Good, bad, shades of grey in social dilemmas

anna7602

I have no idea how to phrase my question succinctly here, but I'll try. Does anyone have any book recos on how to explain issues like crime, etc. to a 4-year-old? I guess at this age, simplification is best, but my super-crunchy-liberal side cringes when I hear DD say things like "bad people go to jail." Clearly, she's not ready for a schpiel about how flawed the justice system can be and how not everyone who is in jail is "bad" and blah blah blah, but she is aware of things like burglars and pick pockets and purse thiefs and she wants to talk about them and their motivations and what happens to them within society.

So, help? I'll even take kids' books recos that portray cat burglars and whatnot.

Harper'smom

This is such strange timing as last night I heard Harper playing and putting her toys and herself in jail. I don't know where she learned about it, school I guess, but she was really into it. We just explained that it is not a place she wants to go.

This doesn't address your question but the grey will likely work it's way in on it's own. 

BLuvsE

My dad was a lawyer so he always wanted to make sure we understood how all that worked. We used to play court over silly stuff like "Who gets the last cookie?" or "Who colored on the walls?" I think I understood from an early age that bad people should go to jail, but that sometimes it doesn't work that way and good people end up there or bad people somehow get out of it...

CountingUp

Slinky Malinky is a cute book about a thieving cat.  He doesn't go to jail though

 

 

Switzerland87

Hi, Im primarily a lurker on this board, but I thought I'd jump in here. My dad was, and still is, a detective. When I was young, he did a good job of explaining his job and why it was necessary, by teaching me and my brother that there are people out there who do bad things and hurt other people and that his job (or police in general) was to do their best to find those people and stop them from continuing to hurt people. They may not always be able to, but they try. Both my parents also taught us that people themselves aren't good or bad, but that they make good and bad choices, and those choices have corresponding consequences. 

It was all kept very simple, and we learned more about the details of the judicial system when we were older.  

ctbride08

This has always been a topic at the forefront for me because I started fostering my son at 3.5 and the environment from which he came included a lot of exposure to crime, people going to jail, cops being the bad guys, ect.  So its been a long standing conversation in our house and its been interesting to see how it develops as he gets older.

Generally speaking, we take this approach:

Switzerland87:

 Both my parents also taught us that people themselves aren't good or bad, but that they make good and bad choices, and those choices have corresponding consequences. 

I tell him that all people make poor choices at times - its something that is part of being human and those mistakes can help us grow.  But, when people make such poor choices that it hurt others its very sad and there are serious consequences like going to jail (they have to go there since they cant be trusted to be around other people without hurting them).  I also talk to him about rehabilitation and how I think its important for people in jail to be taught the things they need so that they will be able to get another chance and not hurt people any more.

He still plays "jail" a lot (what is it about jail that fascinates kids??) but he'll use language like, "You make a bad choice mister! you are going to jail to learn how to be nice!" lol

ctbride08

Oh, and as for robbers, pick pockets and things like that, I confirm that those are very bad choices because it makes people upset to have their things taken from them (how would you feel if someone took your money without asking?).  But, sometimes those people take money because they think they need it and dont have other choices.  And that usually spirals into converstation about how some people have a lot of money and some people dont have enough money and if people shared the wealth better maybe people wouldn't chose to steal.

So, yeah, we have fairly grown up converstations but he understands almost all of it!

Raggedy1

ctbride08:

Oh, and as for robbers, pick pockets and things like that, I confirm that those are very bad choices because it makes people upset to have their things taken from them (how would you feel if someone took your money without asking?).  But, sometimes those people take money because they think they need it and dont have other choices.  And that usually spirals into converstation about how some people have a lot of money and some people dont have enough money and if people shared the wealth better maybe people wouldn't chose to steal.

So, yeah, we have fairly grown up converstations but he understands almost all of it!

Lurker butting in:  Sometimes I wish TB had a "LIKE" button...  you seem like a great mom!