Coming to a realization about myself.. — The Bump
Special Needs

Coming to a realization about myself..

My DH has told me before that he thinks I have AS. I laugh it him usually and say whatever.

We were having an issue with DD  earlier this week and her need to wear her hoodie still (when it's 90+ degrees out) and we were trying to discuss with her that it was a comfort item and it's time to try to put it away for the summer. All of a sudden it occurred to me that when I was in middle school I was guilty of wearing my leather jacket all school year long. In said jacket pocket, I kept a Snapple top which I would "pop" frequently. I remember my mom always nagging me to stop wearing my jacket and get frustrated with me popping the lid. I told DD that I had the same issue as a child and that I know that she feel more comfortable in the hoodie but that she needs to not wear it right now and we needed to put it away for next fall like we have had to do with her boots before.  (I felt like my mom, but I am trying to help her so I think I am doing the right thing.)

Then it suddenly occurred to me, I think DH is right. I think I might have AS. It took my DD having the same issue for all these things to come together. My mom always talked about how I started reading at 2. I was an avid reader and had read most of Stephen King's novels by the time I was 10. I was in the gifted program at school. I collected napkins....napkins!...from weddings, restaurants, baby showers, ect and hung them on my wall. I collected pens too. I hated the tags on my clothes and finally stopped cutting them out when I was in high school for the most part, although I still cut out some particularly on underclothing. Once at a marching band contest I ended up with the wrong hat and it was tight and it bothered me so bad I literally blacked out while we were standing to do our contest pictures. I hated the texture of meat, in fact, I still won't eat meat separately (not mixed in with something) unless it's chicken. My mom used to try to make me sit at the table until I ate the allotted amount of meat on my plate until my older brother would sneak and eat it for me. I can't eat brisket, ribs, steak, ect. I have no problem eating BBQ sandwiches, meatloaf, hamburgers, anything that is mixed with something else. I'm socially awkward. I'm a klutz. I think I've been in denial all along or too focused on DD once I knew about AS to realize it could be true, I could have AS.

I contemplated writing this post the other day when I came to the realization, but I backed out. It seems so strange to try to say that I might not be "normal". 

DD(14),SD(13),SS(11),SS(9),DS(3)

Re: Coming to a realization about myself..

  • You're right- you're not "normal". I think having that much self-awareness and understanding is pretty far from normal, and it's a wonderful thing, both for you and your DD.

    Signed,

    Glendi, who's slowly realizing how overrated "normal" is.

    When sisters stand shoulder to shoulder, who stands a chance against us? ~Pam Brown
    Big Girl 2.7.06 ~ Baby Girl 9.2.07
    image7_0002
  • Hi! I am a lurker but just wanted to say my DH was just diahnosed with AS and DD is just began the process of diagnosis and evals.

    For us, it was the opposite. We have known for about 2 years DH had it, took awhile for a formal diagnosis. DD just turned 3 and we have seen similar traits emerge as DH. I am happy he will have a unique perspective and be able to help her with this journey.

    DD still wants to wear her winter boots and jacket. Routine is such a big thing for her. I bought her some new spring Dora shoes, hat and light jacket. All her winter stuff was Dora so hopefully we can transition lol!

    Can I ask how old your DD is? How old was she when she was diagnosed (I am assuming AS)? Does she do any stimming? We are waiting on what actual diagnosis we get for DD (ASD/AS/etc).

    Like pp said, it is a gift to be able to know what your child is going through. DH stresses I have to realize DD will need her space and time alone as she gets older. I am such a people person, I am so glad to have his insight. Good luck to you!

    [IMG]http://i50.tinypic.com/30xit04.jpg[/IMG]
    Olivia Kate is almost 4!
    Diagnosed with autism this year and doing great!
  • I can relate. I'm definitely realizing things about myself that I just assumed were typical, or not *that* out of the norm, that verge on ASD-like. 

    I would sit in classes and pick my cuticles until they bled. It wasn't a distraction; at some point I realized that it actually helped me focus more on what the teacher was saying, even though it looked like I wasn't paying attention.

    Clothes never bothered me, but I feel like I'm actually more sensitive to sensory things now -- "bad" noises or smells (like poopy diapers) are hard to shrug off. It was worse before I started on ADs. I can't fall asleep to music because I feel like I have to follow the tune/words in my head. 

    I had a hard time controlling my emotions. I would burst out crying when things went badly -- I forgot my homework, my mom was late dropping me off somewhere, I gave a wrong answer in class. That happened all the way up until HS, although it got less and less frequent as time went on. I was terribly embarrassed by it, but had absolutely no control over it. I read an article about AS in girls that described similar issues and was like, "OMG, that's me."

    Part of me thinks I was just an overly sensitive, intelligent, nerdy and perfectionistic child with a hard time shrugging things off. I don't think I necessarily had/have ASD, because I'm very socially competent and if anything, I've always been overly sensitive to social cues. But it's like everything I struggled with is ratcheted up even higher in DD1, to where it gets to the point of pathology.  

    image

    DD1, 1/5/2008 ~~~ DD2, 3/17/2010
  • Ginlyn0Ginlyn0
    Long-Lasting Membership 250 Answers 1000 Comments 25 Love Its
    member
    image -auntie-:

    This is a pretty common realization. In some cases the parent's differences do rise to the level of being diagnostic of Aspergers or HFA, in others the parent is more of an autistic cousin who shares a lot of traits but doesn't quite meet the diagnostic criteria. One of my cousin's was dx'd in his 40's after my son got his dx. DS was almost 7 when he got his Aspergers dx and my family was pretty vocal about the similarities between the two boys.

    On the plus side, moms who share traits with their children have a unique perspective that can be useful for helping their child be successful.

    Well I have known there was a genetic link in our family because my 13 yo nephew has PDD-NOS and my youngest cousin who is also 13 has an autism dx, along w/ DD's dx of AS. All on my dad's side of the family tree. So I have always partially acknowledged that it was from "me" and of course I would see a few similarities here and there, but I guess it never really clicked before.

    DD(14),SD(13),SS(11),SS(9),DS(3)

  • Ginlyn0Ginlyn0
    Long-Lasting Membership 250 Answers 1000 Comments 25 Love Its
    member
    image pastalady:

    Hi! I am a lurker but just wanted to say my DH was just diahnosed with AS and DD is just began the process of diagnosis and evals.

    For us, it was the opposite. We have known for about 2 years DH had it, took awhile for a formal diagnosis. DD just turned 3 and we have seen similar traits emerge as DH. I am happy he will have a unique perspective and be able to help her with this journey.

    DD still wants to wear her winter boots and jacket. Routine is such a big thing for her. I bought her some new spring Dora shoes, hat and light jacket. All her winter stuff was Dora so hopefully we can transition lol!

    Can I ask how old your DD is? How old was she when she was diagnosed (I am assuming AS)? Does she do any stimming? We are waiting on what actual diagnosis we get for DD (ASD/AS/etc).

    Like pp said, it is a gift to be able to know what your child is going through. DH stresses I have to realize DD will need her space and time alone as she gets older. I am such a people person, I am so glad to have his insight. Good luck to you!

    My DD is 12 and she was 7 when she was diagnosed w/ AS. Although, I knew something was up much earlier than that and tried to have her evaluated by the school district at 3 but back then it seemed so much harder. We got no where because she refused to complete their testing. Finally shortly after she turned 7, I self-referred to the neuropsychologist that diagnosed my nephew w/ PDD-NOS after my sister told me she was certain DD was on the spectrum. She used to stim by smelling her fingers constantly when she was younger.  She was/ still is a toe-walker (I've sometimes heard that is considered a stim.)

    Clothing has always been one of her biggest issues because of sensory and transition issues.

    DD(14),SD(13),SS(11),SS(9),DS(3)

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