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I just need to scream

katharine25katharine25 member
in TTC After a Loss

DH told me this morning our SIL (his brother) is due at the end of June with her second. His family lives in Israel so I had no Flucking idea she was even pregnant. They agreed not to say anything to me because they didn't think I could handle it. I  know they meant well, but I just feel completely insulted. Like waiting until now makes it any better?!?!?

And my best friend just had her baby.

So now not only am I not having a baby next weekend, my first loss has been  sandwiched between two very real and present reminders. 

Why is it, just when you think you are doing OK - that you've grappled with the *** the world throws at you think you've handled it well, it just shites on you again?

 

Married My Love on 6/18/2006
BFP#1 10/1/2011. Our perfect little girl, Her heart stopped @ 12w1d. D&E 11/23/11
BFP#2 3/13/12 Weird CP/Possible EP @ 6w0d
BFP#3 5/28/12 CP @ 5w0d
BFP/WTF#4 10/26/12 CP
BFP#5 12/10/12 EDD 8/23/2013
<3 Baby Boy Born 8/22/13 <3
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Re: I just need to scream

  • AngnShaunAngnShaun
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  • uneek1323uneek1323 member

    Ugh! That's awful that they didn't tell you. And you're right - just when you think you've got things under control....

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  • Luey22Luey22
    BLAH! ((hugs))
    Me(22)-DH(25) Started dating- June 2005 Married-Feb.2011 TTC#1 Since Jan. 2012- BFP Jan 31, 2012 3-15-12 Missed M/C at 10 weeks 3 days (baby measured 7w 3d)
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  • big_noisebig_noise member
    I'm sorry. I would be upset too. I can relate to the friend having a baby too. I was supposed to be pregnant with my two friends growing up...all of us unexpectedly (with my first m/c at least). One had her baby last week and the other is due a week before I would have been in August. I thought I would be ok with the first one, but I almost cried when I saw the pics on fb. I'm happy for them but feeling left out.
    BFP #1, 12/22/09 - DD#1 born 9/2010
    BFP #2, 12/12/11, m/c 12/25/11
    BFP #3, 3/09/12, CP 3/10/12
    BFP #4, 7/22/12, DD#2 born 4/2013
     

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  • jenn0021jenn0021 member
    Ouch. I would be insulted too. And finding out later in the pregnancy doesn't make it any better. I'm sorry you were blindsided. And ((hugs)). Life just sucks sometimes.
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    Started TTC June 2010
    BFP #1     07/04/10. EDD 03/14/11. Missed m/c 08/09/10. D&C 09/27/10. }Casey & Jaimie{
    BFP #2 01/14/11. EDD 09/25/11. Missed m/c 02/18/11. D&C 02/24/11. }Dustin{
    TTA for 18 months and then TTC for 12 months
    BFP #3 08/18/13. EDD 04/30/14. Missed m/c 09/25/13. D&C 09/26/13. }Daylin{
    TTA for 7 months
    Jan-Mar 2014 - RPL, SHG, karotyping: all results normal
    TTC Again May 2014
    Progesterone & baby aspirin combo for 5 cycles     - All BFN's
    SA with DNA fragmentation = Perfect results
    Diagnostic cycle monitoring = Polycystic ovaries leading to premature egg release
    TTA Oct 2014 - Jan 2015
    Jan 2015 - Medicated cycle with timed intercourse
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  • egsquaredegsquared member
    I'm so sorry. I would be upset too. Finding out later about the pregnancy just makes it worse. And I can relate to the other part - a close friend had her baby yesterday and I'm really having a hard time getting past my sadness - I should have a two week old right now. Big ((hugs)).
    TTC #1 since 6/08. Cycle #6 - BFP 12/22/08, EDD 9/3/09, DD 8/14/09 at 37w1d
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    TTC #2 since 6/11
    me=36 - low AMH, DH=38
    BFP #2 - 8/31/11, EDD 5/10/12, M/C 9/23/11
    BFP #3 - 3/4/12, EDD 11/14/12, CP 3/11/12
    BFP #4 - 5/9/12, EDD 1/19/13, CP 5/11/12
    BFP #5 - 8/22/12, EDD 5/5/13, CP 8/24/12
    IVF#1 - January 2013 - EPP/Antagonist - 7R, 3M, 2F, 3dt of 2 8-cell embies
    BFP #6 - 2/3/13, EDD 10/15/13, DS 9/18/13 at 36w1d
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • QuigleyCat1QuigleyCat1 member
    I'm so sorry!  Sending you a big squeeeze  Left Hug

    Lilypie - (dLe1)

     

          ***BFP 1-22-13, baby boy dx with Trisomy 13 at 15 weeks.

           We let him go to Heaven on 4-27-13 at 17 weeks 1 day***

     Lilypie - (AW2u)
     

     Lilypie - (L84X)Lilypie - (D4Hj)

     

     

     

     

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  • delinodelino member
    I'm so sorry sweetie.  I know how much it hurts when you feel like you're going in circles while everyone around you gets exactly what you want and deserve.  (((HUGS)))
    3 ectopic pregnancies (EDD's 1/30/12-tube removed, 6/2/12-methotrexate and 10/2/12-methotrexate)
    IVF and Natural FET resulted in BFN's and a hole in our wallets
    Natural BFP #4 on 9/7/12 gave us our miracle on 5/18/13
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • Mmm79Mmm79 member
    What a sucker punch.  And you're right, it's not like the news is easier now.  I am so sorry.

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    BFP#1 11/12/11 ~ No heartbeat 12/12/11 ~ D&C 12/19/11
    BFP#2 3/25/12 ~ Heartbeat 141 4/16/12 ~ No heartbeat 4/25/12 ~ D&C 04/30/12 
    BFP#3 7/16/12 ~ EDD 3/26/13 ~ It's a BOY ~ DOB 2/26/13






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  • DaisyZHDaisyZH member
    Waiting to tell you was definately not a good move, I would have been very upset.  I'm really sorry, I know this is so hard and I wish I could make it better (( Hugs ))


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  • khays8785khays8785 member
    I'm sorry - I think it sucks the most, and adds insult to injury, that they felt they had to hide it from you...
    Love: 08/04/2006
    Marriage: 10/02/2010
      Computer Hope
    Baby Carriage: 
    BFP#1 : 03.2012........MMC + D&C : 05.2012
    BFP#2 : 11.12.2012..........Born 07.17.2013
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  • killian09killian09 member
    Ugh.  I'm so sorry.  Go ahead and scream! It is good just to get it out sometimes.  
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  • LSzwayaLSzwaya member
    I am so sorry. I HATE that feeling like I JUST started to get a grip and then something knocks me back down. I am so so sorry. It just plain old sucks. 
    MC 4/09 at 6w2d 
    Rainbow Jude 
    born: 12/31/09
    Pre-E Induction at 36w4d
    11 Day NICU stay due to GBS infection

    TTC#2 10/2010
    M/C: 4/09/11 5w
    CP: 12/26/2011 
    CP: 1/28/2012 
    MMC: 4/16/2012 at 11w2d 
    Ectopic: 6/25/2012 MTX 07/03/12
    CP 11/24/2012 
    Rainbow Violet 
    born: 9/11/13

    All ALers welcome! 
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  • kiki4kiki4 member
    That sucks....I'm sorry.
    BFP 1/19/12 No heartbeat at 7w4d 3rd dose Cytotec 3/1/12
    *PGAL/PAL Welcome*
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  • katharine25katharine25 member

    imagedelino:
    I'm so sorry sweetie.  I know how much it hurts when you feel like you're going in circles while everyone around you gets exactly what you want and deserve.  (((HUGS)))

    Exactly this :( 

    Married My Love on 6/18/2006
    BFP#1 10/1/2011. Our perfect little girl, Her heart stopped @ 12w1d. D&E 11/23/11
    BFP#2 3/13/12 Weird CP/Possible EP @ 6w0d
    BFP#3 5/28/12 CP @ 5w0d
    BFP/WTF#4 10/26/12 CP
    BFP#5 12/10/12 EDD 8/23/2013
    <3 Baby Boy Born 8/22/13 <3
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  • NBBride05NBBride05 member
    I'm sorry. Sending you a big HUG!!!
    May PAL Siggy Challenge - Mom Humor
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    TTC Since June 2009 
    BFP #1 - 1/15/12, EDD 9/21/12, Missed M/C - 2/10/12 - I miss you Sapphire!

    BFP #2 - 7/1/12 - Met my lucky charm Alexandra on 3-16-13!!!


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  • hungryhippohungryhippo member
    Ugh. Babies being born around you EDD dates are so hard. I'm sorry you were blindsided with that news. 
    TTC #1 since January 2011
    BFP#1 April 12, 2011, EDD December 24, 2011, strong heart beat at 7w3d, d&c at 10w6d
    BFP#2 Oct 24, 2011, natural miscarriage, EDD unknown
    After RPL testing my losses and subsequent infertility are considered unexplained.
    Cycle #22: Femara, TI, and progesterone = BFP!! 
    BFP#3 Dec 21, 2012. Beta #1 @14dpo = 134, progesterone 67.8. Beta #2 @ 17dpo = 664! Team green, EDD 9/1/13, healthy baby boy born 9/12/13!
    imageimage  My chart.


    Congratulations to the fabulous KGS2003! Her sweet boys are here! Grow boys grow!!!
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  • AquaFlowersAquaFlowers
    *hugs* I'm so sorry.
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  • s.alaries.alarie member
    imagekatharine25:

    DH told me this morning our SIL (his brother) is due at the end of June with her second. His family lives in Israel so I had no Flucking idea she was even pregnant. They agreed not to say anything to me because they didn't think I could handle it. I  know they meant well, but I just feel completely insulted. Like waiting until now makes it any better?!?!?

    And my best friend just had her baby.

    So now not only am I not having a baby next weekend, my first loss has been  sandwiched between two very real and present reminders. 

    Why is it, just when you think you are doing OK - that you've grappled with the *** the world throws at you think you've handled it well, it just shites on you again?

     

    I'm so sorry you're having a rough time. ((hugs))

    To the bolded: it's not that we can't *handle* it. I'm generalizing here, but I'm pretty sure that we can handle anything thrown our way. We just don't want to be blindsided by, "OMG! I'm KTFU!! We weren't even trying/I was on BCP/I can't believe it happened in our first month/I didn't even want to be pregnant right now." STFU, biitches. 

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  • katharine25katharine25 member
    images.alarie:
    imagekatharine25:

    DH told me this morning our SIL (his brother) is due at the end of June with her second. His family lives in Israel so I had no Flucking idea she was even pregnant. They agreed not to say anything to me because they didn't think I could handle it. I  know they meant well, but I just feel completely insulted. Like waiting until now makes it any better?!?!?

    And my best friend just had her baby.

    So now not only am I not having a baby next weekend, my first loss has been  sandwiched between two very real and present reminders. 

    Why is it, just when you think you are doing OK - that you've grappled with the *** the world throws at you think you've handled it well, it just shites on you again?

     

    I'm so sorry you're having a rough time. ((hugs))

    To the bolded: it's not that we can't *handle* it. I'm generalizing here, but I'm pretty sure that we can handle anything thrown our way. We just don't want to be blindsided by, "OMG! I'm KTFU!! We weren't even trying/I was on BCP/I can't believe it happened in our first month/I didn't even want to be pregnant right now." STFU, biitches. 

    Exactly. And DH totally blindsided me with it this AM. I was still in bed, at my brothers house (where I couldn't freak out in private) and it only slipped out because DH was saying his brother is having a hard time dealing with his wife, because she's a  raging hormonal *** rigt now (she's generally really sweet) - why I ask? Oh, because she's having a baby next month. Yay, real tact there DH.

    Married My Love on 6/18/2006
    BFP#1 10/1/2011. Our perfect little girl, Her heart stopped @ 12w1d. D&E 11/23/11
    BFP#2 3/13/12 Weird CP/Possible EP @ 6w0d
    BFP#3 5/28/12 CP @ 5w0d
    BFP/WTF#4 10/26/12 CP
    BFP#5 12/10/12 EDD 8/23/2013
    <3 Baby Boy Born 8/22/13 <3
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  • lsuhoneybadgerlsuhoneybadger member
    I'm sorry Katharine.  Big ((((((hugs))))
    BFP #1:  8/10/11 EDD: 4/9/12 Natural miscarriage @ 7 weeks: 8/20/11
    BFP #2: 8/31/12 EDD: 5/18/13 Chemical pregnancy: 9/4/12
    BFP #3:  5/17/13  EDD: 1/24/14 Loss at 5 weeks: 5/29/13

    image  imageimage

    Lots of testing, all clear with the exception of compound heterozygous for the MTHFR mutation. 

    Cycle 1: Femara, trigger shot, Bravelle added due to slow response = BFN
    Cycle 2: Cancelled due to two cysts =(
    Cycle 3: Femara, Bravelle, trigger shot and IUI = BFP then loss #3
    Cycle 4: Femara, Follistim, trigger shot and IUI = BFP!  EDD: 6/7/14

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    PGAL/PAL welcome
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  • beachbum4304beachbum4304 member
    I'm so sorry! I know that really hurts (hugs)

    BFP 4/4/12 CP 4/10/12

    9/20/2013 Came home with our little miracle from the Philippines

    11/26/2013 Surprise!!! BFP!
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