I'm curious about YOU....

smiling76

A couple questions about yourself ladies.... because I seriously feel like I'm losing it here....

1.  What do you do to "cope" with all the stress in your life?

2.  Are you on any medications like anti anxiety/anti depressants, etc?

3.  Do you work outside of the home (and if so, full-time or part-time?)

4.  Any tips on just keeping it all together?  How do you keep a shedule?

 I feel like I can't even get my house clean!  There's always an appt of some sort or just trying to spend "quality" time with the LOs, especially my special needs (and with his behavior issues can literally not turn my head for a moment or he will harm DS2).

 

Florak8

1. I exercise a few times a week, connect with people via FB and message boards, and do some artsy stuff when I can.

2. Yes, I take an antidepressant. It was already in place before I became an SN mom, but it sure has helped me keep it together.

3. I work full-time from home.

4. My house disgusts me, but I thankfully work in education, so I just have to stomach it until summer break when I can do some full-day major cleansing/organizing/sorting events while DS is at day care. (He gets a lot out of school, and has to keep going to hold his place there, so we keep him going 3 days a week in the summer.) I can definitely relate to not being able to turn your head. DS has no fear and is very wobbly, so I feel compelled to stay very close.

My best tip is to work toward a child-care situation where you can have at least a few hours a week to get things done and not be consumed by the immediate situation of caring for your LOs. This can be tough if you don't live around relatives and have a tight budget, but try to "think outside the box". It is worth it for your sanity. 

Another tip is to write out "smart" goals: specific, measurable . .I forget the rest. But make some goals for the time alone that you do have. I find that way I get more done. Otherwise I end up wasting that time cruising the internet or watching lame TV programs. I am actually going to mark goals on my calender for each day DS is at school this summer. That way we can have more fun on days when he is home.

I hope this is helpful. I still often feel the same way you describe! ((hugs)) 

Heather & Nayt

smiling76:

A couple questions about yourself ladies.... because I seriously feel like I'm losing it here....

1.  What do you do to "cope" with all the stress in your life? I work out at least 3x a week which is at least 5 hours of no kids at the gym. alone. with my music. Heaven. I also blog and getting my thoughts and emotions out helps. I am also starting to get involved with our church and they are getting ready to start a SN mom bible study. I am SO excited!

2.  Are you on any medications like anti anxiety/anti depressants, etc? Nope. Working out is my therapy.

3.  Do you work outside of the home (and if so, full-time or part-time?) I am a stay at home mom and I go to school full time online.

4.  Any tips on just keeping it all together?  How do you keep a shedule? I have am amazing husband who steps up to the plate. He helps with the kids and the house a heck of a lot more now. I also live and breath by our schedule because I know if I don't Drew will spiral out of control. We have a daily picture schedule that I show him and then I just have to make my self stick to it. I don't keep it together, I have good days and bad days but I do see a significant difference in him when we are on track in a clean house compared to when it is cluttered and doing things different. It makes it worth it.

 I feel like I can't even get my house clean!  There's always an appt of some sort or just trying to spend "quality" time with the LOs, especially my special needs (and with his behavior issues can literally not turn my head for a moment or he will harm DS2).

I try to include him in as much as I can. If I am going dishes, he is playing in the sink with me, vacuuming sets him off so he sits on his bed, I fold clothes when they are napping/having quiet time, I clean bathrooms at night when they are playing in their bathroom. My house isn't spotless by any means, but it isn't bad either. I also try to do a few small pick ups through out the day which helps keep the work load down. DH does dinner dishes. DS picks up his toys after he is done with them. That is the expectation at school so we adopted it here and it has worked well.

 I am still new to this too, but I think it is normal to feel like your life is in ciaos. Therapy, doctors, and the daily grind of having a kid who needs more attention is exhausting. Once they are in bed, I do jack other then sit on the couch and veg with DH. I did find that by going back to school it makes me feel like I am doing something just for ME. I don't share it with anyone else and that helps me out a lot.

Hang in there mama. 

 

JoJoGee

smiling76:

A couple questions about yourself ladies.... because I seriously feel like I'm losing it here....

1.  What do you do to "cope" with all the stress in your life? DH and I have a weekly date Night.  We are fortunate that we can arrange our in home care nursing hours to do this.  I am trying to find something I can do on a daily basis to decompress, but I have a hard time taking time for myself.

2.  Are you on any medications like anti anxiety/anti depressants, etc? No, but I am thinking of going to a therapist.  Most days I think I handle the stress pretty well, but at times, I know I go crazy.

3.  Do you work outside of the home (and if so, full-time or part-time?) I work full time.  20 hours in the office, 20 hours at home. 

4.  Any tips on just keeping it all together?  How do you keep a shedule? My android is a lifesaver.  It helps keep us on schedule for all of our appointments.  I even schedule chores in.

In terms of keeping it all together, my biggest piece of advice (something that I need to listen to myself) is to be kind to yourself.  Things don't always go according to the plan.  That's okay.  As long as you get up and try your best every day, I don't see what good it does you to beat yourself up on what you can't control.

 I feel like I can't even get my house clean!  There's always an appt of some sort or just trying to spend "quality" time with the LOs, especially my special needs (and with his behavior issues can literally not turn my head for a moment or he will harm DS2).

 

kcisthebombdotcom

1. What do you do to "cope" with all the stress in your life? I send the kids to daycare one afternoon a week and get to run errands/do some chores in peace. I'm lucky to have family in the area and take date nights with my DH regularly.

2. Are you on any medications like anti anxiety/anti depressants, etc? No.

3. Do you work outside of the home (and if so, full-time or part-time?). I work 2 evenings a week from 6-11. I love it. It really helps keep my sanity to get out and socialize with other adults (I waitress).

4. Any tips on just keeping it all together? How do you keep a shedule? It's hard to say because what works for me might not work for you. Getting out of the house everyday is essential for my sanity. If I don't get my sensory seeking child to a place like a playground, the zoo or children's museum to run and burn his energy, by the end of the day he's acting out terribly and I'm ready to lsoe my mind. I've tried to recreate the kinds of sensory activities at home, but nothing is like being outside, running around, and interacting with other kids for him. 

I dont keep a schedule at all.

st.augbride

1. What do you do to "cope" with all the stress in your life? I try to be as proactive as I can in terms of therapy, as it helps me feel like we are making a big impact (and we are). Other than that, we all eat dinner together which we enjoy and find relaxing, and I try to watch a LOT of comedies at night with dh once ds is in bed. Exercise when I can and walks with dh and ds help a lot too.

2. Are you on any medications like anti anxiety/anti depressants, etc? No

3. Do you work outside of the home (and if so, full-time or part-time?) Yes, full-time but my supervisor is very flexible and I work from home one day per week.

4. Any tips on just keeping it all together? How do you keep a shedule? Take it one day at a time and share with dh as much as you can. Ask for help and flexibility where you need it and don't take on more than you can handle.

MrsBalletStar05

1.  What do you do to "cope" with all the stress in your life? Chocolate.  Alcohol.  Sleep.  Church.  Probably not all the best answers!  

2.  Are you on any medications like anti anxiety/anti depressants, etc? No.

3.  Do you work outside of the home (and if so, full-time or part-time?) Yes.  I work two part-time jobs.  I work at the YMCA childwatch (daycare while parents work out) about 20 hours a week, M-F mornings.  I also teach dance (mostly ballet, plus jazz and tap) 1-3 evenings a week depending on the season.  My older son is in school, but comes with me to the Y on breaks, as does my younger son.  They often come with me to dance classes as well, but not always.  My H watches them (when he is home) or sometimes I get a sitter.  So basically, I have at least one kid with me most of the time.

4.  Any tips on just keeping it all together?  How do you keep a shedule? I don't know.  Everything is new to me at this point.  I try like heck to keep naps at the same time each day and to eat consistently.  I think my work schedule helps with this. 

My home is barely acceptable.  I don't get much deep cleaning done, but I'm pretty good about staying on top of laundry and dishes and keeping things picked up.  We are just in the early stages of finding out about the special needs of both our boys (my younger one has much more severe delays than our oldest).  Things just happened to hit all at once.  Also, when all this was coming to light, my DH got deployed.  I will admit there were a couple of VERY rocky weeks.  My older son wasn't handling DH being gone very well, and the weight of the world just really came down.  This past week has been a lot better, thankfully.

I too, feel like there is always an appointment and I know it will only get worse.  DS#2 has EI once a week.  As of next month we will be adding in speech once a week as well.  We've also been to the ear doctor for him a lot (got tubes recently) and are getting ready for his 2 year well-check in a couple of weeks.  We want to get referrals for a geneticist, allergist, and possibly neurologist as well.   And I know I need to make an appointment for DS#1 too, but am unsure on exactly what questions or specialists I need to ask about, so I'm putting it off for now since DS#2 has more pressing issues.  I don't know how I am going to fit all this in with work :-/  Things were easier when DH was home, he usually did most of the appointments since he was off a couple of days during the week. 

realisticdreams

smiling76:

A couple questions about yourself ladies.... because I seriously feel like I'm losing it here....

1.  What do you do to "cope" with all the stress in your life?

Retail therapy 

2.  Are you on any medications like anti anxiety/anti depressants, etc?

I am not. 

3.  Do you work outside of the home (and if so, full-time or part-time?)

I had to drop to basically just trying to not fall out of the system so I normally work one, 8 hour shift per month.  It's nice to have the adult interaction but honestly, my patience for the type of people I encounter has dwindled to a negative level.  So often times I feel like I'm either going to flip out or cry lol 

4.  Any tips on just keeping it all together?  How do you keep a shedule?

I have no schedule.  The majority of the week naptime happens in the car on the way to/from an appointment.  I do light cleaning, whenever I can.  Laundry is fairly easy, getting it put away is another story.  I vaccum 1-3x per week depending on what food the girls have managed to drag into the living room that day.  We dont' have a dishwasher and we have baby bottles still so I do dishes everyday.  Other than that, Just keep talking to whoever will listen, the more you get out the less you have in.  I saw a psychologist last week, it was weird..I can't say it really helped.  Her goal is to help me think of ways to relieve stress pretty much.  She suggested music, tv, reading a book.  

 

 

BlushingMama

1.  What do you do to "cope" with all the stress in your life?

I overeat. And I go on the internet too much, but  am isolated from my family (I am an expat) so its my way of communicating with them. 

2.  Are you on any medications like anti anxiety/anti depressants, etc? I have been off my anti depressants for a month now. I am proud of myself for weaning off them, but I am eating more. I wish I could learn to run instead.

3.  Do you work outside of the home (and if so, full-time or part-time?) I work P/T from home on a Saturday and Sunday night.

4.  Any tips on just keeping it all together?  How do you keep a shedule? We are about to introduce a visual timetable for my son which means that I will be keeping to that schedule too. For appointments we have a family calendar in the kitchen, but I also have a thing for dates. Ask me what I did yesterday and I would not be able to tell you, but ask me Joe Soaps birthday that I have not seen since the 5th grade and can tell you. Or the date I first flew out the country or the date I moved house, etc. It freaks people out how good I am with dates, so I just use my calendar as a back up.

As for the cleaning, during the week I stack the dish washer, vacuum (have to as my son is allergic to household dust mites), wash laundry and hang it up (don't pack away) , pack away toys and  throw bleach in the toilet. I do my proper house work on a Sunday afternoon when DH has to take DS out or keep him busy.

ridesbuttons

smiling76:

I'll preface that what I'm dealing with is 2 boys (5 and 3.5 years old) and apaxia (speech delay)

1.  What do you do to "cope" with all the stress in your life? The first 3 years for each was stressful; I coped by doing what had to be done; checking out when I had too, indulging in wine too much and coming to these message boards; since DS2 turned 3, things have been getting noticeably easier

2.  Are you on any medications like anti anxiety/anti depressants, etc? No

3.  Do you work outside of the home (and if so, full-time or part-time?) yes, full time (though pretty flexible)

4.  Any tips on just keeping it all together?  How do you keep a shedule? it took me a while to be comfortable asking for help, even from DH, but man, once I did, what a relief!; some things were easier when the kids were younger, I get push back now from both if they are not 'into' what needs to happen (like getting your snowsuit on in time to catch the bus to school)

 I feel like I can't even get my house clean!  There's always an appt of some sort or just trying to spend "quality" time with the LOs, especially my special needs (and with his behavior issues can literally not turn my head for a moment or he will harm DS2). DS1 was always very agressive with DS2; I created 'safe' zones for both of them, places where I could put one or the other that would keep them separated so I could take a shower or even go to the bathroom; don't sweat your house, clean it or don't, hire someone to clean it or don't, in the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter that much.  Ask for help if you  need it, have a family member or friend take one of the kids for 2 hours twice a week just to get some relief; you will not believe how much that helps!

 

zoeyandsummersmom

smiling76:

A couple questions about yourself ladies.... because I seriously feel like I'm losing it here....

1.  What do you do to "cope" with all the stress in your life?

Ha! When I figure this out, I will let you know. I am trying to work out as I used to love to shop to relieve stress but baby weight <> fun shopping. Oh and humor. I try to laugh and play things like scramble and words with friends.

2.  Are you on any medications like anti anxiety/anti depressants, etc?

Zoloft and I are planning to become more intimate real soon.

3.  Do you work outside of the home (and if so, full-time or part-time?)

Work full time outside the home for a very large company, but have a very flexible and amazing manager.

4.  Any tips on just keeping it all together?  How do you keep a shedule?

I try to do a lot the night before for daycare prep. Our GI and I email back and forth and that saves a lot of time. I have even taken video with my iphone and sent it to him and received very fast responses. I outsource things I cannot do - the dog goes to day camp twice  a week, the houes gets cleaned every other week and our favorite babysitter lives 2 blocks away and happens to be a nurse. When all hope is lost I call in my MIL who comes at the drop of the hat to help out.

I consider myself very lucky to have such a great support system in place.

 I feel like I can't even get my house clean!  There's always an appt of some sort or just trying to spend "quality" time with the LOs, especially my special needs (and with his behavior issues can literally not turn my head for a moment or he will harm DS2).

 

april262011

1). Shopping, but I try to window shop as much as possible.  Just getting out of the apartment makes me feel better.  

2) no

3) I quit my job when we found out my son had cancer.  Caring for him is a full time job, and I know we ae fortunate that we we able to make that happen.

4) I am trying to figure it out.  Reading your responses helped give me some tips.  I am longing for a schedule, but until his treatment is over, I can't have one.  Sometimes we are at the hospital for 10 hours a day. 

smiling76

april262011:

1). Shopping, but I try to window shop as much as possible.  Just getting out of the apartment makes me feel better.  

2) no

3) I quit my job when we found out my son had cancer.  Caring for him is a full time job, and I know we ae fortunate that we we able to make that happen.

4) I am trying to figure it out.  Reading your responses helped give me some tips.  I am longing for a schedule, but until his treatment is over, I can't have one.  Sometimes we are at the hospital for 10 hours a day. 

Wow---your response just hit me like a ton of bricks.  I'm sorry, I didn't realize.  And truthfully--what you are dealing with is NOTHING compared to the drama some of us face.  You are a strong strong woman and I do hope that the responses did help give some tips for your sanity.  I know they helped me too.  I'll be praying for your son.