Have you read this? LIP

jeannkerricotober09

https://www.momsinmaine.com/2012/05/wake-up-moms-youre-fighting-the-wrong-fight/

butterflygrooves

It's linking me back to TB message boards.

jeannkerricotober09

barhg.  I don't know how to get the link.. google 'Wake up moms- you're fighting the wrong fight'

Mrs._F

So true!

Though I def could do without the kindasorta insuation that it's "the feminists' " fault!

The whole Time mag uproar has been a major bummer for me. I've seen so much media coverage that refers to AP parenting as "extreme," which really offends and upsets me. It's annoying to have something I believe in being distorted so much in the mainstream media. And aside from anything to do with AP to feel like the public thinks it's their business to judge "moms" as a whole for sport.

So sad that the public discourse on being a mom is all this nonsense rather than the egregious state of "family friendly" policy in this country.

Thanks for the link, Jean!

butterflygrooves

I tried to post a clicky link to no avail.

I really liked the article, she made a lot of very valid points.  I remember watching a show, maybe an Oprah special, awhile back that talked about different countries family leaves, medical care, taxes, etc and I was so surprised at how lackluster America is compared to the rest of the world, this blog post proves it once again.

I think if America provided a better family leave, so much would change for our country.  How many kids end up in jail/prison because they say their parents weren't there for them because they had to work?  That's money out of our pockets that could be going toward parental leaves...  

I would have no problem paying insane taxes to get better leaves and medical care.  Check out Sweden, they have one of the best.

"Sweden is one country which provides generous parental leave: all working parents are entitled to 16 months paid leave per child, the cost being shared between employer and the state. To encourage greater paternal involvement in child-rearing, a minimum of 2 months out of the 16 is required to be used by the "minority" parent, in practice usually the father, and some Swedish political parties on the political left argue for legislation to oblige families to divide the 16 months equally between both parents." - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parental_leave

Maybe we should all move to Sweden. 

butterflygrooves

Oh, and the whole Mommy Wars stuff is just stupid...  Who cares how the next guy is parenting their kids as long as they aren't harming them.  

Why do we need to define our style of parenting?  I did the whole survival parenting thing with A and she has turned out to be an amazing kid.  I did everything instinctively with her, no parenting books, no pressure to fit into this or that mold; I got to enjoy parenting her without the stress of following the rules of other "styles".

Now that everybody seems to have a style, there is so much pressure to fit into a category, it can be overwhelming.  I've bought some parenting books, they range a few different styles but not a single one of them works for all of my children and I don't have what it takes to follow all of the rules for 4 different styles, it's just too stressful.  

I feel like I've come full circle and am at a place where survival parenting is taking over again; judge me if you may but sometimes surviving means that my toddler tantrums, my baby coos, my 4 year old spins in circles singing loudly and my 8 year old asks a billion questions in the middle of the store while you are standing near us with your perfectly behaved child.  Don't judge me, I'm doing my best.

ClickerishReturns

My mother was a mother who followed some styles--I am positive she read up on these things. Make your own food, drink special teas, read them the encyclopedia. She is also the most unsympathetic, cold and rule-obsessed person you will ever meet. I felt like all that planning was to make me into a product that made her look good. 

I will take the mother whose kid is a bit dirty but she hugs him, tells him he's smart for knowing how to plant a seed and buys him a cookie over the one who whips out the wipes and some organic crackers any day. 

Nothing, per se, is wrong with any of the above, except...the attitude.