General rant about condolences

BootsOrHearts

1. Why do people come over to console us then not ASK or say anything about it except to mumble 'sorry' on the way out? 

 2. Why does everyone give us PLANTS? Is it because they think we will get teary eyed when the flowers die? 

Just wanted to generally complain. I know it's awkward for people who haven't been through it, they don't know what to say.  

tubbsy32

I totally understand where you are coming from! I told my DH I NEVER want flowers again! I just relate them to losing Jacob now, and I hated having to throw them out once they were dead. The last vase was the hardest. And as for people.....most of them suck in this situation! I would rather people just tell me that they don't know what to say, rather than to say nothing at all. Because what they don't realize is that we don't know what to say either. ((hugs))

eroplane

I agree!! I threw all flowers and cards away but then I received an orchid and assorted flower vase weeks after - and I loved them. I don't know if I was just in a slightly better place or what. I still have the orchid and I think I will be sad when it dies. Yay emotions. Big hugs to you. 

weddedwife

Unfortunately you will face many more "icky" feeling moments. People are so odd when it comes to death, especially this kind. If it were your father or a close friend who passed, they would offer their condolences immediately. They wouldn't just ignore it. The worst part was when we saw tons of family 3 weeks after our loss and 99% of them said NOTHING. Nothing at all. Turns out that someone had told them not to say anything, but... they listened?? Who would think that was the right thing to do?

Sorry, didn't mean to give my own rant. But this is a sore spot still.