3 days overdue and emotionally crushed..
While me and the BF are not married nor engaged, and our situation wasn't planned for, we were making the best of it and are currently living together.
I know all people have a past. He has an exwife with whom he has 2 children and only 1 other serious ex gf, who he dated for 2 years.
Today we went out with a group of friends, had a really great time. Came back home, he was pretty liquored up, so I'll admit, I took advantage of his liquid honesty. Becuase at times, he can be pretty private with his emotions and feelings. But regardless-- the talk was good. But there's just been that feeling, I couldn't shake, like something was missing...something he wasnt saying.
And Im sure most of you will scold me for this, but my human nature got the best of me, and for the first time ever, I looked through his phone. I didnt look at every message that every girl had ever written him, that wasn't my concern. It was his ex gf of 2 years..
An there it was....for the past year we had been together, he was still talking to her, sleeping with her, going out to eat with her, taking her out with his kids, saying he loved her, saying he missed her, buying her things. The most embrassing part for me to read? Was she made a comment "What about C", his response completly disregarded me, and just said he wanted to see her and be with her.
Our baby is 3 days overdue. And now, I'm a mess. I hate myself for looking, bc I don't want to remember when our daughter was born, I found out daddy was a douche. But this isn't something that I can let go.... or should I? She'll be here any day. And yes, this past month. they have finally stopped seeing each other...why? Bc SHE now has a boyfriend that shes loyal to.
Do I ask him to confess? What good will come from this right now. We just started living together( which is also prob why things ended), But I just couldn't think of worse timing. Just confused and heartbroken.
Re: 3 days overdue and emotionally crushed..
I wouldn't want to be with someone who cheated on me and the baby won't change anything .... even if his ex gf is with someone else now he will probably look for someone else ! You and your baby deserve better ! It's hard going through something like that especially when you are pregnant .... I know ! My ex dumped me because I got pregnant, he doesn't want kids and I am having twin boys ! I've posted about it on this board before ! 23 years of friendship ..... close friendship down the drain ! ugh men suck ! Hopefully everything will work out for you but don't expect the baby to fix it ! Single parenting is hard but worth it ... I know... I have a 12 year old son ! GL ... hope you figure it all out !
I'd walk away, but I'm also very confident and secure in myself. I don't need a man in my life. Right now, it's actually the last thing I want in my life. (No, not you little guy, you're coming out tomorrow whether you like it or not.) the hardest thing to explain to people is a bad relationship is FAR more damaging to a child than not having two parents at home. A broken home isn't always a single parent.
Take it from someone who's been around the block a few times, once a cheater, always a cheater. There are rare cases where someone will mess up just once, but for the most part, I'm willing to bet if you look back, you'll see he's cheated on other women. And, if he'll cheat on them, he'll cheat on you.
Ok, I just re-read your post. He's been cheating on you longer than you've been pregnant. WALK AWAY. You deserve better.
If it were me I would leave him.
If having his baby isn't going to make him change his ways NOTHING will, sh!t he doesn't even sound like he wants to try to change. He would have been perfectly content with you at home with a brand new baby while he was out with some other girl. To me that is the lowest of the low.
If you do choose to stay (an no one will judge you for it, every situation and every outcome is different) you need to make the decision now if your willing to forgive him or not. If you are then you move forward from here and work through the problems. You can't use it against him every time you turn around though. If you decide to leave then make that the final decision and don't look back. Yes, it will be hard. Nothing about these type of situations is ever easy. Its better to work through the hard stuff on your own then to be miserable and devastated just for the sake of not being single.
You deserve better and so does your daughter. You need to be strong for both of you now. Its not about how much you are willing to take in your life anymore, it is now about what you will be subjecting your daughter to and she deserves better.
This - and don't feel bad that you looked at his phone, your instinct was right....How crappy of him....GL..