Community› The Bump Message Boards› Blended Families
Blended Families
New Discussion

What is going on here?

FutureMrsWittigFutureMrsWittig member
in Blended Families

SDs BM brought her kids to our house yesterday to play for awhile before SDs softball game.  While they were playing she tells me that SD and her younger sister intentionally peed in younger sister's bed Monday night and then stripped it and hid all the bedding and their wet clothes.  BM found the sheets and clothes Wednesday when she was cleaning their room.  Younger sister says it was SDs idea and that it was "a peeing game".  SD admits doing it, but says it wasn't her idea.  SD is 9.

WHAT is going on here?  Furthermore, how do we punish her for this?  We have a call in to her counselor, but no one will be in the office until Monday...

Mama of 2: one who grew in my womb, both who grow in my heart.
Report Reply to Post

Re: What is going on here?

  • Holly_1007Holly_1007 member
    it happened at BM's house, and actually had no affect on you at all.  you can bring it up in a conversation and tell her how it was innapropriate/ ask why she did it etc. but you should not punish her for it. 
                           
                         View Full Size Image  View Full Size Image
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • IlumineIlumine member

    Actually Holly is onY partially correct.  YOU cannot initiate the punishment, that has to come from BM, but you SHOULD Follow through with any punishments BM has that may run into your time.

    at 9, urinating anywhere but a bathroom is a known tAboo. Potty training is pretty clear on that.  The fact that she/they hid the bedding and clothes is evidence enough. 

    punishments for something like this, both the taboo action and the lying by omission, should be long enough that they may overlap custodial time.  So bth parents should discuss and agree o.  the consequences/punishments to e effective.

    file:///Users/Ilumine/Desktop/Family%20Portrait%20for%20gift.jpg
    Report Reply
  • IlumineIlumine member
    And let me tell you, when there is visible co-parenting...it makes that much more difference with the child(ren).
    file:///Users/Ilumine/Desktop/Family%20Portrait%20for%20gift.jpg
    Report Reply
  • Holly_1007Holly_1007 member

    I stand corrected.  I agree Illumine.  The co-parenting in our house is a disaster and that is what I always revert to.  in our situation if something happened at BM's and SD was punished we probably wouldn't even know about it, unless SD told us.  which isn't very likely.

    but yes, the punishment should come from BM, and if necessary be applied at your house as well, but you should not initate a punishment or add to the punishment that BM has set. 

    although I would still encourage a discussion with SD about the behavior. 

                           
                         View Full Size Image  View Full Size Image
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • FutureMrsWittigFutureMrsWittig member

    DH told BM we would uphold whatever consequences she decided to impose.  But she's "still trying to decide what to do".  It's been a week today since this happened. 

    I don't see this being an effective life lesson.  Sigh.

    Mama of 2: one who grew in my womb, both who grow in my heart.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"