Question re: Incident Report(s).

Princess_Lily

How are incident reports handled in your preschool?

- When your LO trips and falls, causing a mark (or none)?  Is a report written and requiring signature by you?

- When you LO gets bitten/scratched/pinched causing (or not causing) any marks/bruises?  Is a report written and requiring signature by you?

- When your LO bites/scratches/pinches another causing (or not causing) any marks/bruises?   Is a report written and requiring signature by you?

the_jackpot

So far we have received incident reports when: ds hit his head, another kid bit him and he hurt himself.

Raspberry807

- When your LO trips and falls, causing a mark (or none)?  Is a report written and requiring signature by you?  Only if they had to administer first aid, like a bandaid or an ice pack

- When you LO gets bitten/scratched/pinched causing (or not causing) any marks/bruises?  Is a report written and requiring signature by you?  Yes, if it required first aid

- When your LO bites/scratches/pinches another causing (or not causing) any marks/bruises?   Is a report written and requiring signature by you?  Yes if it required first aid, or if my DS was disciplined

ETA:  What happened?

Princess_Lily

As of now, over a span of 3 months at this preschool in which we are leaving I have a total of 14 reports.  14.  (all except for 1-3 reports is of him smacking or biting someone, 1 is of him being bitten and 2 are of him falling). 

I have spoken with the pedis and speech therapist he is seeing, and she said she used to work in a preschool, and although quite common for kids (especially with a delay and at this age) to cause disruptive behavior on occasion, getting 14 incident reports in 3 months is a little "extreme" of the the school and that they may be picking on him...she thinks its excessive being written up this much.

I'm just tired of this school...

 

Just. 3. more. days....deep breath. 

 

Andrewsgal

Princess_Lily:

As of now, over a span of 3 months at this preschool in which we are leaving I have a total of 14 reports.  14.  (all except for 1-3 reports is of him smacking or biting someone, 1 is of him being bitten and 2 are of him falling). 

I have spoken with the pedis and speech therapist he is seeing, and she said she used to work in a preschool, and although quite common for kids (especially with a delay and at this age) to cause disruptive behavior on occasion, getting 14 incident reports in 3 months is a little "extreme" of the the school and that they may be picking on him...she thinks its excessive being written up this much.

I'm just tired of this school...

 

Just. 3. more. days....deep breath. 

 

Let me give you the other side of the picture. DS is in a preschool class with a child who has special needs. He is the one getting hit/bit. I am lucky he is so verbal or I would never know. As a parent I demanded this stuff start being documented on both ends so that I receive a report and the parent of the offender does also. This school is probably trying to cover their own butt, and does not sound like a good fit for your child.

rsd12

With my oldest, they never had incident reports (church school). My middle son goes to our town's collaborative preschool for a speech delay. I find it funny all the reports he has received and I have needed to sign; ) he has never been in trouble, but has had a few bumps with his friends or his hand was stepped on by accident, or he fell at gym class. His teachers has reassured me this is normal and knowing he is a bit clumsy does not help! As far as whether or not he is having a good day and listening we get a daily repot with a smiley face, straight face, or sad face. So if he was misbehaving they would circle the sad face. My son has only received smiley faces, and he loves checking at the end of the day for his smiley face! So I guess it would depend on what the incident reports are for.

roxy_jj

We would receive incident reports for all of the scenarios you listed.  We have received incident reports for the first two.  We do not have to sign the incident reports. 

jenn_darrin1515

Princess_Lily:

As of now, over a span of 3 months at this preschool in which we are leaving I have a total of 14 reports.  14.  (all except for 1-3 reports is of him smacking or biting someone, 1 is of him being bitten and 2 are of him falling). 

I have spoken with the pedis and speech therapist he is seeing, and she said she used to work in a preschool, and although quite common for kids (especially with a delay and at this age) to cause disruptive behavior on occasion, getting 14 incident reports in 3 months is a little "extreme" of the the school and that they may be picking on him...she thinks its excessive being written up this much.

I'm just tired of this school...

 

Just. 3. more. days....deep breath. 

 

we left our inhome dcp for a similar experience...one of my dd's was speech delayed, and would hit out of frustration for sure, (but so did her sister)...however every day her report was negative - if it didn't say she hit or tried to hit, it said she needed reminding to use her words, cried at lunch, etc...etc.  it always had a negative spin...

I don't doubt the need to document everything in a childcare situation (where hitting and biting is concerned)...but having been in a similar situation, I do think some childcare providers are not adequately prepared to handle some children's needs (and don't have the patience either)...and it very negatively impacts the situation...like a bad self fulfilling prophecy of sorts...glad to hear you are moving on from this place...

jlw2505

I would get a written report for each of the examples you listed and the teacher, if still at school, would also verbally tell me what happened.  The report would be signed by the teacher that was the witness and the director and I would sign it at pickup.  I get a copy and the center keeps a copy on file.

RoxBride

Any injury that leaves a mark or scratch is a written report, as is anything requiring first aid like a band aid or ice pack.

Any bite is an incident report on the child who bit. As is any physical contact that results in injury or likely could (a big shove).

Any child who had behavior that warrants a punishment or time out gets written up.

Littlejen22

Princess_Lily:

As of now, over a span of 3 months at this preschool in which we are leaving I have a total of 14 reports.  14.  (all except for 1-3 reports is of him smacking or biting someone, 1 is of him being bitten and 2 are of him falling). 

I have spoken with the pedis and speech therapist he is seeing, and she said she used to work in a preschool, and although quite common for kids (especially with a delay and at this age) to cause disruptive behavior on occasion, getting 14 incident reports in 3 months is a little "extreme" of the the school and that they may be picking on him...she thinks its excessive being written up this much.

I'm just tired of this school...

 

Just. 3. more. days....deep breath. 

 

Mare you implying that the other parent should not be told if their child was hit or bitten?  And you do not want to be told that your kid is biting and hitting?  My FS was delayed in speech and he never hit or bit but I sure as hell would want to know and when he was bitten 3 times by one kid I left the daycare that was not protecting him. I understand you are frustrated but it should be bc of the behavior and not that they tell you. If he is doing it that often they should have expelled him, our pre-school has a 3 strikes.  

Princess_Lily

This morning, I printed out a set of "rules" for the home which includes no aggressive behavior, sharing, etc.  The problems could be stemming from me, and not following through at home with discipline, it could be the preschool, or it could be a combination of both.  The good thing is DS responds well with timeouts, unless he is exhausted or has a sugar drop.

This summer, we will be "cracking down" on all behavior issues as well as his speech development...hopefully by fall his new school will be different.  DH and I spoke, and although we are quite concerned about these behaviors, we will be dedicating ourselves to working with DS to behave better. 

 

If through all of our efforts and the change into a new school dynamic doesn't stop, then we will look into a behavior evaluation for him. 

Andrewsgal

Princess_Lily:

This morning, I printed out a set of "rules" for the home which includes no aggressive behavior, sharing, etc.  The problems could be stemming from me, and not following through at home with discipline, it could be the preschool, or it could be a combination of both.  The good thing is DS responds well with timeouts, unless he is exhausted or has a sugar drop.

This summer, we will be "cracking down" on all behavior issues as well as his speech development...hopefully by fall his new school will be different.  DH and I spoke, and although we are quite concerned about these behaviors, we will be dedicating ourselves to working with DS to behave better. 

 

If through all of our efforts and the change into a new school dynamic doesn't stop, then we will look into a behavior evaluation for him. 

A few things to consider

1. This behavior is not okay, I don't agree with your speech path that this is typical of a three year old with a speech delay but even if it was typical it is NOT acceptable.

2. You say you are going to work on it this summer, but that is essentially pointless if he is out of the environment the behavior happens. How are you going to work on him hitting his peers when he is not around his peers? You said one of your home rules is share, how do you plan to model and teach this?

3. It sound like you are dealing with some behavior issues. You brought in a professional for speech, why not behavior? Admit what you don't know and go from there. 

 

Littlejen22

Andrewsgal:

Princess_Lily:

This morning, I printed out a set of "rules" for the home which includes no aggressive behavior, sharing, etc.  The problems could be stemming from me, and not following through at home with discipline, it could be the preschool, or it could be a combination of both.  The good thing is DS responds well with timeouts, unless he is exhausted or has a sugar drop.

This summer, we will be "cracking down" on all behavior issues as well as his speech development...hopefully by fall his new school will be different.  DH and I spoke, and although we are quite concerned about these behaviors, we will be dedicating ourselves to working with DS to behave better. 

 

If through all of our efforts and the change into a new school dynamic doesn't stop, then we will look into a behavior evaluation for him. 

A few things to consider

1. This behavior is not okay, I don't agree with your speech path that this is typical of a three year old with a speech delay but even if it was typical it is NOT acceptable.

2. You say you are going to work on it this summer, but that is essentially pointless if he is out of the environment the behavior happens. How are you going to work on him hitting his peers when he is not around his peers? You said one of your home rules is share, how do you plan to model and teach this?

3. It sound like you are dealing with some behavior issues. You brought in a professional for speech, why not behavior? Admit what you don't know and go from there. 

 

This. And 14 issues in 3 months mostly hitting and biting is not normal. The fact that you think they should not be writing this up makes me think you are in denial and feel it is normal. If you kid was hit and bit 14 times but it never drew blood would you want to know?  If I were the director he would have been expelled months ago. 

LoCarb

With the older child she only gets incident reports if they require 1st aid. Other issues like hitting by her or another child will sometimes be told to me verbally at pick up. 

DD2 (age 1) gets incident reports weekly b/c she get bitten A LOT! Or if she fell and there is a noticeable mark on her.They are in the school computer.

I've had signed the reports but mostly they are just for my knowledge. I was told this a.m.(as I picked up another biting report-DD2 had 4) that some kids have a big file on them. I think at my DC they only give the hitting/biting reports to ppl who are too young to use words.  Also if your child is the offender, I'm pretty sure incident reports are written up to notify the parent of the behavior.

 

shellybird101

If it is a BIG deal(falls, bruises, bites, scratches that need attending) then an report is written up, but sometime we will explain what has happened,(Your son was reading a book and recieved a paper cut, or your child tripped on the playground and scratched his elbow), we also explain what we did to comfort child, (area was washed and band-aid was applied.)  Then ask if they want a report.  90% of the time they say NO and off they go.  We do ALWAYS tell the parents what happened either through a e-mail or face to face.

Jena503

Andrewsgal:

Princess_Lily:

This morning, I printed out a set of "rules" for the home which includes no aggressive behavior, sharing, etc.  The problems could be stemming from me, and not following through at home with discipline, it could be the preschool, or it could be a combination of both.  The good thing is DS responds well with timeouts, unless he is exhausted or has a sugar drop.

This summer, we will be "cracking down" on all behavior issues as well as his speech development...hopefully by fall his new school will be different.  DH and I spoke, and although we are quite concerned about these behaviors, we will be dedicating ourselves to working with DS to behave better. 

 

If through all of our efforts and the change into a new school dynamic doesn't stop, then we will look into a behavior evaluation for him. 

A few things to consider

1. This behavior is not okay, I don't agree with your speech path that this is typical of a three year old with a speech delay but even if it was typical it is NOT acceptable.

2. You say you are going to work on it this summer, but that is essentially pointless if he is out of the environment the behavior happens. How are you going to work on him hitting his peers when he is not around his peers? You said one of your home rules is share, how do you plan to model and teach this?

3. It sound like you are dealing with some behavior issues. You brought in a professional for speech, why not behavior? Admit what you don't know and go from there. 

 

I agree with Andrewsgal. Especialy on #3. I'm shocked that they didn't kick him out already and I'm guessing the fact that they knew he was leaving at the end of May was a big reason why.

I've had maybe 4 incident reports on my kids in the last 3 years. Biting is pretty common in the under 2 room (happened to DD twice), but pretty rare in the 2yo room and unheard of in the 3yo room. It's just not normal behavior for that age. I understand that your DS is speech delayed, but I would be pretty livid if my kids had to get hit and bit because someone else was frustrated.

I do not think they are picking on your kid as you seem to imply. You need to be aware of exactly what is going on and how he is acting out. They have absolutely no motivation to write up incidents that didn't happen.

ETA: I noticed your ticker that he's not quite 3, so younger than I was thinking. His behavior still seems pretty concerning but not completely unheard of. I still think you should try to get behavioral help.

ridesbuttons

Princess_Lily:

As of now, over a span of 3 months at this preschool in which we are leaving I have a total of 14 reports.  14.  (all except for 1-3 reports is of him smacking or biting someone, 1 is of him being bitten and 2 are of him falling). 

I have spoken with the pedis and speech therapist he is seeing, and she said she used to work in a preschool, and although quite common for kids (especially with a delay and at this age) to cause disruptive behavior on occasion, getting 14 incident reports in 3 months is a little "extreme" of the the school and that they may be picking on him...she thinks its excessive being written up this much.

The bolded parts seem like reasonable write ups.

You need to know what your kid is doing if you are going to address it properly.  Yeah, I get that you don't want to get the write ups, but the alternative is skipping through your day thinking everything is hunky-dorey and then one day WHAMMO.  Your kid is expelled and you are wondering why nobody told you there were any problems.

My kids were both speech delay.  DS2 had zero words prior to the age of 2, and really only a handful by 2.5.  He never bit, he never hit.  You cannot blame a speech delay as the sole reason for undesirable behaviour.  You might have to look deeper, or more clearly at your son for what is driving the behaviours.

Good luck.

 

auburnbride2be

I think I get incident reports mainly when something happens that leaves a noticable mark, bruise, scratch, bump, etc.

Blackvelvet

We would recieve a report for any bitting incidents and for pushing/shoving that could casue problems also anything that casued a mark or need for first aid.  DS was almost always the one on the recieving end he got hit and bit all the time only one incident of him bitting and the girl took his toy out of his hand.  I was happy to know that they were watching and could remove any child that was often hurting my son although after the 5 bite in less them two weeks from the same kid they still didn't seperate wish the other kid had to leave it's not nice to have to deal with bites and bruses every night

 

stdldb29

My DS was non-verbal for a very long time. It is very hard to express what you need when you cannot speak. We never dealt with behavior issues because we were very, very consistent with discipline in our home. He can now speak and does so pretty well.  He hit two times at daycare, and I came over immediately after he hit the second time, and he never hit again after that. (And that is completely normal for kids that age to hit) 

 I know it is tough, but remember that the teachers probably weren't trying to pick on your child, just covering their butts. Good luck!