It's coming...

StephK86

The day my baby boy first died is coming. Memorial day is when he died at my house, was revived and officially died June 1st. I am a big mess and have been since May (His birthday was April 28th). What is really ticking me off is my family is planning my cousin's grad party on Sunday and a Memorial Day party on Monday. I know I will get all kinds of snotty remarks if I don't go, especially since they can't get enough of my rainbow baby.

My long time friend had her baby yesterday and all these emotions are coming back to me. At this time two years ago my baby was alive. Right around this time actually her and I were taking him for his first walk.

Sorry for the rant I just really needed to get that out to woman who understand. Thanks for reading.

**I am sorry I always post here before work and never at home. I have either been crazy busy during the evenings or hiding in my room crying.

karebear57

I am so sorry! (((Hugs))) It's sad that your family think that since you have your rainbow baby your "all better" and should be fine. I will be sending you lots of *hugs*!  You will be in my thoughts!

Petunia844

ClaireFraser1:

I'm sorry that your support system won't understand you skipping the parties, but I don't think you should take action based on what those idiots will do/think.  If you can't go to the parties then don't.  You always have to take care of yourself first.  ((hugs))

This.  

johnnys june

Petunia844:

ClaireFraser1:

I'm sorry that your support system won't understand you skipping the parties, but I don't think you should take action based on what those idiots will do/think.  If you can't go to the parties then don't.  You always have to take care of yourself first.  ((hugs))

This.  

This x3!

*hugs*

pottermommy

I am so so sorry, I don't know which is worse the birthdays or the angelversaries. 

I think that if you need to stay home that you should, whether they understand or not.  In fact if you needed to you could see if your parents wanted to take the baby with them to the party so you could have a little time for yourself and your angel. 

I know that alot of times our rainbows help us deal and cope but sometimes they make it hard to grieve when you really really want or need to. 

I hope you are able to do whatever it is that will help you through this time, I hate that both of your boys can't be here with you and that you have to go through this at all. 

Huge hugs, oh and if you get any snotty remarks give them an evil stare and remind them what this day means to you, they aren't the only people in the universe and sometimes their events are the only important things.  You matter and so do your feelings. 

Bug hugs!

StephK86

Thanks girls! You are all absolutely right that I need to take care of myself first. My family often tries to act like their grief is just as bad as mine. Yes, they lost a big part of them too but he was MY son. MY sorrow is much more deeper, painful and stronger then any of theirs.

I already said to my mom today I don't think I will be attending either party on Sunday or Monday. She feels I would be better off with my family then all alone. I asked her "So if I need to burst out crying, then that will be just fine?" She said of course you can cry. Yeah that's just what I want to do ruin my family's day (including children) by crying my eyes out.

I know they mean well but sometimes they can be so frustrating.

 

That's a good idea pottermommy I could let them take Blake and go spend some time at the cemetery.

barbie92

I'm so sorry ((big hugs))