Crazy control freak or normal FTM???

jamisoncondie

So LO was born May 8th and we have already had my mom stay with us for a week and my MIL here now.  My FIL comes next week.  I'm having a really hard time with it.  When they hold him, feed him, burp him, etc. I find myself wanting to tell them to do it differently.  Like they are doing it wrong and it stresses me out.  This is supposed to be my time to relax because I have help but instead I'm stressed because they aren't doing it right.   Am I crazy!?!?

jennica416

I think it's normal to feel that way. At least, it's normal to me, lol!  If you can either have them do other things for you to help- like laundry, cleaning, cooking etc or when you do need to rest and they are feeding him- don't watch. Leave the room! They probably aren't doing it "wrong" but LO is so new and you're just figuring out your style and want to be the one he relies on for everything.  I found that I really wanted the help and the rest but I still wanted to be the only one to feed him and comfort him. I still feel that way but I'm *trying* to let some of it go.  Good luck! and congratulations

k8edgerton

I think its normal... However they burped you and your DH and I am sure you both turned out fine.

My problem is when others want to hold (particularly my MIL) -- I am extremely jealous. However I am only 5 days postpartum. I have barely had any time to have her to myself. 

 

KatelynEA90

You're not crazy. There's no need to stress out over it though. If it's something you feel is important, comment on it or suggest to them the way you prefer. If it's something small, let it go. These people did raise kids, so they aren't totally clueless. Sometimes doing things differently will help you learn something new.

Personally, I'm more relaxed about it. I don't mind if people try their own things with DD (within reason). For a while, LO needed her head elevated and I had to tell quite a few people to hold her differently. FIL suggested giving her icing at 5 weeks old; not going to happen. If what they're doing isn't hurting her, I let them try their way of holding, burping, rocking.  

ltmacs

I'm the same way. The only person I'm comfortable with, besides my husband, is my sister. I'm getting better with my mom holding/burping/feeding the baby. Still not comfortable with my MIL, baby is 6 weeks old. They still look at me like I'm crazy when I tell them to wash their hands before touching the baby.

Sherbet Lemon

k8edgerton:

My problem is when others want to hold (particularly my MIL) -- I am extremely jealous. However I am only 5 days postpartum. I have barely had any time to have her to myself. 

 

I feel this way too, and it's been 3 weeks. I try to do other things around the house when other people are holding my DD because every little fussy noise she makes I want to take her back and hold her. I'm working on it, though, because I know it's unfair to not let others hold her at all.  

shaket83

Sherbet Lemon:

k8edgerton:

My problem is when others want to hold (particularly my MIL) -- I am extremely jealous. However I am only 5 days postpartum. I have barely had any time to have her to myself. 

 

I feel this way too, and it's been 3 weeks. I try to do other things around the house when other people are holding my DD because every little fussy noise she makes I want to take her back and hold her. I'm working on it, though, because I know it's unfair to not let others hold her at all.  

Ummmm. I still feel this way and my twins are 8 weeks...And there are two of them, but I still have a really hard time with other people even holding them. About two weeks ago, my MIL came over and walked up to me put her hands out and as she was reaching towards one of the baby she said "can grandma hold you?" as she was ALREADY in the process of grabbing him. Drove me nuts!!! But I keep trying to tell myself that I should be very thankful to have people in the boys life that want to spend time with them, and love them very much. 

DinabethL

I feel that way too - but I realize that they have all done this before! I'm not expert. You just have to learn to let it go. They love that child as much as you do, and would never do anything to intentionally hurt it.

MANDALYOUNG1

You aren't crazy or a control freak. We've had family here nonstop and I'm ready to kill them most days. You just need a break from everyone, no matter how well meaning they can be.

jp0129

If your crazy so am I. Except I freak bc my mil doesn't hold his head. I'm amazed her two sons made it after seeing how she is with ds. Plus she actually wanted to buy a travel system from a garage sale that was duct taped. I flat out told her no. They have money and can afford to go buy one. So now I think if she's willing to put her grandson in a duct taped car seat what else will she do. 

MandyJ555

This thread makes me feel so much better.  I've been having an issue specifically with my MIL holding my LO.  My mom was here after my LO was born and I had NO problem with her holding and taking care of the baby.  But she doesn't live here - my MIL is like 15 mins up the road.  So she'll be the one doing most of the helping out and for some reason every time she holds my LO, I get insanely jealous or something.  I always want to take him right back, but have to literally tell myself, "no, you have to let his grandma hold him".  I don't know why or what it is??  And why is it only with her?  Because she isn't my mom?  And she's super good with him - it's not even a rational emotion based on how she's holding him or anything like that.  I'm just hoping these emotions can calm down soon, or else letting her come over to help is going to be a huge challenge.