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my wonderful DH (repost from preemie)

kathyn21kathyn21
in Babies: 0 - 3 Months
we got into a fight overnight. i am a control freak and keep following up on him as to ensure he is doing everythign with DD my way bc that's how i do it all day long while he's at work. i am constantly correcting him and telling him to 'try' it this way or that.  he was supposed to get up and do the feeding i just finished and refused b/c of how mad he was at me. i am gonna be exhausted now and it's my own fault. please help me to step back and let him do hsi job as a daddy without me being in his face. he is such a great guy adn great daddy and i am being awful to him. thanks for your advice, prayers, etc
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Re: my wonderful DH (repost from preemie)

  • IrishsapphireIrishsapphire member

    It happens.  Both of you are still trying to figure out your roles and what works.  With my son, we actually would alternate nights with our son's feedings.  With our daughter, I have done most of the feedings because my husband takes care of our son.  But I still give my husband a chance to do feedings--I will ask him if he wants to feed the baby--that is his bonding time with our daughter.  

    It is good for him to learn how to take care of your daughter--it is not going to be perfect--maybe let him do the feeding and then say that if he needs help to ask you.  The same would go with changing diapers and learning how to work with baby when they are crying.  We use the Pampers Swaddlers diapers with wetness indicators--it makes it so easy to know if I need to change my daughter.  

    It really helps to have the extra help----your husband is helping you and both of you learn together on how to take care of baby.  

    imageimageLilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Premature Baby tickers Lilypie Premature Baby tickers image BFP on 07/18/08. Miscarriage 07/30/08. BFP 3/25/09. Confirmed second miscarriage, no heartbeat, no growth beyond 7 weeks, 5/19/09. TTC again, on baby aspirin, due to value of 23 on Anticardiolipin Antibodies. BFP 11/15/09. Brown spotting, Beta 3735 11/25/09, Beta 5602 11/28/09. Anticardiolipin Antibodies now negative, still on baby asprin. On 100 mg of Prometrium (progesterone) until 10 weeks. Good heartbeat at 1st appt. 12/16/09. Started taking fish oil. Perigestational hemorrhage and red bleeding 12/17/09. 2nd Ultrasound-8 weeks, still a heartbeat 12/17/09. Baby measured 9 weeks, still a heartbeat 12/23/09. Good NT Scan on 1/8/10, heartbeat 164. EDD 7/28/10. TEAM BLUE! Aidan Thomas born on May 26, 2010. Baby #2, BFP 11/27/11, EDD 6/5/12. TEAM PINK! Noelle Elizabeth born 4/30/12. Blessing from God, Blessing from God, Blessing from God, Blessing from God.
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  • jeffsjaymejeffsjayme

    You're going to have to give up control otherwise, you'll have to do it all yourself for all kids for the next 18 years...no one wants to parent alone.  But you know that.

    Force yourself to give up control by apologizing to him, then letting him figure out his way.  It isn't better or worse than your way - just different.  If you have to, physically leave the room or the house/apartment while he does it his way.  Take a walk, run an errand.  He won't do it perfectly at first - so what?  Baby will be okay if it takes a little longer for him to feed or soothe her.  But in the long run, you'll all 3 be better off.  The way you learned to do it was by doing it...he has to learn the same way.

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