Adjusting CS

HisChamaoleGirl

I hope I dont get flamed for this so I am going to try and explain as best I can.

DH and I just moved across the country and our pay has dropped significantly. No we didnt have a choice in this move (military) and I only point that out to show that DH didnt take a lower paying job at his own will. The CS amount was determined by his pay in Hawaii. When determining the amount he would have to pay with our move, the amount he would be required to pay is significantly lower. We would like to take the steps to adjust CS and we are sure BM wont be happy about it. She already brags about how her lifestyle is funded by the CS. With this move we will have higher plane flight fees to pay for visitation and I just dont see that happening if DH continues to pay the amount he is ordered to based on his old income.

I can see the responses going badly in this but I want to make it clear that SS will be taken care of regardless as to if the amount ordered to pay is lower. I just think that SS will "suffer" more if we dont have the funds to cover visitation and cant see his father.

How would you go about bringing up the changes to BM? DH and her have an agreement that was determined outside of court between them but signed off on by a judge so its "legal." Would you pursue these changes?

CurlyQ284

Have you guys moved out here to DC yet? I cant believe your pay went down! I would pursue the changes. It doesnt sound like BM.is stretched by any means and you would be paying whats fair according to the formula with your DHs new salary...out of curiosity, what jurisdiction is your CS and CO out of since you are in the military? Does it move with you or is it based where BM is?

CFjo2010

It's both parents' responsibility to provide for their child. If circumstances have changed and your husband is entitled to a lower CS payment, then BM needs to deal with it. If she claims she needs more money, she can work more. There are plenty of CPs who never receive a dime of the CS they are ordered to receive and manage to make it work. 

As for the visitation costs, it's been my experience that Judges tend to order the parent who moved to cover the costs. My XH moved across the country and wanted me to pay 1/2 the airfare. The Judge laughed at him and said since he's the one who moved away he would be responsible for airfare. If the CS amount is going to be lowered, I doubt BM will be agreeable to paying some of the costs.  

fellesferie

Circumstances outside your control have changed. I think it would be fair to pursue having your support obligation reduced. 

I don't know if there's any easy or good way to let her know about the changes, so I would opt for short and straightforward. It would be my personal preference to get an email from my ex rather than a letter from an attorney, but your situation is more contentious than mine.

As a custodial parent, if my XH needed to reduce his support payment, I would ask for the following:

- As much notice as possible so that I can adjust my plans and budget. I think 60 days is reasonable, but 90 days preferable. 

-Pay stubs or some sort of proof of reduced income. 

-Willingness to work with me on any financial commitments already in place for the child (ie, summer camps, extracurriculars, etc). 

Some of those things might not be possible, but I would still ask.

blush64

wendilea:

Circumstances have changed, and you are within your rights to ask for an adjustment.  I don't know how you can bring it up to your BM without her going BSC.  Have you looked into a new attorney, not the friend of the family DH was using?  There are a couple of other issues I would change in your CO as well - including transportation (who can accompany SS, splitting costs, visitation, etc)

And a question - did he pay more than the CO when he was deployed?  His combat pay was more than what he was making stationed in Hawaii, right?  

If the answer to that question is no then I would say don't try to pay less now. If he paid more when he made more it would make sense to pay less when he makes less (Thorugh no fault of his own.)

HisChamaoleGirl

wendilea:

Circumstances have changed, and you are within your rights to ask for an adjustment.  I don't know how you can bring it up to your BM without her going BSC.  Have you looked into a new attorney, not the friend of the family DH was using?  We have decided not to use this attorney anymore seeing as there were more complications than anything else. We haven't hired anyone else though (silly me for thinking our problems would be solved for awhile).There are a couple of other issues I would change in your CO as well - including transportation (who can accompany SS, splitting costs, visitation, etc)
I too would like to add a stipulation to the CO since it has only DH and MIL as escorts for SS for visitation. However, she has "allowed" my mother and DHs cousin (both of which SS knows) to escort him in the past without it being in writing. As for splitting costs when it comes to visitation the courts have already made it clear that will fall under DH bc its his visitation. If he cant fund it, he cant have it.

And a question - did he pay more than the CO when he was deployed?  His combat pay was more than what he was making stationed in Hawaii, right?   Our (I say that bc we both were there) second and third deployments were during our time in Hawaii so yes CS was based on Hawaii and deployment pay. Moving here has eliminated deployment and Hawaii allowances.

HisChamaoleGirl

CurlyQ284:

Have you guys moved out here to DC yet? I cant believe your pay went down! I would pursue the changes. It doesnt sound like BM.is stretched by any means and you would be paying whats fair according to the formula with your DHs new salary...out of curiosity, what jurisdiction is your CS and CO out of since you are in the military? Does it move with you or is it based where BM is?

Yes, we arrived on Friday and have since been battling with jet lag. Whew, that was a long flight!

BM isn't hurting by any means since she lives with her mother and brags about her only bills being a car payment and cell phone. I know an adjustment, and possible reduction, in CS wouldnt effect SS lifestyle.

 DHs CO as based on where his divorce took place. Guam is where he and BM are from and where BM and SS currently reside. I have no idea if we have the option of filing for adjustments based on our location.

HisChamaoleGirl

jobalchak:

It's both parents' responsibility to provide for their child. If circumstances have changed and your husband is entitled to a lower CS payment, then BM needs to deal with it. If she claims she needs more money, she can work more. There are plenty of CPs who never receive a dime of the CS they are ordered to receive and manage to make it work. 

As for the visitation costs, it's been my experience that Judges tend to order the parent who moved to cover the costs. My XH moved across the country and wanted me to pay 1/2 the airfare. The Judge laughed at him and said since he's the one who moved away he would be responsible for airfare. If the CS amount is going to be lowered, I doubt BM will be agreeable to paying some of the costs.  

DH hadnt asked BM to cover any of the visitation costs, afterall she hadnt been working for years at the time of their divorce, and even now I know a judge wouldnt consider ordering her to do so since DH is the one that moves. Technicaly they were both living in NY and she decided to move to Guam where the divorce was finalized. But that was years ago and there have been many moves on DHs part so I dont think a judge would consider that she is the one that moved first.

Instead, DH would like a judge to consider the amount he has to pay in airline tickets when detemining child support but that isnt something that has worked for him either. The base amount he is to pay based on his income is reasonable but BM has "add ons" she wants DH to be soley responsible for.

HisChamaoleGirl

fellesferie:

Circumstances outside your control have changed. I think it would be fair to pursue having your support obligation reduced. 

I don't know if there's any easy or good way to let her know about the changes, so I would opt for short and straightforward. It would be my personal preference to get an email from my ex rather than a letter from an attorney, but your situation is more contentious than mine.

As a custodial parent, if my XH needed to reduce his support payment, I would ask for the following:

- As much notice as possible so that I can adjust my plans and budget. I think 60 days is reasonable, but 90 days preferable. 

-Pay stubs or some sort of proof of reduced income. 

-Willingness to work with me on any financial commitments already in place for the child (ie, summer camps, extracurriculars, etc). 

Some of those things might not be possible, but I would still ask.

Thank you for your suggestions. Because of the way Guam determines their CS amount I would also need BMs paystubs to do the calculations on what the new CS amount would be.I can see obtaining those from her being a problem so we may have to go the attorney route. As for making sure SS can participate in extracurricular activities DH, BM, and even I believe those are in his best interest and would make it possible for no changes to be made there.

Samiantha101

Is the child support based off your husband's base pay? I imagine that hasn't changed, just the bah/cola. If so, I don't see how your husband could ask for an adjustment.

HisChamaoleGirl

Samiantha101:

Is the child support based off your husband's base pay? I imagine that hasn't changed, just the bah/cola. If so, I don't see how your husband could ask for an adjustment.

CS is based on all of DH pay including allowances.