a great idea!

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