Need help lost and don't know what to do. — The Bump
Postpartum Depression

Need help lost and don't know what to do.

Hi, I am new first time posting, I am due in one week (having a c-section) and I have an overwhelming feeling of not wanting to be a mom. I am married and this was planned I however have been feeling this way throughout. I find myself planning an exit. Adoption is not a choice as my husband is over the moon. At week 23 we had to stop talking about my feelings with his as he gets SO mad. Everyone is so happy and excited and all I do is sit home and cry most days and don't want to talk to anyone. I am wishing there was a rewind button. I just want it to be my husband and I. I don't want to be a mom. Don't know if anyone has ever felt this way but I thought I would give it a go. Sorry if I have bothered you. Thanks. 

Re: Need help lost and don't know what to do.

  • Aww, Momma.  I am SO sorry that you feel this way.  Sometimes it's overwhelming to think that you'll be responsible for a LO, that you'll be FOREVER tied to this little person.  But- in my experience- it's SO worth it.  After our DD was born I wasn't sure if I was up for this. Like you, we planned this and were looking forward to it, but between the hormones, depression and sleep deprivation I was at a loss. This is by far the BEST thing I have ever done (and I've done ALOT in my life...). Seeing her smile is a gift. 

    It seems like you're feeling anxious. Talk to your OB. See about talking to a therapist. There has to be reasons why you feel this way. Something is underneath your feelings. You might need some meds. Whatever you need to do, do it. Get healthy for yourself and your baby. 

    Keeping you in my thoughts... Wishing you happiness.

    Married my Best Friend on 7/8/07 Welcomed our very own Little Miracle on 2/9/12 Life is GOOD...
  • please hang in there..nothing to be ashamed of. Talk to your OB candidly about this. Could be the start of post-partum depression. Usually it comes with anxiety too, feelings of overwhelming dread, or insurmountable work..etc. Once baby is born, they may put you on anti-depressants. You will be ok . I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I remember all too well feeling the same way over 4 yrs. ago with my first born. HANG in there and keep talking!


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  • I felt the same way you did when I was pregnant, and now that I've given birth (15 days ago), I hear you. It is overwhelming - and I haven't even really gotten up in the middle of the night yet! (I had a c-section, so we had help for the first 2 weeks and my husband has basically gotten up for all the night feedings the past 2 days.)

    I love my little girl - please don't get me wrong - but I have *no clue* how I'm going to handle all of this and, quite frankly, find the caregiving aspect boring and frustrating. But these are concerns I had throughout my pregnancy and I think the hormone surge is just exacerbating it. My husband keeps reminding me that this will pass and most women go through some form of it so it's OK to burst into tears because he got up with her both times last night and I decided that meant I am doing a terrible job.... Or whatever other "crazy" things I might do today...

    Sorry - I just used this response for my own therapy. Sad That wasn't cool.

    So back to you. As the PP's said, meds or talking to your OB might help. (I've been on antidepressants for a while - both before and after pregnancy - so I knew I was at a higher risk for PPD then other women.) And I know it makes your husband crazy to hear how you feel, but it might do you a world of good if he were more able to hear you out about this. It can make a person feel guilty to think that their feelings are unnacceptable, even though I'm sure this isn't what he actually means when he doesn't want to talk about it. Maybe you could try talking to him again, too?

    Sending you lots and lots of hugs.

  • For your husband:  try The Postpartum Husband.  It is a super clear and easy read, and it really helped my husband (and my mom actually...) 

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