Time off from work

J&M0610

How long did you take off of work?  My husband and my dad think I should go back on Monday but I really don't want to.  I pretty much can't stand anyone I work with and don't want to answer any questions they may have.  I know the questions will be there whenever I decide to go back but I just don't want to deal with it now.  Plus my job is stressful (what i do is jot stressful its the office and employees that are) and I constantly have to get up and sit down and walk my patients up to the front of the office.  So from the bleeding standpoint I should wait until it slows down.

I want to take another week off just for myself.  I don't want or need the added stress that my job gives me.  I will put DD back in daycare on Monday and just take the week to clean my house and return some baby/pregnancy things that I bought.   I think my husband just doesn't want me to stay home by myself and "think", and he wants me to stay busy.

tuscanbride2007

When my DH went back to work (after about 3 weeks) he was worried about leaving me alone. I found that I needed that time without him, without DD, to just grieve on my own terms. I stayed home for at total of 6 weeks (just returned back full time last week).

A suggestion that our OB made was to have someone at work tell people when you are returning so that they 1. wouldn't be surprised to see you 2. keep the questions to a minimum. Also, a suggestion that I got from a friend (if possible) was to not go back on Monday and work half days. I started on a Tuesday, but found working full days were fine with me. I have a very understanding boss that lost his son in a car accident, so he knows if I need to leave, I need to leave. Of course, I can also hide out in my office, which is what I have been doing most of the time.

foxxy1

Honestly, take as much time as you need. I went back to work after two weeks because I couldn't stand being at home much longer and I needed the distraction. In hindsight, I wished I took the full six weeks off to get my bearings together.

Do whatever makes you....YOU...feel comfortable. *hugs*

J&M0610

My office does not have a set maternity leave so I had already told my boss I was taking 10 weeks off from the beginning when I found out I was pregnant.  I only had 4 days sick and 4 days vacation and I already used both of them last week and this week so next week will be without pay.   I have talked to one of my coworkers, actually she is the ONLY person I like at my job, and everyone knows at work and I'm sure if they ask her if she has heard from me she will say yes.  I saw her yesterday because she picked my check up for me and I did talk to her for awhile and told her what happened.  I was doing ok yesterday and didn't cry until I was telling her the story.

 

I can't believe they couldn't give you some time off nola78!  They should have given you some time to recover!

cojourney24

First of all, I am so sorry for your loss. I read your intro but did not have a chance to respond.

I took a total of 5 weeks. One week was the Dx to Tx. I found the days were really helpful in my healing process. Especially days when my DD was at day care. I really had an opportunity to focus on myself and my needs.

  

BootsOrHearts

I took a full week (not counting days actually the hospital). I feel like I need another week, my job is stressful and I was in a bad place with it when I went out, I don't want to pick it up and have to deal with all the sh!t. My husband thinks I should go back next week and just slack some, he thinks it will help to be busy. So I dunno, there's a plus to taking more time off to heal and relax, but then will you start to get bored and dwell too much? I guess it's different for everyone. 

tubbsy32

i still haven't gone back. i am going to try to start part-time at the beginning of july. i have been struggling w anxiety since we lost jacob, so my dr thought it would be best to just take care of myself and heal. so...take as much time as you can; especially if you can't stand who you work with. my tolerance level for people has dramatically decreased so i would hate for you to be stressed and aggrivated on top of grieving. good luck w your decision. ((hugs))

BronwynJaede

I took a week off, and then worked half-days Mon-Weds my first week and took the Thurs/Fri off.  I've been back full-time since then, but only because we are so desperately short-staffed.

Please be gentle with yourself and take things slowly.  

Heatherhah

I took 8 weeks off I had a c section, so I was in no way going back until I had too.

MsPeay

When I had my 2nd tri loss, I was granted my full maternity benefits, and took the full time off which was three months, mentally it was a good choice for me. I was in no way prepared or willing to go back. My Husband worked at home, so I played housewife for him. I got back into exercising, and was able to build myself back up before entering my "real world"

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xxswebbxx

tubbsy32:

i still haven't gone back. i am going to try to start part-time at the beginning of july. i have been struggling w anxiety since we lost jacob, so my dr thought it would be best to just take care of myself and heal. so...take as much time as you can; especially if you can't stand who you work with. my tolerance level for people has dramatically decreased so i would hate for you to be stressed and aggrivated on top of grieving. good luck w your decision. ((hugs))

This. & I had a c-section so I'm out for at least 8 weeks....maybe longer since I'm not healing. Plus our plan was for me to be a stay at home mom, starting online classes in the fall...new baby plus I would have DD in the summer so we wouldn't have to pay for a sitter for the girls. I got my roster for the fall yesterday so we are sticking with the "plan" still. Depening on how "hard" classes were I'm already thinking of going back to work part time in the fall.

Cygal

I took 12 weeks off....

My son died of SIDS when he was 4 months old. I'm a teacher and it was just too much and the way his death fell it just worked best to come back after winter break. It is still hard and I can see why some people quit their jobs totally....it rocks you to your core. My boss was very gracious and said I could do what I want and I'm really happy I took advantage of the healing time.  

J&M0610

Thank you all for your responses.  I decided to take another week off just for myself.  DD will go back to daycare on Monday so I will be able to clean and return some things slowly throughout the week.  Plus I will take the extra time to resume my job search since I can't stand the office I work in and I had to put the search on hold when I found out I was pregnant. 

Cygal, I'm so sorry for the loss of you DS.  I still check on my DD every night and morning because of that fear. 

pb127

J&M0610:

Thank you all for your responses.  I decided to take another week off just for myself.  DD will go back to daycare on Monday so I will be able to clean and return some things slowly throughout the week.  Plus I will take the extra time to resume my job search since I can't stand the office I work in and I had to put the search on hold when I found out I was pregnant. 

Cygal, I'm so sorry for the loss of you DS.  I still check on my DD every night and morning because of that fear. 

 (((hugs))) I'm glad you're taking some extra time off.  I took several weeks off and it was so helpful just to be at home.  I started back into work very slowly and didn't get much done for a long time. Be gentle with yourself, take good care of yourself. ((hugs))

weddedwife

I took 6 weeks off. There was no way I was ready to go back earlier. It was hard even then. It was much needed to have some extra time w/ DH & DD and for healing physically and mentally (as much as is possible).

Forget what anyone else says, do what you need to do.

astraight15

I took 4 1/2 weeks off.  I think that you need to do whatever feels right for you.  I am a teacher so it was really difficult for me to go back sooner.  I lost my daughter at 38 weeks and all of my students were really excited for her arrival.  The first few days back to work were difficult but I am getting back into a routine and it is nice to have some distraction.  A friend at work let everyone know that it would be best to not ask any questions and go back to business as usual.  Do you have someone that you work with that could prep everyone before you return?