Babies on the Brain

Almost Newly Weds Need Advice :)

My Hubby to be and I have been together about 6 1/2 years, Our wedding is in September and by then we will be just shy of 7 years! I have had babies on the brain since we got engaged about 2 years ago, is it so wrong to start trying right after the wedding? I have had alot of negative and very little positive from some people about it I have always wanted kids and I am so excited that we are getting close to being able to have a family. We are both employed full time and have lived together for over 3 years, we are renting now but would love to buy a house now that we know around what area we can settle down in based on our jobs. Yes we are young, we will both be 23 by the time we are married which is why  think we get so much negative feedback. I want a family more then anything, we do have concerns with endometriosis so only time will tell but I dont want to wait. Any helpful advice would be lovely!

Re: Almost Newly Weds Need Advice :)

  • Brice16Brice16 member

    i think starting a family is yours and future hubby's choice to make.Nobody else needs to have a say in the matter,if you and FI think your ready then thats and my FI plan on starting soon and we arent getting married for atleast another year.i think it all depends on your personal preferences.

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  • I was 23 when I got married and we got pregnant on our honeymoon. It wasn't planned but we knew it was a possibility because we don't believe in birth control and were using natural family planning. My son is incredible and I love being a mom!

    With that said, I would have really  liked to have even 6 months as just a married couple. 6 weeks after our wedding I started puking and didn't stop until 20 weeks. It kind of puts a damper on the honeymoon phase. We had a 2.5 month old on our first anniversary which really limited what we could do. My marriage is very strong despite the rough beginning.

    Its up to you and your fiance if you want to start your family soon, this was just my experience. 

    DS1: 4/15/2011
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    BFP #2: CP 5/2012
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  • My husband and I are recently married (October 1, 2011) and we have also been together for almost 7 years. I have been wanting to have a baby now for about 4 years, but my husband has been very reluctant up until a few months ago (February). No one can really answer this question for you, it is all up to you and your husband. I am 22 and my husband is 25, and we are currently TTC, BUT we have not discussed this with anyone. We pay our own bills, we have a house, and we want a family. So IMO it doesnt matter what other people think. WE are ready and that is what matters. You can not let others' opinions affect your life decisions. FYI, people are not always going to support you. My BFF does not support my decision to TTC right now, but she is also not in the same situation I am and therefore I don't think she fully understands what I am feeling.

    On another note though, I will say married life is amazing. And I have extremely enjoyed having my husband all to myself for these 7 months... BUT I am definitely ready for a baby! And also, your not a teenager anymore, you are an adult. It would be totally different if you were 18 and getting married straight out of high school...

    If you ever need to rant or just want to talk to someone who has been in a similar situation as yourself, feel free to PM me. 

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  • I think that if both you and your husband are on board, then go for it. 

    My husband and I have been together for seven and a half years, and we just got married last August. I've been eager for a baby since day one (probably before that) but he's been adamant that he wants to wait until after our first anniversary to start trying. We had a heart to heart about it a few weeks ago because I keep pestering him about babies, haha. 

    His point was this- (and this might be different for you, because we didn't live together before we got married) we only have so much time to just be together as a couple, because it won't be the same when we're parents. I realized he was right. We're both very family oriented and want nothing more than to be parents- we don't really go out and party it up. But there are little things that I realized I'd miss- being able to stay in bed all day watching movies. Being able to pick up and go on an all day road trip. Hell, walking around my apartment in my underwear and eating nothing but ice cream and french fries for dinner. I'm kind of happy he talked me into a few more months of being able to be irresponsible. 

    I guess the point of my rambling is that there is nothing wrong with getting pregnant right after your wedding. Especially since you guys have lived together for so long, you've had plenty of "you" time. But you are still young and have plenty of time, so don't put tons of pressure on yourself. A little time to enjoy being married isn't a bad thing. 

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  • If my friend or sister was asking me this, I would suggest waiting at least 6 months before you start trying. DH and I will have been married for 3 years in September, we've been together for more than 6 years, and we started TTC this year. We got married young too-- both of us were 22-- and I also have endo, so I completely understand your concerns about fertility.

    But, I do think it is nice for newlyweds to have some time to themselves as well. On the off chance you do get pregnant right away, you will have very little time to adjust to being husband and wife (and it is a different relationship than a dating one). Spend time together setting up your house and just enjoying being alone together without needing to think about anything else. Six months will fly by anyways, and if you find you're both ready then, I'd say go for it Smile

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    12/1999: Dx with Endometriosis (age 12)
    5/2001: Ruptured appendix, massive scar tissue
    6/2005:Dx with Interstitial Cystitis
    9/2005: Gall bladder removed due to problems from cysts
    7/2006: Officially Dx with Fibromyalgia (age 18)
    2/2010: Partial left ovarian torsion

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    11/2012: Surgery #5 to remove scar tissue & paratubal cyst
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  • I JUST got married on the 26th and we were planning on trying right away. We weren't trying before and I got pregnant. We were so excited, but I miscarried. After I stopped being insane and got over enough of the grief we decided we wanted to try again ASAP. My WH keeps saying that he hopes he got me pregnant on the honeymoon, but I don't think it was a time where I could yet.


    We are both 22. My family probably would have been negative if I had mentioned wanting a baby before the miscarriage but they all saw me pregnant and are really supportive of us trying again.


    If you get pregnant, they will come around. It is between you and your partner. 

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  • I say wait.

    If you are truly serious about buying a house, you should wait until after you have done that to ttc.  Get yourself pre-approved for a loan, save a down payment, save a new home fix it fund (paint, furniture, curtains, lawn mower, etc...), and set up a household emergency fund (because when your water heater floods at 3 am, it's expensive).  This takes time and energy to budget and save.  After you get this all take care of, then start ttc.

    Babies are expensive.  Couple that with lost wages due to missed work and it becomes really hard to save money.  Right now, you can start tracking you cycles and getting yourself ready to ttc. 

    Baby boy H is here! Born 2/1/2014 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Mysterious_wife: "And for the love of all things that sparkle, remove your last name" on BOTB.
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