So frustrated

KristenFMR

My SS has the most psychotic BM ever!!! Her new thing is that she does not want SS around my parents.  He has had a wonderful relationship with them for many years and they treat him so amazingly!  He even calls them Grandma and Grandpa.  Well she put an end to that and told him he was not allowed.  Which is fine with me I don't really care what he calls them.  Now she has a court order saying that SS cannot be around my parents anymore because he is uncomfortable around them.  She peppered him to tell his gaurdian ad lietem that he is uncomfortable at their house.  When we talked to him about it he broke down and said his mom doesn't want him to like them and tells him they are not his family.  It's driven from pure jealousy she is the same way about his relationship with me.  So my parents are heartborken because they are so close to him and he now feels akward around them. 

 Why do these insecure witches think they can hurt their children because of their spite and jealousy?

FutureMrsWittig

Can your H contact the guardian ad litem and take SS back to see them?  He needs to work with his attorney to get that order repealed.

So sad for your little SS.  Internet hugs his way...

jnjmommy0609

This is when your husband needs to take this all to lawyer. The mom is an insecure control freak and that is not a good reason to take the son away from people he loves.

NJ_girl

Is that how it works - - the G.A.L just listens to one side and doesn't hear from the other parent?  Wow, what's the point? 

I think your husband should contact the GAL and tell his side of the story - how BM is just jealous and told her son what to say.  At least have the GAL talk with SS again and tell him what he says will be confidential.  After all, if he has been spending time with them for years, that should count for something.

"Uncomfortable?"  was he suggesting they were pedophiles or abusive?  That directive seems like a restraining order against your parents.   What's going to happen when you have family events?  Are you going to have to leave SS home for Thanksgiving?  Not invite your parents to family events? 

I'm so sorry.  You would think people would want their children welcomed into a family and would be grateful that your parents care about him. 

KristenFMR

NJ_girl:

Is that how it works - - the G.A.L just listens to one side and doesn't hear from the other parent?  Wow, what's the point? 

I think your husband should contact the GAL and tell his side of the story - how BM is just jealous and told her son what to say.  At least have the GAL talk with SS again and tell him what he says will be confidential.  After all, if he has been spending time with them for years, that should count for something.

"Uncomfortable?"  was he suggesting they were pedophiles or abusive?  That directive seems like a restraining order against your parents.   What's going to happen when you have family events?  Are you going to have to leave SS home for Thanksgiving?  Not invite your parents to family events? 

I'm so sorry.  You would think people would want their children welcomed into a family and would be grateful that your parents care about him. 

Well the gaurdian ad liet just talks to the child. BM asked him to be appointed which we were really upset with because we did not want stepson being drug into the middle of things, since the hearing was primarily over child support and that seemed silly to involve a child that young and make them choose sides.  We were not sure what he meant by uncomfortable, our initial though was the same as yours that sounds really offensive.  When we talked to stepson he said that he was bored the last time he was over there because the baseball was deflated and their pump was not working.  So we said that is a lot different from being uncomfortable and that is when he broke down and said his Mom made him feel bad for going over there.  We contacted our lawyer and he is reaching out to BM's lawyer to clarify the details.  It's just so upsetting especially after my parents have gone above and beyond to make stepson feel equal to my son in every way. 

CFjo2010

Wow. This is so incredibly disgusting. I?m so deeply sorry that your family is going through this. I can?t believe a Court would order that a child not be allowed around their step-family. I can understand if the Court had said he couldn?t be there "unsupervised", but not at all? And there wasn?t any sort of evidentiary hearing regarding this? Disgusting. Talk about a complete abortion of justice. And for BM to deliberately torment her child and essentially brainwash him just so she can feel better has to be some sort of abuse. Has any sort of psychological evaluation been conducted? Now might be a great time to request one. They?re pretty expensive, but they?re incredibly thorough and what?s genuinely in the child?s best interests will be recommended to the Court.

I really hope your husband can get this overturned. If nothing else, at least have the order phrased that SS cannot be around the grandparents unsupervised. All this is going to do is prolong his adjustment to the new family and cause him to have some serious trust issues regarding his mother later on. I think that?s the saddest part in all of this, SS?s long-term relationship with his mother is going to be forever tarnished. He will most likely grow up resenting and hating her for alienating him from people who love and care about him.

Phantomgirl

Are you saying that the court amended the CO to specifically say your SS cannot be around your parents?  And that it specifically names them?  As in SS cannot be in the company of John and Jane Smith?

I find this hard to believe. 

OR are you saying that this is what SS told the GAL and it is in the GAL report?

I cannot see how this would be worded / added to a CO as your DH has the right to parent his son on days he is with him.  I am sure that is in yoru CO.

I get ROFR in that your SS could not be left with them without first giving BM the option BUT I don't get how he cannot be around them???

Maybe I'm not understanding your post???  Do you actually have a copy of the new CO with this amendment?

 

KristenFMR

Phantomgirl:

Are you saying that the court amended the CO to specifically say your SS cannot be around your parents?  And that it specifically names them?  As in SS cannot be in the company of John and Jane Smith?

I find this hard to believe. 

OR are you saying that this is what SS told the GAL and it is in the GAL report?

I cannot see how this would be worded / added to a CO as your DH has the right to parent his son on days he is with him.  I am sure that is in yoru CO.

I get ROFR in that your SS could not be left with them without first giving BM the option BUT I don't get how he cannot be around them???

Maybe I'm not understanding your post???  Do you actually have a copy of the new CO with this amendment?

 

My husband was talking with the lawyer yesterday and wanted the specifics on what this meant as in does this mean that stepson can never see my parents.  My lawyer sorted it out with her lawyer and came to the point where he can see my parents when we are there with him but he cannot do anything with them if we are not around.  My kids usually go over there every weekend to spend the night one night.  I always ask my SS if he wants to go or stay with us and he says he wants to go.  Now he will not be able to go and I think it's so sad that his brother will be able to go and he has no choice he has to stay behind.  I don't think he realized the consequences of lying for his Mom.  Poor kiddo!

CFjo2010

KristenFMR:

Phantomgirl:

Are you saying that the court amended the CO to specifically say your SS cannot be around your parents?  And that it specifically names them?  As in SS cannot be in the company of John and Jane Smith?

I find this hard to believe. 

OR are you saying that this is what SS told the GAL and it is in the GAL report?

I cannot see how this would be worded / added to a CO as your DH has the right to parent his son on days he is with him.  I am sure that is in yoru CO.

I get ROFR in that your SS could not be left with them without first giving BM the option BUT I don't get how he cannot be around them???

Maybe I'm not understanding your post???  Do you actually have a copy of the new CO with this amendment?

 

My husband was talking with the lawyer yesterday and wanted the specifics on what this meant as in does this mean that stepson can never see my parents.  My lawyer sorted it out with her lawyer and came to the point where he can see my parents when we are there with him but he cannot do anything with them if we are not around.  My kids usually go over there every weekend to spend the night one night.  I always ask my SS if he wants to go or stay with us and he says he wants to go.  Now he will not be able to go and I think it's so sad that his brother will be able to go and he has no choice he has to stay behind.  I don't think he realized the consequences of lying for his Mom.  Poor kiddo!

No, he can still go.  You or your husband just need to go as well.  Is this inconvenient?  Yes.  Is it completely stupid?  Yes.  Does it suck?  Yes.  But unfortunately until this nonsense gets sorted out you and your husband will have to just spend that extra time at your parents' house so that SS still gets to bond with them.  So spend the night at your parents' house with the kids.  There's nothing in the CO saying you have to be in the same exact room as SS, right?  So use that loophole.  Let the kids have a campout in the backyard and you stay inside.  Let the kiddos do something with Grandma and Grandpa downstairs or in another room while you and your husband watch a movie elsewhere.  Make it work.  SS will be grateful and BM will see that her stupid little games are just making your family stronger.

KristenFMR

jobalchak:

KristenFMR:

Phantomgirl:

Are you saying that the court amended the CO to specifically say your SS cannot be around your parents?  And that it specifically names them?  As in SS cannot be in the company of John and Jane Smith?

I find this hard to believe. 

OR are you saying that this is what SS told the GAL and it is in the GAL report?

I cannot see how this would be worded / added to a CO as your DH has the right to parent his son on days he is with him.  I am sure that is in yoru CO.

I get ROFR in that your SS could not be left with them without first giving BM the option BUT I don't get how he cannot be around them???

Maybe I'm not understanding your post???  Do you actually have a copy of the new CO with this amendment?

 

My husband was talking with the lawyer yesterday and wanted the specifics on what this meant as in does this mean that stepson can never see my parents.  My lawyer sorted it out with her lawyer and came to the point where he can see my parents when we are there with him but he cannot do anything with them if we are not around.  My kids usually go over there every weekend to spend the night one night.  I always ask my SS if he wants to go or stay with us and he says he wants to go.  Now he will not be able to go and I think it's so sad that his brother will be able to go and he has no choice he has to stay behind.  I don't think he realized the consequences of lying for his Mom.  Poor kiddo!

No, he can still go.  You or your husband just need to go as well.  Is this inconvenient?  Yes.  Is it completely stupid?  Yes.  Does it suck?  Yes.  But unfortunately until this nonsense gets sorted out you and your husband will have to just spend that extra time at your parents' house so that SS still gets to bond with them.  So spend the night at your parents' house with the kids.  There's nothing in the CO saying you have to be in the same exact room as SS, right?  So use that loophole.  Let the kids have a campout in the backyard and you stay inside.  Let the kiddos do something with Grandma and Grandpa downstairs or in another room while you and your husband watch a movie elsewhere.  Make it work.  SS will be grateful and BM will see that her stupid little games are just making your family stronger.

KristenFMR

jobalchak:

KristenFMR:

Phantomgirl:

Are you saying that the court amended the CO to specifically say your SS cannot be around your parents?  And that it specifically names them?  As in SS cannot be in the company of John and Jane Smith?

I find this hard to believe. 

OR are you saying that this is what SS told the GAL and it is in the GAL report?

I cannot see how this would be worded / added to a CO as your DH has the right to parent his son on days he is with him.  I am sure that is in yoru CO.

I get ROFR in that your SS could not be left with them without first giving BM the option BUT I don't get how he cannot be around them???

Maybe I'm not understanding your post???  Do you actually have a copy of the new CO with this amendment?

 

My husband was talking with the lawyer yesterday and wanted the specifics on what this meant as in does this mean that stepson can never see my parents.  My lawyer sorted it out with her lawyer and came to the point where he can see my parents when we are there with him but he cannot do anything with them if we are not around.  My kids usually go over there every weekend to spend the night one night.  I always ask my SS if he wants to go or stay with us and he says he wants to go.  Now he will not be able to go and I think it's so sad that his brother will be able to go and he has no choice he has to stay behind.  I don't think he realized the consequences of lying for his Mom.  Poor kiddo!

No, he can still go.  You or your husband just need to go as well.  Is this inconvenient?  Yes.  Is it completely stupid?  Yes.  Does it suck?  Yes.  But unfortunately until this nonsense gets sorted out you and your husband will have to just spend that extra time at your parents' house so that SS still gets to bond with them.  So spend the night at your parents' house with the kids.  There's nothing in the CO saying you have to be in the same exact room as SS, right?  So use that loophole.  Let the kids have a campout in the backyard and you stay inside.  Let the kiddos do something with Grandma and Grandpa downstairs or in another room while you and your husband watch a movie elsewhere.  Make it work.  SS will be grateful and BM will see that her stupid little games are just making your family stronger.

KristenFMR

jobalchak:

KristenFMR:

Phantomgirl:

Are you saying that the court amended the CO to specifically say your SS cannot be around your parents?  And that it specifically names them?  As in SS cannot be in the company of John and Jane Smith?

I find this hard to believe. 

OR are you saying that this is what SS told the GAL and it is in the GAL report?

I cannot see how this would be worded / added to a CO as your DH has the right to parent his son on days he is with him.  I am sure that is in yoru CO.

I get ROFR in that your SS could not be left with them without first giving BM the option BUT I don't get how he cannot be around them???

Maybe I'm not understanding your post???  Do you actually have a copy of the new CO with this amendment?

 

My husband was talking with the lawyer yesterday and wanted the specifics on what this meant as in does this mean that stepson can never see my parents.  My lawyer sorted it out with her lawyer and came to the point where he can see my parents when we are there with him but he cannot do anything with them if we are not around.  My kids usually go over there every weekend to spend the night one night.  I always ask my SS if he wants to go or stay with us and he says he wants to go.  Now he will not be able to go and I think it's so sad that his brother will be able to go and he has no choice he has to stay behind.  I don't think he realized the consequences of lying for his Mom.  Poor kiddo!

No, he can still go.  You or your husband just need to go as well.  Is this inconvenient?  Yes.  Is it completely stupid?  Yes.  Does it suck?  Yes.  But unfortunately until this nonsense gets sorted out you and your husband will have to just spend that extra time at your parents' house so that SS still gets to bond with them.  So spend the night at your parents' house with the kids.  There's nothing in the CO saying you have to be in the same exact room as SS, right?  So use that loophole.  Let the kids have a campout in the backyard and you stay inside.  Let the kiddos do something with Grandma and Grandpa downstairs or in another room while you and your husband watch a movie elsewhere.  Make it work.  SS will be grateful and BM will see that her stupid little games are just making your family stronger.

I like the way you think

However there will certainly be many times where he just cannot go because when my parents take my toddler for the night it's a break that I need for mommy time