Do you correct the ex in written form?

Hopeforthebest

DH and BM have a very toxic relationship.They do not speak on the phone whatsoever. This has to be the way to protect and keep everything in writing (text or email).

My question is, if the ex communicates something in a written way, and phrases it accusatory and or misleading, do you reply (politely of course) with the correction rephrasing it the way it REALLY happened or since you have all previous written communication and that can PROVE the way it really happened, just let it go?

 

Sigir

I always correct back even if I have previous communication that proves it wrong, just to be safe.

Of course this results in me being driven crazy by the stupidest emails imaginable.  I might be better off ignoring some of them, but I get paranoid that if I don't respond and correct it, it could be taken as truth.

Hopeforthebest

Sigir:

I always correct back even if I have previous communication that proves it wrong, just to be safe.

Of course this results in me being driven crazy by the stupidest emails imaginable.  I might be better off ignoring some of them, but I get paranoid that if I don't respond and correct it, it could be taken as truth.

EXACTLY where we are at RIGHT now.

riabiron

correct so that the failure to correct isn't interpreted to mean you agree.

CFjo2010

riabiron:

correct so that the failure to correct isn't interpreted to mean you agree.

^^  This.  It's very easy to say, "I'm sorry there seems to be some sort of misunderstanding. {insert what actually happened or was said}  I hope this helps clear things up so we can move forward."  If they continue to fight about the issue, find whatever documentation you have to back it up, or erply with a simple "We'll have to agree to disagree on this matter."  Try not to get to entrenched in the back and forth though.

As PP said, sometimes people (and Courts) see the failure to correct or flat out say "no"to mean consent or agreement. 

Hopeforthebest

Thanks for the replies. I just 2nd guessed my gut instinct for the correction to be made thinking that since it is about such a trivial issue that it may look petty on our part. It's really NOT meant to be, BM just seems to have a way with wording things that ALWAYS makes DH look bad, even when what she is saying is NOT the truth.

Moschic31

One thing to remember, CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES!

Moschic31

One thing to remember, CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES! 

Moschic31

One thing to remember, CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES!  mY

Moschic31

One thing to remember, CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES!  My fiance

Moschic31

One thing to remember, CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES!  My fiance and

CFjo2010

Hopeforthebest:

Thanks for the replies. I just 2nd guessed my gut instinct for the correction to be made thinking that since it is about such a trivial issue that it may look petty on our part. It's really NOT meant to be, BM just seems to have a way with wording things that ALWAYS makes DH look bad, even when what she is saying is NOT the truth.

^^ Truthfully, if it's a trivial issue (such as which house LO stained a shirt), then don't even acknowledge it.  Nitpicking every tiny comment made will look petty on your part.  Pick your battles.  Only correct on the major things (custodial exchanges, swapped weekends, etc.) and ignore the rest.  Rule of thumb: if it doesn't impact your husband's time with his child or the quality of his time with the child, it's not worth bickering over. 

If BM feels the need to bicker about trivial little things that don't really matter (such as LO wearing different shoes home than she showed up in) it's just a sign that she's bitter and insecure, and nitpicking everything that goes on in your home makes her feel superior.  Don't feed into it.