March for Babies is tomorrow

weddedwife

Our walk is tomorrow morning and I am both excited and sad. I'm sure tomorrow will be a bittersweet but hopefully positive experience. I'm really, really proud of the money we have raised for the March of Dimes and I hope that it prevents another family from having to go through this.

I have so many mixed emotions about this walk. I'm proud of what we're doing in our son's memory, but I'd so much rather we were doing something else- holding him, loving him, raising him. I put the flier up on our fridge last week and all of a sudden broke down thinking I should be putting baby pictures up on my fridge, not a flier for the March of Dimes. Last night I finished making our team shirts for the walk, thinking how great they looked, then all of a sudden felt this wave of sadness come over me. It's like another step in our process of honoring Nathaniel is over. This has been a big way for us to remember him and honor his life, and I feel like, "what now?" I don't know if I'm explaining this well...

Please wish us luck tomorrow, and strength to get through the walk. My son will not have a long life, but he will have a legacy. I'm trying to focus on that but right now I'm just so sad.

johnnys june

*hugs*. I felt the same way our first year. Later that year I decided to do another fundraiser/drive -- Logan's Hope Build-A-Boxes (memory boxes for the NICU). I jist needed to feel like I was always doing something great for him. Then I got burnt out. I realized that every day that I'm alive, healing, and trying to find new joy that I was leaving a legacy for Logan. We participated again this year in March od Dimes and wl continue for years to come. Good luck, lovey! Your baby may not be in your arms but I bet he's flying along side you every step of that walk!!! *hugs*