And this is why I shouldn't have told anyone about IVF

delino

9am this morning my mom calls asking if I've heard anything about the transfer day.  This is why I was hesitant to tell anyone.  Because I've been telling her the details she's going to ask questions.  I know this sounds mean, but I don't mean it that way.  When people ask me questions, it stresses me out.  And I really don't want her calling me everyday after transfer asking how I'm feeling, did I test, blah blah blah.  She is super supportive and I am grateful for her.  I'm just afraid of letting everyone down...once again.  :::sigh:::

April+

Maybe when she calls you, you could politely let her know that you will call her with any news that you receive and you could also mention that you appreciate her interest and support but calling you stresses you out because when the phone rings you think it might be the clinic giving you news or something

Aegis2005

Been there - it sucks.  For me, it felt like most people just get to have sex, and the baby making process is between them and their DH - I felt like our baby making process was such a public event and I hated it.  It's the reason we're not telling anyone this go round.

(((hugs)))

delino

Aegis2005:

I felt like our baby making process was such a public event and I hated it. 

Exactly!  And the other night my dad was talking about my husband' sperm and my eggs :::shivers:::

LuvWIfootball

We told our parents and DH told his coworkers about our cycle.  He had to tell work due to having to be out 1-2 wks for the biopsy that would be day of ER.  When we got canceled, all of those same people knew.  I didn't like that.  So I told DH that this cycle, I don't want everyone to know the specifics.  My mom totally understood my reasons for not wanting to discuss this next cycle and  I'm sure you're mom will understand too.  Just explain it to her as you've explained it to us. 

Good luck!

delino

I've had the conversation with her before.  I think she just got excited, but I will remind her.

MrsNukem

We didn't tell any of our parents about our IVF because we didn't want to disappoint them (turns out my cycle failed anyway, good thing I didn't say anything).  I told a few close girlfriends while I was cycling, and even that got a little annoying with the "any news" questions every day.  Maybe just tell your mom that if you had any news to tell, she'd be the first to know.  Good luck!

KRoseToes

I was worried that would happen and that's why I haven't told anyone except my parents and sister about the timeline for IVF this summer. But my parents are way more interested and want to be "involved" then I expected. They want me to call after every appointment it seems. Today I have my mock transfer and training on injects, and they want me to call them after. I need to figure out a way to fudge the truth a little when it gets closer to betas for sure. I like having their support when I need it, I just don't want to share until I'm ready too. You're not alone!

JBDamonM

UGH! Good luck.

Even though I haven't started my IVF I can feel for you on this one. I don't want ANYONE to know for the exact reason you state - I don't want to disapoint. I also feel that it will be hard enough for me if it fails. I don't need to then have to get the phone tree going.

ChrisH22

I know how you feel.  We've only done IUI but my first cycle I learned my lesson about giving too much information.  I had been telling my closest friends and my mom the details, so every step of the process they wanted to call and check on how it was going.  I knew they meant well and were checking on me from the sweetest possible place, but ugh it was nervewracking!!  The next cycle I didn't tell anyone we were trying again and this time I've told my mom but very casually, so she doesn't know any actual dates or my actual protocol.  When I talk to her she may ask how I'm feeling, but she's not texting me right after appts or calling for news every day.

rosemary&thyme

Ugh, I hate that. My mom always kept asking. I was like NOW YOU SEE WHY I DON'T WANT TO TELL YOU ANYTHING?? I try to remember it's because they care. 

delino

She sent me a text that she's at lunch if I want to talk.  I told her that transfer is tomorrow and we'll know in a couple of weeks if it works and I'll let her know if I know anything.  Said I didn't feel like talking and told her I love her.  I hope she's not hurt, but I can't have the constant check-in from her.

Laurakat81

I can completely understand. I want people to know what we're doing but I'm terrified of them asking me questions, unintentionally making me feel worse, and feeling like I failed in the end. I wish this could just be easy! 

 (((hugs))) 

BAKERMOMHDS

Aegis2005:

Been there - it sucks.  For me, it felt like most people just get to have sex, and the baby making process is between them and their DH - I felt like our baby making process was such a public event and I hated it.  It's the reason we're not telling anyone this go round.

(((hugs)))

This... IVF #1 felt like a circus.  IVF#2, , only my sister knows and she has been warned to Z I P it!!!! 

Tell her politely you appreciate the concern / care, but you'll let her know any updates / news.

*Hugs*...

Gregermis

ugh!  Sorry.  I told my parents during our fresh cycle too and I got a call from my dad about 4 hours after ER frantic that something had gone wrong because I hadn't called with the results.  We kept our FET to ourselves for just that reason

Whales124

We told my parents with our first cycle and exactly this happened.  This time around only my in-laws know - they don't ask questions.  I was thinking that if we did decide to tell my parents during the 2ww it would go with the disclaimer of "no questions, when we have information to share, we will".

schlud01

I feel this exact way, I didnt know how to express it, but its exactly this. I am just soo soo terrified to let anyone down. I am so sorry you feel this way, but be assured, your not alone. I wish I had advice, but I am stuck here too.. HUGS