Trapped in the house...

celiabwatson

So I know this has been asked because I've answered it before, but now I'm kinda stuck and could use some advice.

For the first several months of the little one's life her naps were unpredictable and she could easily sleep on me in a carrier. So we planned our day around the older one and she napped when she felt like it. Recently two things have happened. First, she has become more aware of the world and less apt to fall asleep when we're out and about. She can sleep but it takes longer to fall asleep and she doesn't sleep for as long. She's also a lot heavier and it's getting hot out so I don't really want to wear her for an hour or more out at the park.

Second, she's falling into a pretty specific napping schedule. I've never been one to put my children on a schedule. I just follow their cues and let them eat when hungry and sleep when tired. Anyway, she's old enough that she's getting into a predictable routine. Unfortunately the routine means I'm stuck in the house all day with one child napping. 

Here's our current schedule:

7ish - wake up

9:30-11:30 baby naps

12-3 toddler naps

3:30-5:30 baby naps

8pm - start bedtime

So if I want to let them both nap at home I really can't go out at all. Another factor is that the baby is teething so I want to give her every advantage when it comes to getting good and consistent sleep. Maybe when she's done with this round of teething I can change it up a bit.

Any ideas or suggestions or should I just suck it up and enjoy my house for a while? 

CaitlinJ22

Its a short period of time, but it sucks. 

I do agree that you could push the older ones nap later and at least get an hour of overlap to rest. You could also just try and get out early. We used to get up and go out for an hour, even to the park and then come home and baby would nap.

It gets better. DD started doing one nap at 9 months and it was awesome since they both napped 2-3 hours together.

hang in there 

Daisy22

I started at 5-6 months not letting ds2 nap past 1030am so that he would go down with ds2 at 1230-1pm. There is no way I could do non overlapping naps at some point during the day. And there were a lot of days ds1 had a morning nap in the car or in the stroller. He also dropped his morning nap by 12 months which was fine. 3 hours on quiet is better then always have one of them up.

MammaBear81

hocus:

You need to get the afternoon naps to happen together. Start inching up the AM nap (9:15, 9:00, 8:45) and wake at 10:00 or 10:30. Then put both kids down at 1:00. You'll need a 5:00 pm cat nap for a while (which is fine because you can make dinner). You'll have 2 windows when both kids are up (10:30-1:00) and 3:00-5:00.

I agree with this

SirSleepsALot

Honestly, I forced the baby to one nap and forced him into his older brother's schedule.  Usually baby sleeps in later than the rest of us, though.  Me and big bro get up around 7:30, baby gets up around 8-8:30 and then around 12:30 takes his nap.  Big brother eats lunch and goes down around 1pm.  Big bro sleeps till 3:30-4:30 depending on his mood and baby sleeps for about 1-2 hours depending.  SOmetimes baby falls asleep in the car seat on the way home from our mornjing activity.  Poor kid.  But I didn't want to just sit at home running naps all day!  It's better for everyone this way (he's 11 months, btw). 

celiabwatson

What if I can't get the baby to fall asleep earlier? Just give her a short nap (get her up at 10:30 regardless)? and hope that over time she adjusts? 

I absolutely agree though. Achieving overlapping naps is my ultimate goal in life. But I also feel bad forcing my baby into a schedule of my choosing instead of her own. The older one was allowed to select his own nap times, why shouldn't she?

I realize that the answer to that question is largely that I need my sanity to parent well and it's just part of the deal with being the 2nd child, but I still feel vaguely guilty manipulating her naps. 

CaitlinJ22

For me trying to get the little one to nap earlier wasnt always easy, so I just woke her up a little earlier at atimes. 

But if you wait a few months they would probably overlap some and then you get out of the house.

I was never one to manipulate sleeping, until I had 2 under 18 months. It was necessary at times. If your baby sleeps til 6 pm will you let her? for me I prefer them to go to bed at 730 or 8 and there is no way the baby woulld sleep again if she napped til 6. Even now my DD sleeps from 2-4 and if she sleeps later than that she wont fall asleep before 9...she needs her sleep and so I wake her at 4 and would prefer that she sleep 10-12 hrs at night.

go with your gut.  

laura1

hocus:

celiabwatson:

What if I can't get the baby to fall asleep earlier? Just give her a short nap (get her up at 10:30 regardless)? and hope that over time she adjusts? 

I absolutely agree though. Achieving overlapping naps is my ultimate goal in life. But I also feel bad forcing my baby into a schedule of my choosing instead of her own. The older one was allowed to select his own nap times, why shouldn't she?

I realize that the answer to that question is largely that I need my sanity to parent well and it's just part of the deal with being the 2nd child, but I still feel vaguely guilty manipulating her naps. 

Yep -- just do short naps for a bit.

Life sucks! Second kids to get a less customized schedules. It is OK. You have to make peace with this or you'll never get anything done. This won't be the first time when you have to find a "family" option that works overall but isn't optimal for each kid. My nanny did all the hard work on tweaking the naps and and I very grateful for it.

I agree with this!  My DD actually used to cut short her own am nap for the most part (she would nap from 8:30/45-9:30 at the latest), but on days that she did sleep longer, I would wake her up.  For all of our sanity, we needed to leave the house.  And we had activities that I usually tried to schedule for 10-10:30ish - DS's Little Gym class, Music for both of them, etc.  Some days, DD wouldn't get her am nap or she would fall asleep in the car.  

FWIW, I really tried to work with DS's schedule and sleeping preferences, while I forced DD into her schedule - and DD is a FAR better sleeper than DS.  This is probably just who she is, but it didn't hurt her! 

Daisy22

hocus:

celiabwatson:

What if I can't get the baby to fall asleep earlier? Just give her a short nap (get her up at 10:30 regardless)? and hope that over time she adjusts? 

I absolutely agree though. Achieving overlapping naps is my ultimate goal in life. But I also feel bad forcing my baby into a schedule of my choosing instead of her own. The older one was allowed to select his own nap times, why shouldn't she?

I realize that the answer to that question is largely that I need my sanity to parent well and it's just part of the deal with being the 2nd child, but I still feel vaguely guilty manipulating her naps. 

Yep -- just do short naps for a bit.

Life sucks! Second kids to get a less customized schedules. It is OK. You have to make peace with this or you'll never get anything done. This won't be the first time when you have to find a "family" option that works overall but isn't optimal for each kid. My nanny did all the hard work on tweaking the naps and and I very grateful for it.

Agree about sometimes you have to find a family option in things. Plus in my opinion it's not fair to first child to always have to be stuck at home b/c 2nd child is napping at a different time. But we are also a schedule family from the beginning my boys have been on a schedule.

bellelamb

I guess I'm the odd one out, I'm big on kids being able to nap any where! Ds #2 who is 18 months can nap while I'm shopping he always has had to. I just put him in the stroller and we go on with life. I am hoping to be able to wear my newborn so everyone can sleep when or where ever.

mamabirdof4

I am totally the odd one out...we are a non-scheduled household....we are 100% child led....all of my kids can sleep anywhere,anytime!

No way would I be stuck in the house...it is not good for anyone...teaching your kids to be flexible makes life do much easier on everyone....we think nothing of spending all day at the zoo or anywhere! 

celiabwatson

bellelamb:

I guess I'm the odd one out, I'm big on kids being able to nap any where! Ds #2 who is 18 months can nap while I'm shopping he always has had to. I just put him in the stroller and we go on with life. I am hoping to be able to wear my newborn so everyone can sleep when or where ever.

And I would have completely agreed with you with my first child. Unfortunately this one is an avid tummy sleeper. She doesn't sleep in car seats, strollers etc. She'll sleep in a carrier but as I said earlier, she's getting heavier and it's getting hotter so I don't really want to have her nap on me 4 hours/day. If we have something we really have to do I'm open to it, but I'd rather have them both nap at home at the same time , or at least let her nap at home for one of her naps. 

celiabwatson

Daisy22:

hocus:

celiabwatson:

What if I can't get the baby to fall asleep earlier? Just give her a short nap (get her up at 10:30 regardless)? and hope that over time she adjusts? 

I absolutely agree though. Achieving overlapping naps is my ultimate goal in life. But I also feel bad forcing my baby into a schedule of my choosing instead of her own. The older one was allowed to select his own nap times, why shouldn't she?

I realize that the answer to that question is largely that I need my sanity to parent well and it's just part of the deal with being the 2nd child, but I still feel vaguely guilty manipulating her naps. 

Yep -- just do short naps for a bit.

Life sucks! Second kids to get a less customized schedules. It is OK. You have to make peace with this or you'll never get anything done. This won't be the first time when you have to find a "family" option that works overall but isn't optimal for each kid. My nanny did all the hard work on tweaking the naps and and I very grateful for it.

Agree about sometimes you have to find a family option in things. Plus in my opinion it's not fair to first child to always have to be stuck at home b/c 2nd child is napping at a different time. But we are also a schedule family from the beginning my boys have been on a schedule.

Actually it works out ok for him. My husband doesn't go in to work until 1 so they can get an outing in in the morning (or I can) and then we play in the backyard a lot in the afternoon. It's not ideal but he's not completely trapped in the house (thank goodness). And I do take them out if there's a meetup he'd enjoy. I'm more concerned for the baby at this point, because she's not getting optimal sleep. 

++southerngirl++

My kids are 14 months apart. My dd is 1 and ds is 2. Dd still naps twice. I forced her into sleeping at the same time as ds in the afternoon. It didn't take long for her to get used to it. I feel as long as she is getting adequate sleep then she's ok. But I would do any errands or outings in the morning and be home by 12:30 - I still do this. It just makes life so much easier for us. On those days she will fall asleep in the car or stroller - she makes up for any lost sleep in her afternoon nap. And a side note - both of my kids have been in their own cribs since 6 weeks old and sleep thru the night since 10/11 weeks. I am a FIRM believer in schedules which is why I am always home by 12:30 but I also think its good for them to have a little spontaneity in life too - that just only happens between 8-12 lol!