Ugh. My first "milestone" is coming up this week and I want a drink.

DebateThis

I should be taking my MIL to my 12 w ultrasound this week and she was so incredibly excited to go along. Instead, we're still waiting on my genetic testing results and my MIL is taking me shopping for patio furniture instead. Somehow, not as exciting.

My counselor said that I need to work on getting past the "I should be ___" thoughts bc they aren't healthy, but this one is weighing on me. Time for a drink.

 

VikingQueen

::passes over a drink:: ((hugs)) I'm sorry sweetie.. I still have the "should bes" and I'm almost 2 years out from my loss. I wish it was just as easy as they think to not think about it.

sammer818

*HUGS* Sometimes thinking about the milestones and the "I should bes..." is just unavoidable.

On a side note, what type of patio furniture? Wicker? Metal? Lounge set?

millejj1

Milestones suck.

Enjoy your drink and I hope you can at least salvage the day by finding some great deals on your furniture.

DebateThis

sammer818:

*HUGS* Sometimes thinking about the milestones and the "I should bes..." is just unavoidable.

On a side note, what type of patio furniture? Wicker? Metal? Lounge set?

Yeah, I think you're right.

I'm thinking metal patio set - probably a dining table and chairs but a lounge set sounds dreamy too. FIL and DH are finishing up a new brick patio in our back yard and the patio set will be the finishing touches... I've seen too many people have their glass tables break so my only "no" at this point is no glass table. Beyond that, I think I need to investigate a few in person first. Any suggestions?

glowstix4

Sorry. Milestones are hard. I'm joining you in a drink though

EKGibs

((((hugs))))

VikingQueen

DebateThis:

sammer818:

*HUGS* Sometimes thinking about the milestones and the "I should bes..." is just unavoidable.

On a side note, what type of patio furniture? Wicker? Metal? Lounge set?

Yeah, I think you're right.

I'm thinking metal patio set - probably a dining table and chairs but a lounge set sounds dreamy too. FIL and DH are finishing up a new brick patio in our back yard and the patio set will be the finishing touches... I've seen too many people have their glass tables break so my only "no" at this point is no glass table. Beyond that, I think I need to investigate a few in person first. Any suggestions?

yeah I totally dropped my glass table top to my set the other day and it shatter. Will not be getting one with a glass top again.

csspencer

I should be 29 weeks on Wednesday, I should be in my 3rd trimester, I should be going to my dr every 2 weeks, I should be helping my family plan my shower...everyone does the I should be thing. Is it healthy, probably not the healthiest, but it is what it is. I will tell you though that now I actually have to think about what week I should be. And if it wasn't for a stupid email a few weeks ago, I would really have to think hard about what week I should be. So, it does get easier. And shopping is always fun, have fun shopping for patio furniture.

MeganS313

Have the drink...or two, or three.  I still do the what ifs..I think its impossible not to.  Allow yourself to heal.  And have fun shopping!

DaisyZH

I'm sorry, that really sucks.  Milestones are so hard.  (( hugs ))

buckeyebaby814

::HUGS::

Getting those what-ifs out of your head are difficult.  I hope the furniture shopping is a welcome distraction! 

bananers

ncchnat:

Milestones suck and I'd like to see your therapist not focus on them if she was in your shoes. It may not be healthy, but none of us are going to forget these babies we've lost and we're always going to remember the milestones and anniversaries. Enjoy that drink; you've earned it! Also, try to have fun with your MIL tomorrow.

All of this. ((big hugs)) 

KDS1987

I am only 6 months out so I can't say this with great authority, but I am pretty sure you will always have those "should be's" in your mind. It happens as it would with any other loss, you are obviously not going to forget your child. In my own experience, the should be's are a little fewer and farther between now. It still hurts to think about but there is less of a sting. You will have milestones that will knock you on your @ss, as long as you get back up it is probably normal (I say probably because I only took intro to psych in college... I have no effing idea what normal is).

And to that I say enjoy a drink! When you get your patio set, enjoy another drink outside! 

 

minicheezburg

I am sorry honey, I still do the I should be this and that. I am a year and a half since my loss. I wish I could give you a big hug and an even bigger margarita.

AngnShaun

{{hugs}}.... Yes, those thoughts are really really bad.  Not that it stops me.  Im coming up on my 2nd anniversary of my 1st edd... Its actually easier now with so many losses.  i could be just about every stage of pregnancy so i can barely keep track anymore.

Mrs.E.07

I'm sorry.I know how you feel though. I've been trying so hard not to think about the milestones, but I should've been 20 weeks today, so that's been hard. I try to put it out of my mind, but it keeps creeping back in there.