How WILL you tell DH when you get a BFP?

katharine25

Since the subject has been broached.....

So we've all been there done that with the first time "I'm KTfU" cute way to tell DH. There's something fun & naive about that first excitement of seeing 2 lines that I don't think I will ever be able to have again. My 2nd BFP I just told him. I was excited, but he was cautiously not. Fair enough since my excitement only got to last 24 hours. Whatever, it was fun while it lasted...

Will you come up with a cute way to tell your DH for your next BFP or just war the pee stick in his face? How do you think he will reacte at this point? Is this going to be your first BFP post loss or more?

 

AngnShaun

I usually just show him the test. 

LSzwaya

I will just tell him. At this point BFP does not mean baby for us. 

imwithrebel

katharine25:

So we've all been there done that with the first time "I'm KTfU" cute way to tell DH. There's something fun & naive about that first excitement of seeing 2 lines that I don't think I will ever be able to have again.

I didn't even get that first innocent time. You'd think I could have at least had that after trying for 20 months just to lose two back to back before I even knew I was pregnant due to false negative tests and betas. I'll just call/tell my husband right after I hear my beta results.

DaisyZH

nola78:

I'll probably just show him the test and tell him to get ready for the therapy bills. 

This.  Come to think of it I've never actually showed him the test, he's never asked either.  I usually just come out of the bathroom and tell him yes or no.  Although I have tested alone before when I was pretty sure they were going to be negative. 

Elle jM

I actually think alot about this.  Usually, during the 5 minutes of hope I have before I read the big fat negative!  Though we were trying for months before my first BFP, I never expected to see those 2 lines.  When he walked in the door I just blurted it out.  I kind of regret it  now, and wish I had come up with something more creative.

You never get that first one back!  I'll probably just blurt it out again. 

delino

First time, I told him when he walked in the door and I started crying.  Second time was over the phone, he knew I was going for bloodwork.  Third time he was on the phone with a friend and I told him I needed to talk to him.  He got off the phone and I showed him the stick and told him it wasn't going to end well.  I haven't thought of how I would tell him if I get another one.  I have a hard time planning for that.

NBBride05

My only bfp, I just told him. We told our parents creatively. I really don't know about the next time. 

twotexans

I shoved the test under his nose and asked if he saw two lines, because I thought I was seeing things.  I'm sure I'll do the same next time too.

katharine25

DaisyZH:

nola78:

I'll probably just show him the test and tell him to get ready for the therapy bills. 

This.  Come to think of it I've never actually showed him the test, he's never asked either.  I usually just come out of the bathroom and tell him yes or no.  Although I have tested alone before when I was pretty sure they were going to be negative. 

Nola, that would be funny if it wasn't so true... 

I always test alone. Mostly because he's sleeping but I also try to hide how obsessive I really am  

AquaFlowers

I just show him, BFPs for me don't usually mean I'm pregnant for keeps

killian09

I pretty much only test when DH is home, and I tell him that I'm testing beforehand. So I don't do a big reveal or anything.  I just tell him, or he looks at the test or whatever.  

The first BFP I woke him up at 4 AM so that I could take a test with FMU and he would be awake to see the result. We were excited to see the BFP (it was my first time taking a pg test in my life), but we did manage to go back to sleep after a bit of chatting and excitement.  The second BFP, I took the test and then walked away and starting doing something else.  He went and stood there staring at it, watching the line form. When he told me it was positive, I cried from shear anxiety.  

I'm imagining the third time will be more like the second. 

katharine25

delino:

First time, I told him when he walked in the door and I started crying.  Second time was over the phone, he knew I was going for bloodwork.  Third time he was on the phone with a friend and I told him I needed to talk to him.  He got off the phone and I showed him the stick and told him it wasn't going to end well.  I haven't thought of how I would tell him if I get another one.  I have a hard time planning for that.

Im going to let off some fireworks for you that your DH  will see I'm going to be so excited. I have what, 10 days left to secure firearms?

Mmm79

My first BFP, I came downstairs to tell him and I was shaking with excitement and he guessed immediately even though I hadn't even told him I was POAS.  We hugged, high-fived, the whole nine yards.  It was a wonderful feeling.   The second BFP, he knew I was testing so I just walked out and said, "It's positive" and we hugged, but were a lot more restrained.  He was cautious about getting excited- guess that was a good idea. 

If we get another BFP, I'm not sure what I'll do.  I think we're both kind of terrified of setting ourselves up for heartbreak again. 

megemoney

In all the time we were trying, I kept coming up with such cute ideas.  But when a year came and went, and a surgery came and went, I was so stunned that I just walked over to him and asked him if he saw the line too.  I was shaking.  He said he saw it and told me to stop shaking.

I am sure it will be the same thing.  I mean, with treatments starting, I fail to see how I will be able to hold it a secret long enough to do something cutesy.

 

big_noise

twotexans:

I shoved the test under his nose and asked if he saw two lines, because I thought I was seeing things.  I'm sure I'll do the same next time too.

Pretty much this for all three BFPs. I've charted since the beginning so I usually get a faint line. He's my cynical look to say yes there actually is a second line and I"m not imagining. I honestly don't think I'll ever get excited after a BFP. I'll just shift into what has to be done next.

delino

katharine25:

delino:

First time, I told him when he walked in the door and I started crying.  Second time was over the phone, he knew I was going for bloodwork.  Third time he was on the phone with a friend and I told him I needed to talk to him.  He got off the phone and I showed him the stick and told him it wasn't going to end well.  I haven't thought of how I would tell him if I get another one.  I have a hard time planning for that.

Im going to let off some fireworks for you that your DH  will see I'm going to be so excited. I have what, 10 days left to secure firearms?

You're so sweet.  Yea...10 days until the official beta.

BootsOrHearts

We never had that moment of joyous innocence either. Since it was our first time and I'm not a spring chicken (38), we were very cautious. We still didn't believe it after 6 tests, we didn't believe even after the 1st two ultrasounds. It wasn't until 13 or 14 weeks, 3 ultrasounds and good 1st tri blood work we finally convinced ourselves that it was real. Then a month later it was gone.

I think the next time will be the same, only we won't be convinced until I'm 38 weeks! I don't think we will even tell friends/family until after 20 weeks or so. I'll have to get lots of really baggy sweatshirts. 

kwilson158

Hubby was out of town at work when I got my first positive...the fact that we were not trying and that I was on BC was a huge shock to both of us...It was early in the morning when he got home from work and he woke me up and I said "um...I think you are going to be a daddy" he of course did not believe me so I showed him the test and then he went to the kitchen and fixed himself a glass of crown and coke...LOL...

The 2nd one I left my prenatal vitamins on the bathroom counter (we were trying) and he came home from work and saw them...asked me what they were for and I said " I don't know...why do women take prenatal vitamins...He were excited started planning and then lost it...

I hope to have something creative for the 3rd when ever we get it...I would like to try and be excited for the next one too...

krisztina33

nola78:

I'll probably just show him the test and tell him to get ready for the therapy bills. 

This.  The good news is that although I have an unbelievably crappy insurance plan, I was approved for unlimited therapy sessions which is basically unheard of...they could probably tell it was called for  

Katharine, can I get in on those fireworks for Delino???

Luey22

The first time I told my husband at dinner, our EDD would have been october which is always when he goes on a hunting trip with his brothers. So when we were eating I told him he couldn't go on his hunting trip this fall, he looked at me like what? and I said because I'm pregnant, we will be due in October. He was shocked beyond belief. This time I'm sure there won't be the same excitement, just fear until our ultrasound again.

jinxycat24

The first time I did something kind of cute to surprise him. With the second and third I just told him. Each time we have been excited however are obviously more cautious and anxious then anything now.

For the next I will just tell him. 

minicheezburg

First time I surprised him with dinner and a card and it all wrapped up. If it ever happens again it may depend on if he is home when I test. I know I would not be able to keep it from him if he was here. If he isn't I may do something special if I can keep my mouth shut til he gets home.

kd&cd

I always thought I would get a BFP and give him a bib saying "I love my daddy" or something equally as cute. But when the time came, I been telling him for 2 weeks that I knew I was pregnant, so when I finally got a BFP, I just showed him the test...NEXT TIME im doing the bib thing can't wait!

nkemp

Our 1st bfp was a honeymoon baby. I was late but my cycles can be long so I took a test and got in the shower. When I got out it was positive. I ran down stairs in my yowl and showed dh. We were shocked. We were on a high for 3 days and fell very hard after the mc 3 days later. My 2nd bfp was on memorial day. I tested at 4 am woke up dh told him and then watched a movie because I couldn't go back to sleep. 3rd bfp was about the same as the 2nd. I tested really early in the morning. Woke him up and then went back to sleep. We lost baby Addison one day before 2nd tri and our nt screening. Like pp I won't feel that excitement until I hold the lo in my arms God willing. 

panacea05

I actually think about this a lot. The first time, I was so surprised that I couldn't even keep it a secret long enough to come up with anything fancy. We were basically doing cartwheels all over Cleveland. The second time, I just told him, and while we were happy... it just didn't compare to BFP #1. 

I think if I were to try to do something fun with BFP #3, DH would wonder what the hell was wrong with me. I'm sure he'll be thinking in the back of my mind--like I'll be--that it won't last. I don't want to buy a bib or onesie or anything that will just pain me to look at later. I guess I'll just wave the pee stick in his face.

Dammit, what HAVEN'T we all been robbed of? 

khays8785

I didn't go too crazy the first time: I found out in the am, and told him out at dinner by sliding over a photo on my phone of the 3+ tests...

I didn't have anything planned really - it took 6+ months of TTC where I just told myself to expect negatives, and then I was just wanting to get to the u/s stage to confirm it.

now after the loss, I think I'd be the same way and just end up waving the stick in his face... he's pretty in-tune with when everything happens too (O time, when I can test, etc) that I wouldn't be able to surprise him lol

Laurakat81

I don't think I will do any fun announcements. With #3 I told him via text, with #4 I waited 12 hours to tell him bc I knew something was off from the start and I didn't want us both disappointed.

The thing is I'd love to do some sort of surprise announcement but at this point we really are jaded and I think he'd be "mad" and tell me to not get my hopes up. Don't get me wrong, every BFP we got was met with overwhelming joy but also with the knowledge that things rarely go as planned.

ct103

The first time I was so naive. I had done so many OPK's in my life, so I thought my faint line wasn't a true positive. I showed it to DH and said "what do you make of this?". He decided we needed a digi, so we ran to WalMart and I took it the moment we got home. We sat on the couch with it on the coffee table and watched it turn positive together.

Next time I think I'll follow Petunia's example (on PgAL because they're totally talking about the same thing over there) and let DH read the results to me. He'll be involved that way, and it might keep me a little more sane if I don't have to be the first person to see it.

Laurakat81

With our first BFP I waited HOURS! It was excruciating to wait! I remember of all days he even came home late because he went to have a drink with some coworkers! I had to act like it was no big deal but find a way to get him home before I exploded from pure joy! I decided to tell him over a game of Scrabble. Before he got home I snuck out the letters to spell "I am pregnant" and when we finally started playing I put them down as my first word! He did a double take like three times and just couldn't believe it! It was one of the best nights ever!!!!

We told our parents on Christmas day by making a collage picture frame with all the grandkids and included our ultrasound with a "Coming soon in August 2010!". They were over the moon too!

Now no one wants to know. My parents say they wish they just didn't know so they didn't have to worry! I get their point but it stings bc I don't get that luxury!

GatorBaby2012

I wasn't cute the first time around, nor the second time. Actually the first time, I POAS in the afternoon expecting a BFN, but got a +, so I took a pic and texted it to him. The second one was with FMU and I woke him up. The next time will likely be similar to those experiences.

I don't plan to get creative announcing to others either.

Debating on whether  I'll get cutesy with gender reveal. I had an awesome idea for that the first time around and never got to implement it.

funny bunny

I custom made this

 ,

and handed it to him (he's a world of Warcraft player, it makes sense, I swear).

The second time I just told him.

This time, I'll probably just tell him..

BootsOrHearts

funny bunny:

I custom made this

 ,

and handed it to him (he's a world of Warcraft player, it makes sense, I swear).

The second time I just told him.

This time, I'll probably just tell him..

Marry me. 

Laurakat81

katharine25:

delino:

First time, I told him when he walked in the door and I started crying.  Second time was over the phone, he knew I was going for bloodwork.  Third time he was on the phone with a friend and I told him I needed to talk to him.  He got off the phone and I showed him the stick and told him it wasn't going to end well.  I haven't thought of how I would tell him if I get another one.  I have a hard time planning for that.

Im going to let off some fireworks for you that your DH  will see I'm going to be so excited. I have what, 10 days left to secure firearms?

 

funny bunny

BootsOrHearts:

funny bunny:

I custom made this

 ,

and handed it to him (he's a world of Warcraft player, it makes sense, I swear).

The second time I just told him.

This time, I'll probably just tell him..

Marry me. 

I will

I see we have a WOW enthusiast?  

iheartcoffee

twotexans:

I shoved the test under his nose and asked if he saw two lines, because I thought I was seeing things.  I'm sure I'll do the same next time too.

This! Like a PP, a positive does not mean baby for us, really any of us, so I get nervous. BUT, I usually can always "see" a line so I need a second opinion usually.  

khays8785

kklamb10:

My DH always joked he would know before me and he was the one that suggested I take the test.  To my surprise I got that BFP almost immediately after peeing on the stick.  So I'm still on the toilet shaking and screaming and he comes in laughing at me.  We were so excited.  Just thinking about getting that BFP again makes me nervous.  I really have no idea what I will do the next time.  I don't a BFP will ever be the same.

I don't think so either... each one after is going to be fraught with anxiety!! =

killian09

panacea05:

Dammit, what HAVEN'T we all been robbed of? 

you're right, panacea, but this comment makes me so sad.   

emjo03

With the first I was home alone.  I was going to tell him when I got home from work but he sensed something in my voice so he found out standing in the garage of the house we were moving into in 3 days.

 

With the second I was determined to tell him in person.  However, I can't keep a secret.  So I told pretty much my whole family while he was at work.  My sister told BIL and BIL works with one of DH's best friends.  BIL told friend who then called DH but DH was busy and didn't answer.  However, worried DH would talk to friend before he got home I then had to call one of DH's other friends to get Friend #1s cell number to tell him not to call DH.  SOOO....when DH got home I told him - he was shocked as we tried for more than a year that time.

 

The third time he called me from work and wanted to know why I wasn't at the gym.  Um...if I was supposed to be at the gym, why are you calling me?  Anyway, I told him I couldn't go because I was in shock and then told him over the phone again.  Unfortunately that one was not a keeper.

The fourth time I had 2 tests (because I didn't believe it) on the shelf in the bathroom when he got home.  I just left them there to see if he would find them - he did.  Also not a keeper.

 The fifth time I found out on Valentine's Day.  I was not going to be home when DH got home from work so I wrapped the test and put it with his Vday card.  Not a keeper.

 

If/when I get to tell him again, I have no idea how I will do it.  I'm honestly afraid to do something too creative or fun because I'm losing hope for another keeper.  I don't want to make some great memory that we then really want to forget.

lsuhoneybadger

The first time (when I wasn't charting, just having pretty regular periods), I was a week late and set to get an MRI that morning.  I had tested the week before and BFN but I went ahead and tested that morning just because I wanted to have some peace of mind before I did the MRI.  Little did I know, BFP.  DH was already in the field working so I called him and told him, then sent him a pic.

 

As far as what I'll do this time, I really have no idea.  I feel like it's been so long since I got one (August) that each month, I just make myself think it will be negative so I don't get disappointed.  I guess I will probably just tell him like I did last time.

holly_g13

My first and only BPF was in Nov. last year. DH was at work so I tested alone. I went out and bought a card and also a gift bag/tissue paper to put the stick in. It was so hard to not txt or call him, but I didn't. When he got home I had everything on the coffee table ready for him. We were both so happy!

I dont know how I'd go about doing it when/if we get another BFP. I'm gonna be so happy, but I just dont think I'm gonna feel the same way. I'll probably just txt him a picture of the stick. I always test alone. No need for Both of us to see the BFN when they appear