Few questions from a new SP

tabithawoolf

    I recently became a single parent and i have a few questions/concerns.

   The father and i are talking about cs and visitation. He works 6 days a week 8-6 and only off on sundays. 99% of the time he stays way past 6. He will be living with his mom until our lease is over in October but his mom has never wanted to be a part of our daughters life...and she used to do meth. I am not sure if she still does or not, but she has never treated my daughter or myself with respect and i don't want her around her.

  I would like to have supervised visitation if they end up going by the standard schedule, but is there any way to make that happen when talking to a lawyer?

   Also, at what age can the child stay overnight? My daughter is only 5 months and i was the one that took care of her mainly. He also has another son with someone else that he sees every weekend but hardly has time to take care of him as well. He's very immature, drinks, etc and i don't feel like he would be a fit parent raising her by himself.

  Any reccomendations on what i should do? Thanks in advance.

supermansmommy

First, you need to seek legal counsel in your state. Most family law attorneys offer free consultations or if there is a fee, it's minimal. My state has guidelines for typical visitation based on a child's age and developmental needs.  They also require that parents of minor children take a parenting class. However exceptions can be made for extenuating circumstances such as schedule, or parental "fitness". Bottom line is, as the mother of an infant you're very very likely to be granted primary custody. You can request that there not be any overnight or unsupervised visits until the child is a certain age in part because of the needs of and care required for an infant as well as the father's work schedule and living arrangements. You can ask for wahtever you want in your custody papers, whether you'll get it is another story. But it doesn't hurt to ask.

tabithawoolf

I actually have an appt with a attorney on friday so i will be sure to ask her those things.

 I am not worried about who would get custody, i know for sure i would. I am just worried about his mother being able to be around her when she shouldn't be.

 What happened with his other child is the mother wrote what she wanted to happen and they ended up going to court because he didnt agree to her terms. She basically wanted him to agree that he would never bring him around me until shes comfortable and she told him that she could take his son away if he didn't agree. Long story short, he was so scared she could take him away because even though he was on cs, he had no set visitation so we ended up ending our relationship over it because he would leave one kid to be with the other.  They didnt have a set visitation schedule and she pawns their son off to him or whoever else every weekend so she can go out and party. I don't want to do that. I want it done the standard and correct way. I just want to be sure that she will be taken care of by him when he has her, and not his mother.

 I am hoping that the judge will limit his visitation since he works all weekend every weekend.

kayladay

tabithawoolf:

 

 I am not worried about who would get custody, i know for sure i would. I am just worried about his mother being able to be around her when she shouldn't be.

Why shouldn't his mother be around her?

I have sole custody of our son and he has supervised visitation, when I want him to see him.

kayladay

Okay, I see that you said she has done meth, sorry I missed that part. Do you have proof she had done it? Because, at least where I am from, there is a grandparents law and they have a legal right to see the grandchildren. But in my case STBXHs mother has been in and out of rehab etc. so she doesn't have that right anymore.

tabithawoolf

kayladay:

tabithawoolf:

 

 I am not worried about who would get custody, i know for sure i would. I am just worried about his mother being able to be around her when she shouldn't be.

Why shouldn't his mother be around her?

I have sole custody of our son and he has supervised visitation, when I want him to see him.

 

His mother used to do meth {i was told she still does, but i have never confirmed that} and she has never wanted to be a part of my daughter's life. How did you get supervised visitation approved?

kayladay

Because I knew he was doing drugs at the time. So I just told the lawyer I wanted supervised visitation for him and she put them in the papers.. well he didn't even read the papers and just signed them. BUT I told him what all was in them and he still signed. It was probably because he knew he wouldn't want to go to court over it all. I don't want him around our son by himself if he is doing drugs or drinking etc. and I don't trust that he would be sober when he has the baby.