An approach to napping that is totally our own...

noryang

So many of you know that for her first 3 and a half months of life - E just didn't nap. At all. Ok she might grab a few winks here or there or have the occasional sleep fest in her stroller but far more often than not she was awake from 6am to 10:30pm. I tried some fuss it out and other techniques. All I wound up doing was feeling like a failure and started giving my daughter negative feelings toward the crib. Nothing that anyone was suggesting was working for us so I quit trying. I decided that my daughter sleeps great at night - that I am lucky as hell for that and that we would just accept her non-napper status.

I also decided that I wouldn't listen to anymore advice that went against my intuition as a mother and what feels right for my daughter.

Well my little monkey butt might be ready for naps. Recently when I get sleep cues  I have been trying to respond to them in our own way. Here's what I do...

When I start to get sleep cues I go and hang out in her room. I turn the sound machine and but just talk to her and sing to her, change her, etc. I eventually darken the room and swaddle her. Eventually I put her in her crib and give her a pacifer (the only time she will take it). I read her a book. Usually at this point she just lies quietly and watches me. When she seems at peace - I sit in the rocking chair and read to myself or surf the net on the iPad. I don't leave her. I stay with her because she needs me to stay in the room right now. Sometimes she sleeps and then I leave the room and sometimes she doesn't. One day she stayed awake like that for over an hour!

Eventually I will start leaving the room for longer and longer chunks when she is awake so that she learns that she is ok and that her crib is a wonderful, safe place. Because I really believe that she is ready for this and learning at her own pace how to be ok to sleep and rest on her own. She wasn't ready until she was. And now because she is ready - things are going fairly smoothly. I am going with what feels right for this child and it is working better than anything else.

So my overly longwinded point is this - we have to go with our instincts as moms. We are all capable of figuring out what works best for our babies with a little trial and error. Don't feel pressured to listen to your pedi, family or anyone else IF it feels wrong to you. Your baby was born to you because you are the parent that he or she needs. Give yourself a little credit and trust yourself.

(Truly I am sorry this got so long. E is asleep in her right for one and a half hours now and I have no idea what to do with myself! )

88eve88

I'm glad you've found a 'method' that works for your LO!  In our household, we're still trying to find our way ... every day seems to require a different technique or a mishmash of many.  If it doesn't work, I end up beating myself up over another failed nap because I know my DS can be a good sleeper ... I really should give myself a break!

I think the reason I'm so hard on myself is because I'm anticipating the super cranky baby that will appear in the evenings if there is no napping.  Sometimes it's more than I can bear, so the stress of getting DS to nap always seems to hanging over me.  I can't wait for DS to be able to put himself down for naps ... it'll be much more predictable then and I don't have to do all the work LOL! 

noryang

I was in exactly the same place. Once I gave up on the idea that I should be able to get my baby to nap - we were both happier. Give it time and be gentle on yourself. I think it REALLY makes a difference (in subtle ways we can't even imagine) on how we interact with them.

karleegirl

That's a great approach Nory. If it feels right to you that's the most important thing. Good job mama!

kristin172429

Glad you found something that works for you.  We have just started having Ben nap in his crib occasionally and I do something similar.  He loves his mobile, so when I see the eye rubs and the sleepy fuss, I'll just lay him in his crib and turn it on.  I do whatever might need to be done in his room (put away laundry, etc).  And then I kind of go in and out for a few minutes, making sure he is still content.  Once I see the eyes start to droop, I make my last trip out of the room and just give him a few minutes and he will normally drift right off to sleep.  Then I have to remind myself that I can do whatever I need to while he's sleeping...I don't have to sit and watch him on the monitor.

I am totally with you on the do what is right and follow your instincts.  I am a totally "loosey goosey" kind of mom.  If I am hanging out on the couch with him and he falls asleep, he can nap there.  I am right there with him, so I know he's safe.  We have always just been very relaxed about where and when he sleeps.  I have recently started making note of when he is napping just to see if there is a really pattern.  It is a little all over the place right now, but I imagine he'll fall into more of a routine so we can anticipate more of when he naps when trying to plan our adventures!