MIL, shut the "f" up

WorkinWeezel

My SIL got engaged the February before DS was born (he was a March baby).  Ever since the engagement, my life revolved around her wedding- the shower, the registry, the wedding arrangements, the dress, how DS would be involved, my husband was "Man of Honor", etc... and it was extremely frustrating.  She got married November 2011 (so about 21 months of this).  And then got pregnant in February 2012. 

My MIL knows our struggles (as does my SIL) and yet every.single.conversation I have with my MIL revolves around SIL's pregnancy, baby shower, invitations, presents, her registry, diaper cakes, etc... and I want to tell her to shut the f*ck up.  Seriously.  I've told her a million times that it is really difficult for me sometimes, but I also follow-up with the fact that it's my issue and I don't want to take away from anyone's happiness and people shouldn't tip-toe around me.

But really, shouldn't she switch topics once in a while?  I get it.  She's excited.  Her only daughter is having a baby.  But I need a change in conversation with her or I'm going to f*cking SCREAM!!!!!!!!

PS- she NEVER asks how things around going with me.  We're close enough that she knows she can ask whenever.  I'm obviously very open about things.

hoping4more

/Big hug

On the plus side, when you are going to have #2 at least she will be excited. My parents are not really excited and it is kinda bumming me out. I realize they have to mourn the loss of J and are scared of losing this one, but some excitement would be nice!! 

WorkinWeezel

Thanks, h4m and I'm sorry they aren't more excited for you.  I mean I know your not supposed to say stuff like this, but I'd like SOMEONE to give a sh*t about me for once. 

All my parents care about is my sister's pregnancy (she's 37 weeks) and her lame-as* husband who doesn't do anything (hence, they feel as though they need to be constantly involved).

All my in-law's care about is my SIL.

Even my kid and my dogs favor my husband.

I realize this is all perception, but it sucks when you feel like NO ONE cares.

hoping4more

Ugg I get it. We all care about you here and you are more then welcome to vent. 

Are your parents supportive? 

WorkinWeezel

hoping4more:

Ugg I get it. We all care about you here and you are more then welcome to vent. 

Are your parents supportive? 

See above.  Sister 37 weeks pregnant.  Her husband sucks.

To be fair, I don't think my dad knows our struggles.  My mom does though.  And when I last told her I got my period, her text response was "Oh sorry".  No follow-up phone call, hasn't come up since.

Thanks, mom.

sgrobste

Big ((HUGS)) I think like you said, it is easy to understand that she is excited, but she should be more understanding of your emotions as well and what you are going through.  I give you tons of credit that you are doing so much in the first place.  But, I think she needs to do a better job of checking on you and listening to your feelings as well.

 We are always here for you

WorkinWeezel

Thanks girls.  I appreciate your support so much.

MIL is coming tomorrow and wants to go to Michael's and AC Moore to look for cardstock for inserts for the baby shower invitations.  Yep, on Memorial Day before our picnic.  Awesome.

Don't be jealous.

hoping4more

WorkinWeezel:

hoping4more:

Ugg I get it. We all care about you here and you are more then welcome to vent. 

Are your parents supportive? 

See above.  Sister 37 weeks pregnant.  Her husband sucks.

To be fair, I don't think my dad knows our struggles.  My mom does though.  And when I last told her I got my period, her text response was "Oh sorry".  No follow-up phone call, hasn't come up since.

Thanks, mom.

Oh I get it, Sorry! I didn't realize until I re-read that both sister in law and sister are pregnant. Talk about crappy!! I hope your turn comes soon and it is ALL about YOU! 

twaterford

So sorry you have to deal with this! You are so supportive and caring, there is no doubt in my mind that your DH and babe love you! It stinks that people can be so insensitive, though! I totally understand how you feel! Thankfully my family and DH family are sensitive to our struggle and pain, but others leave me thinking what the hay?! When is your TWW over? 

mmm920

I understand how you feel!!!!!!! Hang in there. Hopefully it'll get better soon. I have a feeling I'm going to be in this same situation very soon.

My SIL got married recently and up to that point it was the same thing you described. It was way too much for me. And unfortunately, I m/c in January of this year, my grandma passed in Feb and SIL got married a week after she passed. I was the MOH. I held it together and I was at the wedding and I did have a smile on my face, but looking back i was a WRECK! I have no clue how I kept it together.  

I wouldn't be surprised if in the next few months I'll be planning baby showers, etc. And I'm so not ready for that.

It's hard enough talking baby talk with close friends but at least I can escape it for a little bit. With my husbands family, I feel like I can't escape.

Good luck! And don't feel bad if you just need to step away (if you can).  

WorkinWeezel

thanks girls. like you, i have my good days and bad. the thing is, i dont mind at all talking to my sil about her pregnancy; its her first and she was super excited for me when i was pg so i can reciprocate. she also doesnt base every convo on that. and same with my sister- tgis is her second so she definitely foesnt base every comvo on her pregnancy. but my mil does, and my mom, who i uded to be so close with, doesnt srem to give a crap at all about me. it hurts a lot.

 

my sis and sil are two of 10 that are pg in my life. its tough.