Intro

sarah_e87

I really don't know what to say because I thought I wouldn't have a problem processing things this time around, but since I'm having trouble, I figured I would intro here.

I had my first m/c in February 2008. It may have been that my attention was focused on the other things that were going on in my life at the time, but I handled the emotions and everything pretty well. With this loss, it's been different.

My husband and I had been TTC for about 2 years and were undergoing infertility testing when I got a surprise BFP on March 27th of this year. Betas on March 28th and 30th looked good. Early on the morning of April 1st, I woke up to my clothes and blankets soaked with blood, which sent me into the ER. They confirmed that I was infact miscarrying.

Initially, I felt like I was doing pretty good with the emotions of losing another pregnancy. About a week after, my husband decided to inform me that he wants a divorce. He's given me many reasons for wanting the divorce including my infertility and m/c.

Lately, I've been so angry and hurt about losing a second pregnancy. I don't know how to handle the anger, resentment, broken heart, and grief. I know his decision to leave has definitely made some of the emotions more intense. I'm just at a loss at this point. My way of dealing with these kinds of emotions in the past has been to just throw myself into school, work, etc, but it's not working this time around.

Anyways, I look forward to getting to know you ladies, but wish it was under better circumstances.

Loveniz

I'm so sorry for your loss. My heart hurts for you and all that your going through right now. I know my words won't help the situation, but know we will all listen and offer you support during this difficult time. Many thoughts and prayers for you.

SunshinyLees

I am so sorry for everything you are going through;( Like the pp said, we are here for you if you need our support. Big hugs, xo

KikiCohen

I am so very sorry.  These feelings are absolutely terrible.  I don't know if you've considered counseling or not, but it might be a good idea.  I had to have counseling to take care of some severe anxiety issues, and it really, really helped. 

drlnpaul

I am so sorry for your loss and everything you are going through right now.  The women on this board have been wonderful for me this last week and I hope you find the same.  Please take care of yourself.  My thoughts are with you.

krisztina33

sarah_e87:

Initially, I felt like I was doing pretty good with the emotions of losing another pregnancy. About a week after, my husband decided to inform me that he wants a divorce. He's given me many reasons for wanting the divorce including my infertility and m/c.

Wow.  That is all I can even find to say.  I'm so sorry that he is springing this on you when you are already hurting.  And how awful of him to even relate it to pregnancy.  I don't care if that IS his reasoning (which would make him just mean), now is not the time to express that.

I'm so so sorry for what you are going through.

Take care of yourself.

((hugs))

sarah_e87

I wanted to say thank you for the support, hugs, and kind welcoming words. I had heard wonderful things about the ladies over here back in April.

KikiCohen:

I am so very sorry.  These feelings are absolutely terrible.  I don't know if you've considered counseling or not, but it might be a good idea.  I had to have counseling to take care of some severe anxiety issues, and it really, really helped. 

I've been seeing a therapist on my own for almost 6 months now for different things (including my TTC struggles) and yes, she's trying to help me work through all of this. While therapy has it's good points, it also helps being able to talk to women who understand at least part of what I'm going through.

krisztina33:

Wow. That is all I can even find to say. I'm so sorry that he is springing this on you when you are already hurting. And how awful of him to even relate it to pregnancy. I don't care if that IS his reasoning (which would make him just mean), now is not the time to express that.

I'm so so sorry for what you are going through.

Take care of yourself.

((hugs))

He runs the instant things get hard. I've come to the conclusion that he is just mean. I don't want him to stay if he doesn't want to stay, but he either could have told me in February when he started cheating on me (he still doesn't know that I know about that) or he could have waited a few weeks before telling me. Either way, he definitely kicked me while I was already down.