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With 5 days to spare

NMscubagirlNMscubagirl member
in Infertility Veterans
AF is here. apparently my body, like me likes to wait to the last minute! So barring cysts and such at baseline we are on for this cycle and I start bcps in 2 days.

Is it strange that I'm not really excited this time? I want to be positive and up beat but truthfully I'm just scared. The close we get to round 3 the closer we get to a lifetime of an empty ute. I just want to stop time and never let this shred of hope go. Of course I also know that the only way to change this is to keep putting one foot in front of the other one scary needle at a time. I am still scared though.

"the brave are simply those with the clearest vision of what is before then - glory and danger alike - and, notwithstanding, go out to meet it" -Kate and leopold (bad movie, good quote)
imageimage

Dx: DH - Azoo, Me - Mild PCOS
DH - sperm found! Seems to produce only for a few days every 70 days!
Over 1 million in cryo in 15 vials over 6 samples
IVF #1 - 1 beautiful expanded blast transferred, 4 snowbabies - beta #1 11/30/11 = BFFN
FET #1, transfered 2 embies 2/16/12 = BFFN; 1 snowbaby left in cryo
IVF #2 + CGH = 4 genetically normal embies on ice. FET September 26th
SAIF/PAIF always welcome

a special GL and prayers to my IF sister Gregermis

image
check out my blog!

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Re: With 5 days to spare

  • lynn0926lynn0926 member
    This whole process is so scarey! Hang on tight and I hope it is a nice easy ride for you this time! PPV!
    Pregnancy Ticker
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  • Roxie5739Roxie5739 member

    imageNMscubagirl:
    Is it strange that I'm not really excited this time? I want to be positive and up beat but truthfully I'm just scared.  I just want to stop time and never let this shred of hope go. Of course I also know that the only way to change this is to keep putting one foot in front of the other one scary needle at a time. I am still scared though.

    That was so me on my last cycle. I was not excited about it, I had a lot of mixed emotions, in part, I was trying to manage my own expectations and prepare for disappointment. It was a great cycle for me so I was surprized with the outcome and now I am feeling sort of the same way for my FET (I nearly even delayed doing it as I was not in a good place last week).

    Fx that 3rd time is a charm Scuba! I am rooting for you this cycle. GL gal!!!

    Multiple ectopics, 2 failed IVF's
    IVF #1: Did not get to ET, embies all failed PGD (major chromosomal defects)
    IVF #2: We have 2 chromosomally perfect embies as a result of PGD (Boy/Girl) 1 failed the thaw (Girl) Transferred 1, yet ended as a c/p
    Thought it was the end of our TTC Journey 6/20/2012
    SHOCK BFP 9/28/2012: IT'S A BOY! and everything is normal !!!!!!

    Little A born 38w 2d on 05/23/13 and is a true miracle for this IF Vet!
     

    image              

     


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  • joules12joules12 member
    So hoping that this cycle is a successful one, Scuba!  Sending you lots of good luck and positive "one foot in front of the other" vibes.
    TTC since honeymoon in 9/2010
    Me: 39, Dx DOR (FSH = 10.5, AMH = 0.43, best AFC = 10), AMA
    MH: 37, Dx Obstructive Azoospermia, multiple successful sperm retrieval procedures

    1/2012: IVF/ICSI #1 Antagonist = cancelled d/t poor response to max stims
    2/2012: IVF/ICSI #2 MDLF (4R, 4M, 1F) = BFP, saw heartbeat, missed m/c 9w0d, D&E
    8/2012: IVF/ICSI #3 EPP/MDLF (7R, 2M, 1F) = BFN

    12/2012: (New RE) Operative hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue

    1/2013: IVF/ICSI #4 Low-dose stim/Antagonist (AFC=6); ER=1/26 (5R-couldn't access rt ovary, 5M, 4F), ET=1/29 (trans 3) = BFP!; 2/11 beta#1(13dp3dt)=2127, 2/13=3367; twin girls due 10/19/13

    PAIF/SAIF very welcome!

    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Pregnancy"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt16bf7d.aspx" alt=" BabyFruit Ticker" border="0"  /></a>
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  • Ann679Ann679 member

    Fingers crossed this is your cycle!  Thinking of you!

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  • Aegis2005Aegis2005 member
    Yay!  I don't think it's strange to be less than enthusiastic about your upcoming cycle.  I've lost the enthusiasm I had in the past.
    Me: 35 DH: 37 TTC since 4/2010
    DX: 6/9/2011: Azoo ICSI/IVF only option for biological child
    IVF #1: ER - 9/26 * ET - 10/1 * beta#1 10/13 - 140 * beta#2 10/17 - 477 * beta#3 10/20 - 1101
    1st u/s at 6w6d - one hb * 2nd u/s at 8w3d - no hb detected 11/10/11 * natural m/c 11/13/11
    FET #1 Jan/Feb 2012 - 3 delays - cancelled 2/13
    FET #1.2 - May/June 2012 - ET 6/6/* beta#1 6/15 - 95 * beta #2 6/19 - 322 * beta #3 6/22 - 940
    7/6 1st u/s @ 7 weeks - one beautiful hb - released from RE
    EDD 2/22/2013
    PAIF/SAIF/PGAL welcome
    imageimageimageimage
    BabyFruit Ticker
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  • illinigalillinigal member

    Hugs.  I understand your fears. IVF 5 may be our last and I'm terrified of it not working, but want to try so badly. 

    Best of luck this cycle. Please keep us posted. 

    TTC #1 since October 2008. Dealing with MFI.
    IVF #1 w ICSI in July 2010 = BFN
    IVF #2.1 in Oct 2010 converted to IUI = BFN
    IVF #2.2 w ICSI in Dec 2010 = BFN
    Met with new RE in new city on 1/31/11.
    IVF #3 w ICSI in April 2011. HPT on 5/9 = BFP!
    Beta #1 on 5/10 (10dp5dt) = 99.4. Beta #2 on 5/12 = 284. First u/s on 5/26. = Fraternal TWINS!
    Twin boys born & lost on 8/16/11 at 18w1d due to PPROM & preterm labor.
    IVF #4.1 in Jan 2012 converted to IUI on 1/7/12 = BFN
    IVF #4.2 w ICSI in Feb 2012. Lupron on 2/10. Stims on 2/18. ER on 2/29- 7R,6F
    ET scheduled for 3/5/12- nothing to transfer :(
    Dh seeing new MFI uro & Dh starting meds- June 2012.
    IVF #5 in Dec 2012 = BFFN.
    IVF #6 planned for Spring 2013. Praying for our take home baby/ies.
    **P/SAIF and P/SAL always welcome!**

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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  • GregermisGregermis member

    yay!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

    I completely hear you on the shred of hope thing.  I think it's one reason that I wont' be upset if I get delayed a couple of weeks or even more for this upcoming FET.  Unless something comes back abnormal on the RLP, we'll be moving onto adoption before pursuing further treatment.  ((hugs))

    I have my Fx sooo sooo sooooooooo hard for you lady!

    TTC #1 Since 4/2010, Cycle 30
    Positive for HLA-B27, I'm a mutant :p
    Testing - Me ok, gluten issue? DH - borderline count, low motility
    4/28/11 IUI#1 = BFP!(5/25), EDD 2/2/12 - m/c 5w3d
    7/3, 7/31, 9/25 - IUI#2-4=BFN
    IVF#1 - 1 blast = BFP!! (12/30), EDD 9/9/12, confirmed c/p 4w2d
    FET#1 3/2/12 - 2 blasts =BFP!! EDD 11/18/12, us#1 = twins! Confirmed m/c 5w6d
    4/20-surprise BFP and another c/p 4w2d
    FET#2 7/16/12 - 2 blasts = BFN
    FET#3 8/20/12 - 1 blast - BFP!! Beta #1-2=177, 354
    1st u/s 5w6d, one beautiful little HB :), 2nd u/s 146bpm
    baby girl born 5/10/13

    TTC#2 since 12/17/2014, Cycle 8
    Repeat Testing...FSH=12, AMH=3.8, AFC=28. 
    IUI#5 5/10/15- c/p?
    IVF#2 8/19/15 - cancelled due to cysts
    IVF#2 take two 10/2015 - 5 blasts frozen
    FET#4 12/11/2015 - BFN - 4 blasts remaining
    FET#5 2/18/16 - BFP!!!  Beta1-3, 126, 250, 745!!

    Image and video hosting by TinyPicLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    Tons of love and ((hugs)) to my IF sister NMscubagirl


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  • NMscubagirlNMscubagirl member
    Thanks girls. I knew you all would understand. What would I do without you!
    imageimage

    Dx: DH - Azoo, Me - Mild PCOS
    DH - sperm found! Seems to produce only for a few days every 70 days!
    Over 1 million in cryo in 15 vials over 6 samples
    IVF #1 - 1 beautiful expanded blast transferred, 4 snowbabies - beta #1 11/30/11 = BFFN
    FET #1, transfered 2 embies 2/16/12 = BFFN; 1 snowbaby left in cryo
    IVF #2 + CGH = 4 genetically normal embies on ice. FET September 26th
    SAIF/PAIF always welcome

    a special GL and prayers to my IF sister Gregermis

    image
    check out my blog!

    Report Reply
  • AmCheriAmCheri member
    Being scared isn't strange at all.  To me, it would be more odd to be excited.  It sucks we feel that way.  I'm rooting for you sweets!
    Baby girl Lila born 2013.
    Baby boy Henry born 2015.
    Expecting our capstone baby (boy) early March 2018.
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  • Bethany1026Bethany1026
    It's definitely not unusual to not be excited.  I have been the same way...I just go through the motions.  I feel it's a defense mechanism, I am afraid to get my hopes up again.  Hopefully this is it for you!! GL Smile
    Anniversary
    TTC #1 since 3/10:
    DX: Me-PCOS, retroverted/ tilted ute - DH- MFI, DH-4 mo of Clomid therapy= no improvement. Weekly HCG injections.
    Me-34, DH-33
    HSG- unsuccessful, SHSG (dialated)-no blockages
    7/11-Clomid (unmonitored) BFN,
    #1 Fresh IVF 9/11: w/ ICSI & AH (only option): (1 transfered, 8BF) = BFN!!
    #2 FET: 2 transferred (2 6BF) 12/11 = BFFN!!
    Surprise + HPT on break! 2/12 Beta 1: 6 Beta 2: <5 = c/p ( RE had given me provera... So pretty sure this ruined everything)<BR> #3 Fresh IVF 3/12: w/ ICSI & AH (2 transfered 8BF & 7BF, 1 to freeze) = BFMFN!
    New RE 5/12
    6/14 Hysteroscopy
    #4 Fresh IVF 8/12: 5dt of 2 5AB blasts = BFN!... what else is new?!?
    New RE insists its a transfer issue, immunology checked & good
    #5 IVF FET 1/13 under anesthesia : Two 5 day blasts transferred
    + HPT!! Beta1: 2315 Beta2: 6442 Beta3: 31,061
    First u/s 1/30/13: Shows 1 healthy heartbeat!!

    Was he was right? I wasted 4 IVF's and the doctors were not getting the catheter in?!?
    ~~ Bump Bestie/ IRL Lynn0926 ~~
    BabyFruit Ticker
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  • reb259reb259 member

    imageNMscubagirl:
    AF is here. apparently my body, like me likes to wait to the last minute! So barring cysts and such at baseline we are on for this cycle and I start bcps in 2 days.

    Is it strange that I'm not really excited this time? I want to be positive and up beat but truthfully I'm just scared. The close we get to round 3 the closer we get to a lifetime of an empty ute. I just want to stop time and never let this shred of hope go. Of course I also know that the only way to change this is to keep putting one foot in front of the other one scary needle at a time. I am still scared though.

    "the brave are simply those with the clearest vision of what is before then - glory and danger alike - and, notwithstanding, go out to meet it" -Kate and leopold (bad movie, good quote)

    Wishing you all the luck!!  I am rooting for you.  BTW, I feel exactly the same way!!  So hopefully it is normal.  I am sure it is... hugs!!

    I am AMA and all tests on H came back normal
    3 failed IVF with OE and 2 failed frozen DE cycles
    Last fresh hail mary DE cycle starting Feb 2013
    PAIF/SAIF always welcome
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  • jessican08jessican08 member

    I love that quote.

    Wishing you lots of luck, Hon. I hope this lucky #3 for you.

    TTC 12/2009
    Me: 32 - Stage II Endo / DH: 36 - Low count and morphology (1%)
    IUIs 1-3 BFN, lap Dec. 2010, IUIs 4-6 BFN
    IVF w/ICSI #1 - ER 2/8: 24R 19M 9F ET 2/13 2-5 day blasts (no frosties) = BFP - b/g twins!
    E & C Born 10/19/2012
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • thewormstheworms member

    it's hard to have the same excitement cycle after cycle.  as you get further into it you may feel a little more but either way it won't impact outcome.

    ((HUGS)) and GL & PPV

    i hope this is your last one

    image
    Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles, It empties today of its strength. ~Corrie ten Boom
    Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow. ~Mary Anne Radmacher (thank you beadinglady)

    It's been a long journey. TTC since 9/06. multiple IUI's and IVF's and 4 m/c's. IVF#3 = BFP, twins, induced at 34w6d due to baby b passing away (no explanation). Delivered on 35w1d, Baby A - baby girl, and Baby B - baby boy, our little angel.
    MTHFR A1298C & C677T, Immune Issues and Factor II
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