We had the 'talk'...1 or 2 more cycles and we are done.....

fingerscrossed72

It was a tough talk to get through, but we will do 1 to 2 more medicated cycles and then we are done. just done. As much as it upsets me I feel like there has been a huge weight lifted from my shoulders. I have done everything I can do.

We originally wanted to try thru August...but I am not fairing to well emotionally.....and it has put an unnecessary stress on our relationship. So here's to hoping that something finally gives on my upcoming cycle....I always love a good hail mary.

* I did tell him if we happen to come across a random 15k that it is to be set aside for IVF.

danieleandwayne

I don't know what to say, other than I hope that you get your hail mary-- some of them are successful, right? so why not yours-- and if you don't, I hope your decision brings you the peace you deserve.

I hope I can find that same peace if this doesn't work out for me. It's something I'm still wrestling with a lot. 

GL!

fingerscrossed72

danieleandwayne:

I don't know what to say, other than I hope that you get your hail mary-- some of them are successful, right? so why not yours-- and if you don't, I hope your decision brings you the peace you deserve.

I hope I can find that same peace if this doesn't work out for me. It's something I'm still wrestling with a lot. 

GL!

Thanks Daniele. It was a decision that wasn't made lightly, I knew what he was leaning towards and I have been a bear to be with. It's like a downhill battle you cant win. I feel like a huge failure because I cant give the man I love a child, so this knocks my self confidence, the clomid and/or ovidrel have packed about 15 extra lbs on me..again with the self confidence thing...not to mention the clomid makes me feel like a raving *** most days..it's just so depressing.

danieleandwayne

fingerscrossed72:

Thanks Daniele. It was a decision that wasn't made lightly, I knew what he was leaning towards and I have been a bear to be with. It's like a downhill battle you cant win. I feel like a huge failure because I cant give the man I love a child, so this knocks my self confidence, the clomid and/or ovidrel have packed about 15 extra lbs on me..again with the self confidence thing...not to mention the clomid makes me feel like a raving *** most days..it's just so depressing.

I think we've all felt like failures, but I remember a coworker telling me once (she had to adopt because she is infertile) that she had to finally realize that what makes her a woman is not in her uterus, but something much more. I cling to that notion like a drowning woman clings to a rescue ring. 

And the man you love loves you, not just your body. And while we don't feel sexy when we gain weight (I've gained 70 pounds since meeting MH because of my fibromyalgia), the people who love us still think we're sexy. 

As for the crazy, well, I think most men just figure that comes with being heterosexuals who want a monogymous relationship-- I don't know if MH knows the difference between Clomid crazy and my regular crazy. 

Hang in there-- you are doing what is important for your relationship and your mental health. 

And who knows? Maybe making this decision will let your uterus relax and do some baby-making!

fingerscrossed72

danieleandwayne:

fingerscrossed72:

Thanks Daniele. It was a decision that wasn't made lightly, I knew what he was leaning towards and I have been a bear to be with. It's like a downhill battle you cant win. I feel like a huge failure because I cant give the man I love a child, so this knocks my self confidence, the clomid and/or ovidrel have packed about 15 extra lbs on me..again with the self confidence thing...not to mention the clomid makes me feel like a raving *** most days..it's just so depressing.

I think we've all felt like failures, but I remember a coworker telling me once (she had to adopt because she is infertile) that she had to finally realize that what makes her a woman is not in her uterus, but something much more. I cling to that notion like a drowning woman clings to a rescue ring. 

And the man you love loves you, not just your body. And while we don't feel sexy when we gain weight (I've gained 70 pounds since meeting MH because of my fibromyalgia), the people who love us still think we're sexy. 

As for the crazy, well, I think most men just figure that comes with being heterosexuals who want a monogymous relationship-- I don't know if MH knows the difference between Clomid crazy and my regular crazy. 

Hang in there-- you are doing what is important for your relationship and your mental health. 

And who knows? Maybe making this decision will let your uterus relax and do some baby-making!

You made me cry....and I absolutely agree, we are all on this same ride. I guess some of us just handle it differently. Thanks again for your kind words. They are appreciated.

dhreczuck

That must have been a very difficult conversation, this ttc journey really can do a number on your self confidence, but every word that Daniele said is so true.  I've come to realize my DH does want a LO, but not at the cost of something happening to me or losing our relationship. I'm sure you DH feels the same way.

10-4LilBuddy

What a difficult talk.  Kudos for the two of you sitting down and figuring out what works best for you both. 

I am praying for a Hail Mary for you and all of us.

BabyVDM

Hail Mary.  It does happen sometimes.

 

lindaeverly

((hugs)). Danielleanddewayne is very eloquent & hit the nail on the head!!!!! I hope that it happens for all of us before we're pushed to the brink!

fingerscrossed72

Thank you all. I realize my words could be any of yours. Your support is more appreciated than you'll ever know!  

MrsTRAV

I'm glad you were able to talk it out and made the decision. I hope the the next cycle is the one.

Faithfullyinlove

10-4LilBuddy:

What a difficult talk.  Kudos for the two of you sitting down and figuring out what works best for you both. 

I am praying for a Hail Mary for you and all of us.

Well said.....Praying for you and the rest of us!!! 

Amyaggie97

That's a very hard decision to make and talk to have.  Good luck with your future cycles, I pray one of these are it for you.

 

robbensm

I have a friend who is also 37 and after TTC for several years & the removal of an ovary decided to be done as well.  They decided to go the adoption route and last October they adopted their newborn son.  Two months later she found out she was pregnant.  In July they will have two babies under the age of one. 

I've always been a beliver in the old saying "everything happens for a reason" so when ever things don't go my way I try to come back to that & count my blessings.  It doens't always work (that's when it's nice to have an outlet like this one to vent to during my 'poor me' moments & get support from others going through similar situations) but most of the time it helps.  And I have found many a time when I change my focus onto being greatful for what I do have, I end up getting what I need & then some.  I hope you end up getting what you need and then some too!

fingerscrossed72

robbensm:

I have a friend who is also 37 and after TTC for several years & the removal of an ovary decided to be done as well.  They decided to go the adoption route and last October they adopted their newborn son.  Two months later she found out she was pregnant.  In July they will have two babies under the age of one. 

I've always been a beliver in the old saying "everything happens for a reason" so when ever things don't go my way I try to come back to that & count my blessings.  It doens't always work (that's when it's nice to have an outlet like this one to vent to during my 'poor me' moments & get support from others going through similar situations) but most of the time it helps.  And I have found many a time when I change my focus onto being greatful for what I do have, I end up getting what I need & then some.  I hope you end up getting what you need and then some too!

Thank you....I like your attitude!