2 under 2... terrified!

mtm0109

Well DH and I found out this past weekend we are pregnant with #2. Our DS is only 5 months old! Anyone else had their first be this young with a second on the way?

DS will be 1 on January 7th and #2 expected due date is 1/31/2013.  

We were planning on TTC'ing this fall because we wanted our children close in age... but it happened a little earlier than expected.

I am terrified and slightly overwhelmed.. I wanted more time with DS before #2 came along. Im sure these are all my emotions coming out... but I know in the end they will be the best of friends growing up together, right?

  

tailanis

You and I are in the same boat I am terrified too but looking forward to it at the same time. I have been told it's a lot of work but very rewarding.

sxyhrdrssr

First off- hi:) those feelings are completely natural! Ds2 was much earlier than we expected but now that he is here, I wouldn't trade the age difference for anything. I felt so guilty for ds1, but now that ds2 is here, I realize he will never get the one on one with both mom and dad like ds1 did. It is nice going through the tiring first trimester with a young in bc you can nap while he naps and you aren't chasing after him yet either! Once lO2 arrives, I highly recommend using a carrier so you are hands free. It's tough in the beginning, but so worth it! My last thought- when you finally decide to break the news, don't let anyone rain on your parade. We made sure everyone knew that this LO is just as loved and wanted as the first, so it dispelled any comments about being planned/surprised. We told ppl he was planned and we wanted them close together. It really is none of their business, but he was just earlier than we had planned. Good luck! There are several ppl on FB with 2 u 2 that will be willing to assist with advice as well!

kcisthebombdotcom

That's pretty much the exact spacing we had. My kids' birthdays are 12 months and 3 weeks apart.

I love the whole experience of having them this close together. When I was in 1st tri and beyond exhausted, my older child was still taking 3-4 naps a day so I got a ton of rest. In 3rd tri, he was still of the age where I could plop him in bed next to me with a lot of toys and he would be entertained. When the baby came, he had recently mastered walking so he was far more interested in exploring his newfound freedom to care there was a new baby getting lots of attention. He wasn't jealous at all and blissfully unaware of the huge change in his life. Now that they're both toddlers, they're best buddies and play together well.

It's really been a great experience overall. Sure, there's been moments (and weeks) I've wanted to pull all the hair out of my head, but the good moments far outweigh the bad ones.
GL and congrats!

NCMichelle

I promise that it's not too bad!!! Mine are 14 months apart.  It's a little crazy at the beginning but once you find your groove, it gets a lot better!  

kagl08

My 2 are 13.5 months apart. We absolutely love the spacing!! It was hard until around 5 months for us. DS was planned and we still were freaked out. The anticipation of 2u2 is much worse than the reality!!

When I was pregnant my 1st was still taking 2 naps a day and I slept when she slept. She wasn't walking until 13 months, so there was no running after a toddler when pregnant. She never noticed her brother coming into our home and accepted him whole-heartedly. There was no jealousy, barely any acting out, she never noticed mommy's attention not being soley on her. If we were having 3 (which we aren't) we would have tried for this spacing again. Now that DS is 8 months, crawling and DD is almost 2 and entertains him I actually am getting projects done! Like we are remodeling our home and I can mow the grass during naptime again. It's getting a ton easier and I love this spacing more and more every day.

morgs8384

Congratulations!

I am in the same boat as you. We had planned on having them 2U2, but not necessarily this close ( 13 months apart). We figured it would take awhile to get pregnant again since we had to seek out an RE for DS.

In the beginning of the second pregnancy, I had a LOT of mixed emotions. I think it was hard to picture having another baby, when your LO is such a baby still. But now, as the EDD is approaching, DS is almost a toddler and I cannot WAIT to have another baby in the house. 

I am terrified of the sleepless nights, and worried I will never see the light of day again once DS #2 is here. But reading posts from other ladies on this board has helped ease my fears. 

Good luck!!

laura1

Mine are 15 months apart (DS was 7.5 months when I got my BFP), and I love it.  Especially now - they are best friends.  We went away this weekend, and they had a great time playing with each other at the beach, and kept each other entertained in the car.  They still are on the same schedule - one nap a day, although DS mostly does quiet time now, so we all get a break.  

Honestly, for me it was far harder adding baby #1 to the mix than it was going from 1-2.  I hope you have a similar experience! 

mtm0109

Thank you soooo much ladies!!!!!!!!!

Glad we are all in this.  

I am very worried about what people will say! But Oh well! 

danienicole99

I am so completely thankful I found this board! You can't even imagine how much of a relief I had after reading all these posts (ok, you probably can imagine). I am 18 weeks along in my 2nd pregnancy, I have the most amazing (almost) 10 month old as well. He is my complete world and when I found out I was pregnant again, so soon, I honestly didn't know what to think. I wasn't happy and excited like I was with him, I've felt so many emotions and I've felt so completely alone in this situation even though I'm well aware of the fact that I'm obviously not the first lady to go through this lol. To sum it up, I am completely terrified!. I had a meltdown yesterday at my OBgyn appt and am going to see a counselor to help me through some of the issues I'm having. I think this board and all of the ladies with all of their encouraging words will be a tremendous help for me!!

kcisthebombdotcom

danienicole99:

I am so completely thankful I found this board! You can't even imagine how much of a relief I had after reading all these posts (ok, you probably can imagine). I am 18 weeks along in my 2nd pregnancy, I have the most amazing (almost) 10 month old as well. He is my complete world and when I found out I was pregnant again, so soon, I honestly didn't know what to think. I wasn't happy and excited like I was with him, I've felt so many emotions and I've felt so completely alone in this situation even though I'm well aware of the fact that I'm obviously not the first lady to go through this lol. To sum it up, I am completely terrified!. I had a meltdown yesterday at my OBgyn appt and am going to see a counselor to help me through some of the issues I'm having. I think this board and all of the ladies with all of their encouraging words will be a tremendous help for me!!

It's great that you're getting to a counselor if you're feeling depressed about what you're about to undertake.

A good mentality to have (and I learned from this board) is not to focus on what your child will lose (like your undivided attention) but to focus on what he will gain (a sibling to share lifelong experiences with). The relationship between your children will likely be longer than the one you will share with your children. When you get up there in age and tough decisions have to be made, your child will have a sibling to lean on and help through those times. You're giving your son a wonderful gift. Don't forget that.

UrnAsh

Congrats!

jas9210

I am in the exact same spot as you!! I just got a very surprising BFP today and my son is 5 1/2 months! He will be 1 on Dec. 20th and this baby i believe is due Feb 8. We were also planning on TTC this fall. I, too, wanted more time with my son and do feel a little bad that he won't get as much mommy and daddy time as i though he would.

But then I got thinking how close they will be and be able to play together. My son doesn't have any cousins or anyone his age (and I don't think this one will either) so I am happy that they will be so close. It will be a challenge but I can honestly say I am very excited!

mtm0109

You ladies seriously rock!

I had my first appointment today.. and Im 5 weeks along, EDD January 31st! ?

Go back in 4 weeks, I can do this! We can all do this! I keep reminding myself it is going to be great for my son and future son or daughter. They will be forever friends and close  

Elocin

I am so happy to have found this board! I just got a BFP last night, and my EDD is Feb 3rd. My daughter will be 21 months when this LO is born. I was so upset last night about not being able to give her more of me. Honestly, I'm tearing up at work right now thinking about how incredible she is. Whoever posted upthread about thinking about the lifetime of a sibling you're going to give them has made me feel so much better (and ridiculously emotional).

Quiverfull Momma

Our 6th blessing was born Oct 25, 2007 and our 7th blessing was born Oct 1, 2008.  They are the best of friends, and bonded well right from the start.  Had miscarriage between #7 and #8 or they would've been 12months apart too:)  Instead #8 came 20 months later, and those two just aren't as close.  However, #9 came only 14 months after #8 and they are really close too:)  #10 is also going to be 14 months behind #9 and I'm excited, because I know the babies will bond with each other well again.  You can do this mommas, and your babies will love having a playmate almost their own age!

nikkivonnekro

Mine wont be as close in age but im right in the same point. I only have 2 monthes left to be prepared!

Eamonmomma

Ours are going to be about 12.5 months apart and #2 was TOTALLY unplanned!  In the beginning, I was so upset and angry, but now that I have been on this board for awhile (I am a major lurker!) I feel so much better!  Now I am starting to get excited about having two so close together, especially when I read about how happy other moms are with the age gap.  I am less concerned about the first few tough months now that I can look forward to years and years of having essentially best friends living under the same roof!  Thanks for the help, ladies!  You never know which little comment you make helps some mother out there finally get excited about her baby!

hermioneorourke

You are very much not alone.  Just got a BFP today and I really don't know what to do!  I'm really, really happy, but I'm also terrified about what to expect.  My time, DD1's time, finances, and more.  I just feel so overwhelmed right now that I can't seem to get excited.  Maybe once I tell DH, it'll sink in more. 

What makes this all even stranger is that the doctors said we couldn't get pregnant, then we had DD naturally, now almost 6 months later - BFP #2!  

December192009

You'll be fine and yes, they will be the best playmates! I have three under 2 1/2. It is hard - and this is one of those few quiet moments I get about once per week when they all tucker out for a nap at the same time. However, it is an absolute joy to watch them interact. My my oldest son calls the youngest "my baby" and my youngest son is constantly giving the baby hugs and kisses. The two oldest children are 11 months and 3 weeks apart. They play together all of the time, and are better playmates than I could have imagined.

It can be overwhelming, exhausting, and I would be lying if I didn't say my patience wasn't stretched to the max - constantly lol but it is also lots of fun and a relief for me to know that they will always have each other. Between my husband and I, it is all hands on deck all the time - plus help from sitters and grandmas b/c I still work during the school year. GL!!