Intro...Hullo! (Slightly long)

rachelizzie

My s/o and I lost our first baby March 26th. People said it would get better but to me, I was fairly fine at first and it's just gotten worse and I'm a whole new batch of nutso now. There are a few pregnant girls at school that I have to see all the time, people who got pregnant around when I did, and I have all this built up anguish that I can't really show because I have to put my customer service face on all the time. And every time I see a child or a baby, I want to laugh and cry at the same time.

We're trying again starting this cycle, and I'm excited about getting going again, but also scared and apprehensive and crazy feeling. I know that being pregnant again and having my baby will be the only thing that will make me feel better. Until then...Here I am.

Gregermis

  I am so sorry you are here.  I have had losses that got worse over time as well.  I hope you get your take home baby soon.  Welcome and good luck

Luey22

I'm sorry for your loss, I remember seeing you on the OCT 2012 board. Good luck with TTC!

GatorBaby2012

Welcome.

sammer818

I'm sorry for your loss. I hope your stay here is short and sweet.

Rachaeleigh

welcome. My feelings have also gotten "worse" this time. I try my best to take it minute by minute. Sorry for your loss.

Mmm79

I am so sorry for your loss.  Being nervous and having the roller coaster of emotions (sadness, anger, bitterness, jealousy, wistfulness) are all normal, as if that scared but excited feeling that accompanies TTC after a loss.  Welcome to the board.

MeganS313

welcome to the board, but I'm sorry you have found yourself here.  I like you have gone through peaks and valleys emotionally.  I hope you find support here and know it's totally necessary to continue to grive.  Hope your stay here is short!

DaisyZH

I am so sorry for your loss, I hate that anyone has to go through this, it's so hard.  Welcome to the board, I hope your stay is short and sweet.

LSzwaya

I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you find this board to be a comfort! 

Atleighdan

I am so sorry for your loss. I felt similar to what you are describing after my first loss. I didn't feel too bad initially, but as time went on, it got a bit worse, especailly around AF every month. The whole TTCAL journey is such an emotional rollercoster. It is great being here, though, because I have come to realize that it is all normal. Good luck TTC and I hope your stay here is short!

ella.mabel

Welcome to the board. I'm so sorry for your loss.  It got harder for me a couple of months after the loss as well.  My OB explained to me that when a m/c is happening and right afterwards, your body kicks in extra adreneline to get you through it which is why people sometimes say they feel ok.  It's the weeks and months afterwards where reality sets in, almost like a kind of post traumatic stress disorder.  That really made sense to me.  Good luck with your ttcal journey.  ((hugs))

rachelizzie

Thank you everyone. I'm glad to have support from people who actually know how I feel.

pb127

I'm so sorry for your loss. Welcome to the board~

panacea05

I'm so sorry you find yourself here. My second loss was two months ago, and I'm more devastated now than when it happened. Grief is a process comprised of a wide range of emotions that can pop up at any ol' time. It sucks.

I hope your stay here is very short. ((hugs))