forget-me-not earrings (PIP)

killian09 · May 2012

I bought myself these forget-me-not earrings as a symbol/remembrance of my two pregnancies. Even if their time with me was short, I know that I did my utmost to be the best mother that I could to each little one. It was my idea to get the jewelry, but my DH helped me choose them out. Just wanted to share with your ladies. I guess bc no one else IRL will know what they mean, except me and DH, and I wanted someone else to know.

Somewhat unrelated, but I came to the vague realization today that the best way to overcome these feelings of bitterness, anger, and frustration that I have been struggling with when I encounter other women's pregnancies and little ones may be to begin by being more compassionate towards myself. I don't know if that makes sense now that I've written it down. I'm still working it out. But I'm trying to approach my own emotional state with a little extra patience and understanding, in hopes of not compounding the negative emotions by layering on frustration for the way that I am feeling at any given moment. It's definitely a work in progress. But I had a positive day overall, and I'm feeling hopeful.

MeganS313 · May 2012

These are beautiful! Great choice. I totally get what you're saying about being more kind to yourself. I totally beat myself up over feeling this or not feeling that, etc.

I really appreicate you sharing this...I can say I definitely got something out of it..Thank you!

HopingforChange · May 2012

Those are gorgeous. Also, yes, be kind to yourself and feel what you feel without guilt.; you deserve that.

bananers · May 2012

Love the earrings. I totally get what you mean about being more compassionate to yourself. I'm doing a series of TTC meditation podcasts right now (Circle+Bloom), and one of the sessions had that same message -- to acknowledge any feelings of jealousy or bitterness, and instead of berating yourself for them, try to explore the feelings and why you feel that way.

Actingdiva09 · May 2012

Sweetie they're beautiful!!!! I'm so glad you're starting to have a new, better, perspective! Smile

DaisyZH · May 2012

The earrings are beautiful and such a wonderful remembrance. I agree that being gentle with yourself is important, I think it's all a process that I too am still trying to figure out. I'm glad you had a good day, I hope it's the first in a long line of them.

tdmd09 · May 2012

Those are lovely. I got myself a forget-me-not necklace after my last loss as a memorial and I absolutely love it and that no one knows what it means.

And good for you for being kind to yourself. It's a horrible thing we've all gone through and a lot of those bitter feelings are part of grieving, and beating yourself up over feeling that way isn't going to make them disappear.

killian09 · May 2012

Thanks so much to all of you for these sweet replies. You ladies are such a great support.

Rosie--I will check out that website, thanks!

I know we talk a lot on this board about being kind to oneself, but I guess it wasn't until yesterday that I made the mental link between the emotions I am directing inwards towards myself and those I am directing outwards towards other people. Maybe I'm just slow. But it has given me a new perspective--something to work on. You are right, it is a type of mindfulness--to be able to observe and acknowledge my own feelings without judgment.