Yearly vent.

Krisx2

No news on the CO situation (in the middle of failed mediation, BM has court order to prevent DH from having SD this summer). BM won't even entertain the notion to allow DH to see SD for Father's day. This situation sucks.

So, my yearly vent. BM has cousins that live near us. Each year they spend some five day weekend around Memorial day at the ski resort lodge by our house. Since SD lives 7 hours away, DH rarely gets to travel to see her "extra" during the year and sometimes goes 5 months without a visit. This year is an exception since we drove to MT to see SD perform 3 weeks ago. But since BM has an order to prevent DH from having summer visitation, worst case scenario is we won't see SD again till Christmas.

Each year we ask BM if we could borrow SD for an hour or two to take her to lunch with us and DD. Each year we get a resounding "NO. She's busy, please don't call or bother us till we are home" type response. It would literally be a 10 minute drive from our house. SD tells us they hang out and play ping pong, swim, or play video games. Nothing that would prevent her from slipping away for an HOUR. Sigh.

DH knows SD will be here this weekend, but he doesn't even want to bother asking BM for a visit. I told him he still should because 1) she might be nice for a change 2) she is violating the parenting plan by saying no which leads to 3) it makes her look bad when we have a CO battle going on.

Anyway, there it is. Time to get over the hurt and move on. Thanks for reading.

CFjo2010

I agree with PP.  Have DH still ask, have BM be a you-know-what and say "no", print out the exchange and when you go to Court provide it as evidence that's she's deliberately alienating SD from him.  In fact, I would even go that extra mile and have DH ask to see SD frequently just so the refusals add up. 

I can't imagine how frustrating this all is for you and your husband.  Can your attorney go in for an emergency hearing to get some sort of temporary resolution?  This can't be good for SD.  Who knows what BM is saying to her during all this.  Just know that in the end, this is all going to bite BM in the ass.  The continued refusal of time with SD is going to make her look unreasonable to the Judge and will tarnish her credibility as it relates to her acting in the best interest of SD.

Littlejen22

What was the reason the judge revoked summer visitation?

CFjo2010

-auntie-:

Time to get over the hurt and move on.

Are you a part of that hurt? Maybe the child's mother would be open to a visit with dad alone. It's not ideal but it would be better for both than nothing at all.

^^ um, no. Why does BM get that kind of power? Absolutely not. If OP and her husband start allowing BM to dictate a step-parent's involvement with visitation, where does it end? Once that precedent is set, it's hard to take back. What happens when there's a recital and BM says, "you can go but SM can't"? Or an event at school and BM decides that OP can't go? Dad is MARRIED. OP isn't just some girlfriend. 

Krisx2

-auntie-:

Time to get over the hurt and move on.

Are you a part of that hurt? Maybe the child's mother would be open to a visit with dad alone. It's not ideal but it would be better for both than nothing at all.

I've been in SD's life for 5 years and am the mother of her bio-sister. So ya, I'm hurt as well. But I work all weekend anyway, so SD, DH, DD would be visiting without me. I have nothing to do with why BM refuses extra parenting time.  

 

Krisx2

jobalchak:

I agree with PP.  Have DH still ask, have BM be a you-know-what and say "no", print out the exchange and when you go to Court provide it as evidence that's she's deliberately alienating SD from him.  In fact, I would even go that extra mile and have DH ask to see SD frequently just so the refusals add up. 

I can't imagine how frustrating this all is for you and your husband.  Can your attorney go in for an emergency hearing to get some sort of temporary resolution?  This can't be good for SD.  Who knows what BM is saying to her during all this.  Just know that in the end, this is all going to bite BM in the ass.  The continued refusal of time with SD is going to make her look unreasonable to the Judge and will tarnish her credibility as it relates to her acting in the best interest of SD.

DH will be asking BM for visit, thanks to all the prodding. DH's attorney has finally answered the phone and he has a meeting with the judge tomorrow to try and get the order revoked. Prayers tomorrow would be appreciated.

Thanks for all the words of encouragement!