First visit to this board

mmdailey

Hi everybody,

I'm also a member of the August 2012 board, but have recently realized that I need some additional support from some people in my situation.  I won't make my intro too long, but it needs to be said.  My husband and I have been married since 2008.  We tried for a couple of years to get pregnant while on fertility medication to no avail.  Then, in October 2011, we finally had the blowout that broke the camel's back, so to speak and, after I asked him to spend a couple of nights with his father, he decided to move out completely.  I was crushed since we had just bought a house a couple of months before and he took my 7 year old stepson with him.  Now he lives in a different town than me and, since we found out I was pregnant last December, we have tried marriage counseling several times with no luck.  I am alone in a 4 bedroom house, paying a full mortgage and all of the medical bills, while working 2 part time jobs.  He has made it very clear that he doesn't want to get back together to "solve my financial problems" or until I make some changes.  After months of struggling to make things work and stay positive, I have resolved myself to the fact that this man is not going to be around and I am going to have to make the best of my situation alone.  Other women have raised children alone, so I won't be a first, and this child couldn't be any more loved if she tried!  I'm due in August and I have no maternity leave for either school I work for, so that is an issue, but for now, I'm just rolling with the punches.  I have been very blessed with this little one, but am very frustrated with my husband who, at this point, still says he hasn't thought about divorce, yet still plans on living a town away.  I have a lawyer friend who says since I make more than him, I should let him file first because the longer he waits, the more it will show that he can live independently of my income.  I know that when this baby comes, though, that I will have to file because I'm not going to let him get away with having babysitting be his one and only contribution.  Sorry this wasn't as short as I promised!  I am happy to make some new friends and share in your experiences.  Hello everyone!

ashlin242000

My husband of 17 years left me when I was 3 months pregnant.  My daughter is 11 weeks old tomorrow.  I just wanted you to know that it does get better and once your little one is here all you focus on is them.  I make more money than my husband, since he was the person that wanted the divorce i waited for him to file first.  He was eager for the divorce so he hired an expensive lawyer to draft the agreement.  I simply took the agreement and got a lawyer (through free legal aid) to make sure that everything looked above board.  I am not sure if it works for everyone but him filing first cost him a pretty penny, whereas I have not paid anything.

My divorce will be finalized on June 12th and while when he first left I was devastated and wanted him back now I am feel a sense of empowerment and freedom.  

Try to enjoy this time and focus on yourself and your baby.