Late Term and Child Loss

vent (preg mentioned, not mine)

So...our neighbors across the street know that we lost Jacob and have said NOTHING! In fact my DH went fishing with him today and still said NOTHING, except to announce that him and his wife are pregnant. You would think that now that they have a precious baby growing they would know how precious Jacob was to us and say SOMETHING! Call me immature, but I don't even want to congratulate them. Why acknowledge their baby when they didn't acknowledge ours?!?! (i'm not saying that I actually won't, but this is how I'm feeling)

Ok, vent done. Thnx for listening.

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Re: vent (preg mentioned, not mine)

  • I would actually probably feel the same way!! Its hard when people don't think to at least say something. Kinda like there is a big elephant in the room. I can't believe he didn't say anything then added in that they are pregnant!! I am sorry this happened to you!! {{{HUGS}}}

    BFP#1 9/7/11 EDD 7/23/11 mc @21 weeks caused severe bladder obstruction on 3/14/12
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    BFP #2 9/9/12 EDD 7/19/13 started to mc @ 8w1d on 12/7/12 ended up with d&c 12/18/12, stopped developing @5w5ds

    Unexplained IF
    BFP#3 3/3/14 After 1st iui and clomid cycle
    beta 1: 137 beta 2: 268
    Beta 3:1248
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    ****Hoping for a rainbow baby!!!****
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  • I would probably feel like this too. People are so clueless and just just plain be jerks.
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  • Totally understand.  We had a cookout with DH's family this weekend.  The last time I saw any of them I was still pregnant.  No one said a word!  I ended up leaving early, came home and had a complete breakdown.  I get that people don't know what to say, but come on!!  Say something!  Don't just play dumb; we all know you know!!! If nothing else, they could say "I don't know what to say." 

    As for them telling your H they're expecting ... ugh.  I'm sorry.  I know how much that hurts.

    Missing our sweet baby, with us 20 weeks 4 days, born into Heaven 4/21/2012
  • imageMrsRichMT:

    Totally understand.  We had a cookout with DH's family this weekend.  The last time I saw any of them I was still pregnant.  No one said a word!  I ended up leaving early, came home and had a complete breakdown.  I get that people don't know what to say, but come on!!  Say something!  Don't just play dumb; we all know you know!!! If nothing else, they could say "I don't know what to say." 

    As for them telling your H they're expecting ... ugh.  I'm sorry.  I know how much that hurts.

    This was Christmas for me- DH's whole family completely made us both feel awkward and unwelcomed, and made no mention of my little girl. I don't think the people who "don't know what to say" realize how much more hurt they cause by not saying anything.

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  • I am so sorry. People are so inconsiderate, ignorant, stupid. When my first son was born my close friend never came to the hospital. Then when he died she never said she was sorry, she attended his funeral but acted like it was a social gathering. Then she never called me for months. When she did it was to say she was pregnant. She then proceeded to text me about every ache, cramp, pain and appointment she had. You know what I did? Ignored her just like she did to me.

    I am done excusing people's bad behavior. If someone was rude to you for another reason would you not speak up or ignore them for a while (or for good)? We already have enough on our plates as bereaved mothers. I wouldn't acknowledge her pregnancy. Which will eventually lead her to bring up the pregnancy to you. When she does tell her how you feel. How now maybe since she has a tiny baby growing in her what she would feel if it was all ripped away from her. I did the same thing to the friend I mentioned above. I had enough when she ignored not only my first son but then my rainbow after. I sucked it up and supported her pregnancy even though I was dying inside, I had enough. I wrote her a long email and told her how I felt. It may not have changed much but man it felt good to tell her off.

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