WWYD? Re: Wedding

HALFM00N

My friend invited us to his wedding. On the Western reception RSVP, it has DH and my name and has 2 persons in parenthesis. Does this mean DD is not invited? On the religious/ Indian part, it just has a regular RSVP, and number of people is left blank. So this seems ambiguous, because it could mean DD is not invited to their reception bc they don't want any kids there, or it could mean kids are free and they are just taking RSVPs for paid people. I have no idea but I am a little annoyed if it's no kids. I invited EVERYONE to our wedding. I feel weird asking, and my sister said maybe they don't know they have to include the child's name on the invitation, but in our culture, we at least put "and family" on our invitations. I'd like to take DD if she is invited, we'd leave early if necessary.

debperdoo

I would take it as she was not invited.  We are going through the same thing for a wedding and I asked the groom's brother about it and DS is not invited, but it is 17 hours from my house, who am I supposed to leave him with?

HALFM00N

I rejected 5 wedding invitations last year because they involved flying and I was not going to leave DD or take her to a wedding. However, I feel obligated to going to in town weddings, and find it rude that they wouldn't want DD to go, especially when kids are free.

freeatlast2014

Ok, this may be an UO but I really don't think kids should be invited to weddings. I could see immediate close family or very close friend, but other than that most weddings I've been to are just a bunch of people dancing and getting drunk. Now, I just went to a wedding and everyone's kids were invited and it was great and all...I was just glad to leave JT home with my in-laws cause then I got to enjoy MY night!!

Are you close enough to them to just ask? I, too, would assume if your LO is not listed on the invitation or it doesn't say "and family" then LO isn't invited but if you would like to bring LO with you I'd inquire - maybe say "Are you having children at the wedding? We aren't sure if we should bring LO or use a babysitter" 

SweetHurricane

The fact that they actually wrote "2" in makes me think that DD is not invited. Proper etiquette says to not ask, but it's ultimately up to you. Are you close enough that you could ask one of their parents or immediate family members for clarification?

Kids are not always free. We had one at our wedding and paid for him. They also take up a chair. If their venue has limited space they probably have to be careful about who they invite.

RedZee

Like SweetH said, if they made sure to write "2" and did not include her name or 'and family' on the invite, it means she's not invited. I don't think it's rude to exclude kids from a wedding. They aren't always free, it creates a different kind of vibe, and it starts to get tricky in terms of who gets to bring kids and who doesn't. Brides and grooms get really worked up about these things. Check some of the Knot boards to get a sense of this.

We take DD with us most places, but there are certainly venues where it's not appropriate to just bring your kids along.

ffejsGirl

SweetHurricane:

The fact that they actually wrote "2" in makes me think that DD is not invited. Proper etiquette says to not ask, but it's ultimately up to you. Are you close enough that you could ask one of their parents or immediate family members for clarification?

Kids are not always free. We had one at our wedding and paid for him. They also take up a chair. If their venue has limited space they probably have to be careful about who they invite.

I agree with this. I would assume it means she's not invited.

I wouldn't be offended. Some people just want a nice adult function without worrying about hosting children. I invited all kids to my wedding. However, when we were invited to a friend's wedding last summer that was a no kids event we had a blast. 

I'd take it as a chance to leave LO with grandpa and grandma for some spoiling, while you and your H enjoy a night out with friends.  

skibi83

I would also take it that your LO is not invited. Some people do not see weddings as events for kids. I also found that to be strange, but I come from a family background where the more kids the better. Good luck. I hope you have a great time either way.

HALFM00N

SweetHurricane:

The fact that they actually wrote "2" in makes me think that DD is not invited. Proper etiquette says to not ask, but it's ultimately up to you. Are you close enough that you could ask one of their parents or immediate family members for clarification?

Kids are not always free. We had one at our wedding and paid for him. They also take up a chair. If their venue has limited space they probably have to be careful about who they invite.

They are free at this place. We were going to our wedding here and decided not because of date issues, and they got the recommendation from us. We are not super close, but we are pretty open about stuff. I could ask but I feel sort of annoyed I guess. Both my sister and parents volunteered to take care of her but I guess I'd prefer to have her with us?? I don't really care to go to the Western reception but I feel obligated to I guess 

Thanks for the advice!

CaniacMom

In cases like this I always figure it is the hosts perogative to not invite kids but it is up to me to decide whether I want to accept the invitation.  If I can't live without my kid being invited I just decline & do not make an issue of it.

HALFM00N

CaniacMom:

In cases like this I always figure it is the hosts perogative to not invite kids but it is up to me to decide whether I want to accept the invitation.  If I can't live without my kid being invited I just decline & do not make an issue of it.

Haha I think I overbooked myself for that weekend anyway. We are going to probably go to the Indian part and then I *think* we're leaving for England the next day, which is the day of the Western reception