First of all, thank you so much, girls, for all your kind words, support, and encouragement. I've always deeply appreciated the honesty (in love) this board generates.
The group session went well. When we walked in they had already started (they usually do this, the guest shows up during/after they've had their last "discussion"). I found my self trying to "cover" my belly, then I'd attempt to keep my hands off my belly to not draw any more attention. When it was finally our turn to tell our story I started off by being completely honest and telling them how difficult it was for me to return, not just because of the flood of emotions, but because I didn't want to hurt anyone by my apprearance. After that was out of the way, we started by telling our story of Logan - the loss, the trying to conceive, our relationship, the struggles. This led into our current pregnancy but I was very conscience of talking about how the loss/pregancy were so related rather than just about the pregnancy. They were able to ask questions about all of it. It was like coming full circle for DH and I. Even he, who has always been less open (verbally) about the loss and the struggles, was able to given his perspective and admitted to things that I knew but had never heard him say. In a way, I think I might have gotten more out of it then they did! It was definitely another step in our healing, and in Logan's legacy and I'm very glad we did it. It was nice to be able to talk about Logan and everything we've been through with the mindset and desire of wanting to help offer hope -- not just to talk about it.
Again, thank you so much ladies! I mentioned all of you girls (as a whole of course) and how that I would have been completely lost without you all. I made several references to the "virutal relationships" I've built that mean so much to me and have helped me find some understanding, hope, and healing.
I miss Logan with all my heart. But being there last night, talking about him, seeing how far DH and I have come as a couple, as individuals, and as parents -- it made me feel closer to Logan -- like he was there with me and Ryan cheering us on.